BenDoCo I'm getten too old for this s**t Bronze Donating Members 4,509 Member For: 11y 10m 6d Gender: Male Location: A big bridge over a river in South Australia Posted 15/04/14 07:47 AM Share Posted 15/04/14 07:47 AM #infirstPix of sister Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kjoy064 Member 276 Member For: 17y 11m Gender: Male Location: WA Posted 15/04/14 07:50 AM Share Posted 15/04/14 07:50 AM Keep your chin up mate, it does and will work it's self out and hopefully for the best but need to keep working on it.I can tell you from experience in moving from WA to NSW to keep the wife happy at the time to find out that before moving over was 8 weeks pregnant with our adorable son. I'm 38 and she is 28 next month but we have moved back to WA and have been for 18 months but getting her to board that return plane was the hardest thing as she didn't want to and only came back so her son had a father in his life (we are no longer together). After a period of a month back here she decided to leave and we parted way and the decision was already made before she actually came out and told me all the why's and the one thing that sticks in my mind is she wanted to part ways whilst amicable on her end and before the hate started.18 months down the track and I can say I'm happy being single and have no interest at all in getting involved with someone new. I have my son 50/50 enjoy my F6 and love my R1 (nothing clears the mind than wide open spaces at speed)..I'll stop ranting but hang in the for what ever comes and hope it works out for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Never had any say Panda I <3 Floods Silver Donating Members 11,198 Member For: 13y 6m 12d Gender: Male Location: South West QLD Posted 15/04/14 08:50 AM Share Posted 15/04/14 08:50 AM (edited) Kosij mate that's friggin remarkable! No other word for it!As much as it's a shocking story it fills me with a lot of happiness to see people making those sacrifices for their kids.. Makes me realise there is still a few good fruits on a tree gone pretty bad..I have a mate who actually is making a similar choice.. However he alternates week by week with the family home and a rental unit.. So the kids don't have to swap homes every week they stay in one spot and the adults swap. I couldn't do that I don't think..Also Matty.. Avoid alcohol mate it never solves the problem..Also..This forum is great!! Seriously usually I'm thinking 'oh I hate doing most of the housework.. I hate looking after animals she wanted' blah blah blah..Really puts our own gripes into perspective.. Edited 15/04/14 08:53 AM by Never had any say Panda 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JVK Silver Donating Members 751 Member For: 19y 1m 26d Gender: Male Location: North West Hot Hell,VIC Posted 15/04/14 10:12 AM Share Posted 15/04/14 10:12 AM Kosij, Very admirable of you to share with others your life experiences as much as it must of been hard to post. Just letting you know that their is others in similar circumstances that live similar lives.It is amazing at times what a father will sacrifice in his life for his children. These are the things that make you a good father and good parent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rab WOT? Moderating Team 10,981 Member For: 11y 11m 18d Gender: Male Location: Frankston, 3199 Posted 15/04/14 10:31 AM Share Posted 15/04/14 10:31 AM 18 months down the track and I can say I'm happy being single and have no interest at all in getting involved with someone new. I have my son 50/50 enjoy my F6 and love my R1 (nothing clears the mind than wide open spaces at speed).. Have just got my son moving back to live with me this week (after 8 years of him living with his mum 200kms away and doing the every 2nd weekend and most of school holidays stuff).His schooling was starting to suffer and she was struggling with the distance and trying to run a few acres by herself (they lived 40kms from town/servo/supermarket etc)The initial breakup was the worst time of my life - made worse/more painful for/by me trying to set things right, long after that bird had flown the coop.Nothing is more painful or messes with your mind more than chasing something that is irreconcilable - made all the worse from the other party not being totally honest (either in an attempt to be kind or not wanting to upset the other person or just from being a deceitful bitch).The moment I had a change of focus - stopped caring (honestly not caring) what she was doing, who she was with or looking for a future that involved her (focusing solely on my son) was the moment I got my life back. Took a while for the change to sink into her (her jibes, pokes and insults were no longer working and she couldn't fathom why) but before too long things were amicable between us again - even to the point of friendly. Not sure where I was going with this - just thought we were all spreading our moments of gloom That said - I've now got my XR6T, ZX-14R, house and my son - plus I have my soul back Things do get better :D 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kjoy064 Member 276 Member For: 17y 11m Gender: Male Location: WA Posted 15/04/14 10:49 AM Share Posted 15/04/14 10:49 AM House, son - plus I have my soul back Things do get better :DNo truer words have been said. All in good time. Well done mate! