The Biggest Wank

[Bomber]

Nooooo!

[Simon_h6]

My fisrt car was a VC Late model camira and it had an electronic choke which new worked properly. Rather than getting it fixed.....I tied a piece of string to the choke and through the firewall into the cabin. If I wanted choke I just pulled the string, wound it around the cigarete lighter. It was pretty dodgy but worked well.

In the same VC Late model camira the wiper motor decided to die. I had to go to work later on that day and the weather was not looking good. I though I better bring along the window cleaner squeegee just in case it rained. Half way to work it starts to rain......you know how hard it is to drive at 70km/h with your arm out the window trying to clean the window.

[bradles024]

bit of rainex works wonders mate

[quadie]

I can feel your pain dags , spent hours and hours polishing my little show car , changed the oil and everything ready for a show.

(those who live in QLD will understand , but the garage is only bricked ant the front , and lattice work on the rest)

there was a small gap down the bottom the catscan slip through (CATS ARE TRAINED NOT TO SIT ON THE CARS!!!)

well it was late and I was tired and couldnt be bothered looking for a bottle to dispose of the old engne oil.

well in the morning the I head to the garage to get ready, only to be stopped by my missus screaming at me that one of the cats

is looking very wet and its not water..... so grab the cat, sure enough was covered in used engine oil. so not having much time to think

I grab the cat and head to the garage to see what I can clean the cat with. upon opening the door I see a horrid sight , the car has oily

paw prints all over it!, put the cat in its cage. and head over to the car, only to find te scattered remains or a bird the cat had been fighting/eating.

so I start on the car (stuff the cat it can suffer) (its in the cage crying!). get the car all cleaned up , running out of time I grab the cat and start to scrub it with detergent.

not coming of well and if you have ever tried to wash a cat , its not easy , especialy an oily cat!! , so I think stuff it , grab a canof carby cleaner and unload on a good portion on the cat. now its really pissed at me and the neighbours come ovr thinking I doing something horrible to the cat (nothing it didnt deserve).

so the cat is going nutz!!! , I throw it in the cage and take it too the vet. the vet laughs so hard when I tell them the story. the ysay they wil see what the can do.

so I head home to get the car. miss the entry time. so dont make it in. so head home and finsh cleaning the garage.

later that afternoon. the vet rings , had to first sedate the thing cause it was still going nuts! , they tried heaps to wash him , but had t shave him

so I go inside and tell me missus im going out to get shaved pussy. (he he). well anyway $250 and one weird lookin cat later , I head home and drown my sorrows

with a fair few bundys!!

that my lil funny story!!

[mjadeb1984]

gold

[Banned1]

absolute ripper !

I bet the vet wasthinking something weird.....OIL+ Pussy = weirdo !

[XF Falcon]

Carby cleaner, brilliant!!! Was probably burning the pussys skin :D

[The Jizard]

Plumbed up an oil catch can on the Foon, plumbing from rocker and PCV valve with no breather = FAIL! Oil pressured up and bang pops out the dipstick spraying oil all over the bonnet heat sheilding and engine bay, first time didn't know what was going on and thought the dipstick was out a little bit, so cleaned all the oil up with a mate and took it for another test drive and guess what - Bang did it again, finally thought about what the **** I was doing and realised it needed a breather, last comment to myself - What a wanker

[Dagabond]

that my lil funny story!!

That got better as it went along...for us... I dont feel so bad now.