Jump to content

The Nothing Thread


Kimberley Scott

Recommended Posts

  • Dr. Speed
  • Member
  • Member For: 17y 6m 16d
  • Gender: Male
  • Location: The land of Politicians, Public Servants, Porno & Pyrotechnics

Birthday-Gift-Jar-Of-Nothing-Humor-2.jpg

I just wanted to post to say that I had been part of something... which is nothing...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Member
  • Member For: 14y 8m 3d

Nothing

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Jump to: navigation, search

Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Something?

“............”

~ Everybody on Nothing

“I've seen better.”

~ Everything on Nothing

“OMFG!!! WTF?!?”

~ Oscar Wilde on this article

“Why the hell is there something on nothing?Or nothing with something for something in nothing?Or nothing?”

~ Bull crap on This article

Nothing, photographed against a white background.

Before reading this article, it is necessary to wrap ones entire cranium in heavy duty aluminium foil to avoid ones brain from leaking from any openings.

Nothing is nothing that cannot be explained; because there is nothing to explain about nothing. Except, respectively, that Nothing has a thing for Everything. Nothing is a globally accepted A+ answer, however many markers are unaware of this. So if it's Nothing, why are we talking about it, since there is nothing to talk about? Nothing started when nothing began, so if something is beginning consider it as nothing, it will delight you greatly. One must also remember that nothing is also something, so you can consider it as both nothing and something. If nothing is happening you become depressed, but if something is happening you become depressed when it concludes. Sometimes this leads to suicide which can also be considered as nothing because it takes time, and if time is something it is also nothing. So, based on this definition, if one's reading this article you must be either bored or nothing (which can also be something).

If one wishes to be classed as nothing one must leave the universe, which would result in one being something in nothing, and the existing things inside of the universe will consider one as a something that is nothing at all. Others may want to join one and become a something in nothing, or nothing in something that we know nothing about. And if we know nothing about that something we therefore know something about it and that something is nothing.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The reasoning above, once read, will cause you brain to melt and trickle out of your ears in little plops. Have a fun time trying to get it back in, or understand the rest of the article.

Nothing takes no legal responsibility for any self harm caused by this article. All legal cases are to be redirected to Everything.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

However, one must remember what was said earlier, "Nothing is something". So, one must say both 'Nothing' and 'Something' when using either 'Nothing' or 'Something' in a common sentence. To achieve this almost impossible task, we approach this the American way; by simplifying nothing (or something). For example, we can join both Nothing and Something together to form - "som-e-no-thing-thing". The word "som-e-no-thing-thing" would be used as a compulsory alternative to the words 'Something' and 'Nothing'; because, as stated earlier, something is nothing and nothing is something. Somenothingthing will be a required word added to each sentence referring either Something or Nothing; Remembering that Something is two things because Something is also Nothing. We could preform a slightly more logical task, using the word "Everything" in replace of both Something and Nothing, as an alternative to Somenothingthing. In doing this, Everything, with great mathematical skill, will become a four-worded word. And if Everything is Everything , including Nothing and Something (or Somenothingthing), each word in the English language would become a four worded word, regardless of whether, or not, it is referring to a Thing, Nothing, Something, Somenothingthing or Everything. Due to this major changing of the English language, and possibly alphabet, the entire English language would have to be resized to fit the new words. This new English language, which is Something and therefore is Nothing, Somenothingthing, and Everything, would be called 'English in the form of Somenothingthing'. In conclusion, the meaning of Somenothingthing is; Everything, including Nothing. Based on this, the word Everything, which would be replaced with Somenothingthing, would contain eight words. (Not including all other words)

Of coarse, if one doesn't wish to edited their entire language, they can simply add 'Someno' with an infinite amount of the word 'Thing' added to the end of it to each grammatical English sentence. Alternatively, one could duplicate the amount of 'Things' by the total amount of words in the sentence, obviously not including the duplication.

Example - Sir. Governor somenothingthing! I lit my Monkey on fire and now it seems slightly discombobulated somenothingthingthingthingthingthingthingthingthingthingthingthing. What do you suggest I do somenothingthingthingthingthingthing?

Notice the number of 'Things' as compared to the number of words in each sentence. They seem equal.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Another definition of 'Nothing', as written by John Lennon, is 'Nothing is real'. Which implies either that Nothing, as a thing, is existent or that Everything doesn't exist and therefore, Everything is Nothing, or vice-versa.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
  • Create New...
'