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dagabond Bored Member Administrator 35,722 Member For: 22y 2m 30d Gender: Male Location: Dé·jà vu Posted 15/04/14 11:24 AM Share Posted 15/04/14 11:24 AM Actually, after reading a few of the posts again before I hit the send button, how about dragging all this into a new thread for Matt - and anyone else that may want to talk about the down side of relationships coz as we all now know ---- sharing is caringThere is a thread here somewhere...43 single for 23 of them no kids none of the problems above....but there are different problems that go along with that as well.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wenier Donating Members 1,736 Member For: 15y 26d Gender: Male Location: Christchurch, New Zealand Posted 15/04/14 11:30 AM Share Posted 15/04/14 11:30 AM (edited) It is truly amazing how much it happens and how many people have gone through this also.I ended my marriage 2 years ago, after being together for 8 years (1 year married but together 7 beforehand)It also came down to the I want kids now situation. We were not in a financially stable position to even start thinking about kids at the time and to be honest I was bleeding money keeping her happy and doing things all the time. We had 2 cats, a dog, and a rabbit (don't think there was anything else).Basically she started not coming home after work just to avoid me for no reason apart from the fact I had explained how it wouldn't work having kids quite yet. I was 26 at this time and she was 23. Now since I work shift work that meant we really didn't see each other at all.Next she just moved out to her mothers and wouldn't talk etc. I was really lucky that my parents were very helpful throughout this time, enough so that my father dropped everything (runs his own vineyard so if he is not there doing it, nothing happens) to come and support me and try help out. Unfortunately her parents were not at all helpful throughout this time. They didn't try to talk her through it or anything the only ones who did were my mum and dad.Eventually we got to the point where we were talking again and seemed to be working things out, life was looking up. Then all of a sudden she basically started blackmailling me with kids or divorce. That didn't fly well with me at all as if she is doing it now and we do somehow reconcile then whats to say this whole episode wouldn't happen again. I eventually bit the bullet and actually ended it there and then. It was a horrible time in my life that was made worse by the fact I then found out she had cheated on me twice, once while actually married.But 2 years on, and divorce (have to wait 2 years in NZ) finally done everything is great. After only 6 months of being separated life was already much better, also somehow I was saving money even though I had to pay mortgage and all bills myself. Its weird what happens in life but we learn from it and this place helps keep it sane. Other people that were quite helpful was a couple of my workmates. There are alot of people out there with good life experiences and advice.Sorry bit long winded and hopefully its readable/understandable. Be strong bud and I hope you work it out and get in the right mindset whichever path it may take. Edited 15/04/14 11:37 AM by Wenier 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k31th less WHY; more WOT Site Developer 29,228 Member For: 16y 10m 3d Gender: Male Location: Melbourne Posted 15/04/14 11:43 AM Share Posted 15/04/14 11:43 AM Some pretty sad stuff in here... I have some stuff to add but I'm not interested in sharing... but all I have to say is that there's always somebody worse off than you, so look at the positive side for a really sad story, here's one I remember reading -.>http://www.fordxr6turbo.com/forum/topic/21875-can-best-friends-ever-be-life-time-partners/#entry323732 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discostig Manual mode ________________________ All day, erryday Donating Members 13,798 Member For: 17y 2m 19d Gender: Male Location: Probably above atmospheric pressure Posted 15/04/14 12:31 PM Share Posted 15/04/14 12:31 PM (edited) Oh man. That's got to be one of the most heart wrenching stories I've read.A reply from that thread puts it well I think.Hang in there, Dr Z.Life is a blend of busy suburban roads, scenic coastal cruises, and at times, sharp, hard cornered steep hill-climbs.You're currently driving on an outback goat track, full of uncharacteristic pot-holes littered with dangerous obstructions.My advise is drive slowly, take stock of the situation, and look within yourself to find the street sign to get you back on the highway.The forum is always here for directions, and there'll always be someone ready to offer advise, but YOU are in the driver's seat.Keep well, friend.Things will get better.tom Edited 15/04/14 12:32 PM by -SteveR- 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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