Tossers At Work

[Dillz]

So many lol moments, "Now I dont mean that he doesnt shower enough or not often enough, I mean he doesnt shower at all." Pissa!

Reminds me of my cousin, were like "damn man you stink are you allegic to soap or something?" He's like "well actually.."

[Stink]

to Dave

[Stazza_Brendan]

Its crazy the stuff he comes up with, And on the hygene thing, work has 2 wash up troughs with heaps of soap and even a small shower block so there is no excuse on being so dirty.

He is the first at work every day. He doesnt have a key, so he waits for the first person to show up with a key to get in.

We start at 6. He will be there just after 5 some mornings just so he can attack the free coffee. We think this is because he puts all his money into the pokies and cant afford to eat. Even on night shift working 10 hours he wouldnt bring dinner or leave to get food.

He finally managed a win on the pokies and replaced his 25 year old Ford Courier ute that had more rust then the Titanic with a decent condition Nissan Bluebird SSS. After a few months it got a problem and he was walking to work and walking home most days (no one wanted him in their car due to being grease covered and stunk). A guy at work tried to help him out by giving him the number of a good mobile mechanic. But no Dave knew better then the mechanic and he drove it to work one day and said he had fixed the stalling problem by replacing the crank. Not the Crank angle sensor (we asked this multiple times) , but the actual crank, which he changed in his driveway with basic hand tools apparantly.

[Stink]

This guys not a tossa.... hes a stinkin' legend

[qik1]

I vote for more stories of this legend called "Dave" lol

[Rhino1980]

Thieves.....

Someone was leaving, and naively put a list of names on an envelope for donations for a gift, like is done at a lot of other places. $20 was put in to start with and it was passed on. You get it, make a donation (or not), cross your name off, and pass it on to someone else.

After it being passed through everyone on the list, it comes back with about $7 in loose change.

Man, I was gobsmacked. That is such a low act. Some people at that organisation certainly were "Determined to be different".

That's exactly what I'm on about squire. We bought some water ice blocks and put them in the freezer at work for an honesty system that everyone wanted. After a few months and about 10 boxes of 40 at 50c an ice block, there was a WHOPPING 6 bucks in the honesty tin! f*ck me. Lucky the scum bag we knew was doing it but couldn't prove it, and who was also responsible for a hell of a lot of other problems at work has f*cked off somewhere else now. He was stereotypical white trash too, covered in irrelevant, conflicting, and often mis-spelt tatoos. He drank everyone else's milk without asking, took your car and titty magazines home for himself sometimes before you even got to read em properly, dodged work like a champion and was in the bosses office whinging every two seconds. He didn't have the grace to even congratulate a bloke that was the successful candidate over him in a promotion. He also used to slow down when we went past primary schools and look at thirteen to fourteen year old girls. He idolised Ned Kelly and bikie gangs. Funny thing was everyone hated him intensely and bitched about him behind his back but I was the only that ever blew up at him and told him what a bottom feeding grub I thought he was. I nick named him the "Tumour". May his career with his new employer faulter and life dish the dog up exactly what he deserves.

Edited 16/01/11 11:06 AM by Rhino1980

[tab]

lol...we have a "Dave" too.

Staff meals are provided, so he gets his food and wraps it in foil to take home for dinner and then scrounges around for whatever he can find for lunch. And he fckn stinks too.

[Stazza_Brendan]

OK some more Dave tales.

There was a large roller that needed to be assembled, Over 3m long and very heavy. We said we would get crane to lift it but Dave wouldnt have a word of that.

"No that's ok, I was a body builder for 15 years"

This guy is short, frail looking and 55, a 12 year old would beat him up. We think he said this as at the time we did have a guy who was a legit body builder.

He reckons his mum owned or owns (cant remember which) the Brothels in Sydney and whenever he goes there he is treated like royalty.

He has worked with us for something like 18 months, maybe more and in that time I think he has washed out his coffee cup properly maybe half a dozen times. It was supporting some sort of growth for a while in the bottom.

[Rhino1980]

@ furry growth in the coffee cup!

Sounds like he's off his meds this guy

[Stink]

OK some more Dave tales.

"No that's ok, I was a body builder for 15 years"

This guy is short, frail looking and 55, a 12 year old would beat him up.

Thanks Brendan just spat breakky all over the computer screen.