Erko Donating Members 1,079 Member For: 21y 2m 14d Gender: Male Location: Sydney Posted 17/01/11 09:29 AM Share Posted 17/01/11 09:29 AM (edited) +50 for more Dave stories Stazz_Brendan.....sounds like a real Walter Mitty. @ Rhino1980, Tumour indeed, what a straight up carnt of a bloke. I've come across some real dropkicks in my day....- a bloke who would go to lunch and then not come back for the rest of the day....saying his was sick. He was a pokie addict and would go to the pub and chase all his losses. One day the carnt didnt come back for good.....cant get hold of the bloke. he sends his missus in a week later to pick up his stuff. what a man - another bloke who spent 8k on t1ts for his missus.....2 months later her boss was knocking her off, enjoying the new t1ts. Same bloke spent 5k landscaping the garden on a house he was renting.....lease expired 6 months later and wasnt renewed. ooops same bloke had about 5 credit cards at once, maybe 60-70k sitting at 20%.....boss helps him out by putting him in touch with a finance guy to consolidate all these debts in to one personal loan for him......the guy is stoked, now hes got another 200 bucks a week to spend ! no sh1t.- another bloke, a mad drunk. used to take the work van home......goes home one day, 2 days later still no sign....van is found at Marrickville RSL with him sleeping in it.....in the same clothes he left work in the few days before. - another bloke who was an absolute Walter Mitty, used to make up mad lies constantly. Like he was walking down George st and bumped in to Bill Gates, and then had a beer with him.....no sh1t. He was once sprung by the boss whilst on the car phone telling the boss he was at Wetherill Park, as the boss just passed him going the opposite direction on O'Riordan St Alexandria Edited 17/01/11 10:27 AM by Dagabond Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stazza_Brendan Donating Members 686 Member For: 15y 2m 5d Gender: Male Location: Mackay QLD Posted 17/01/11 09:51 PM Share Posted 17/01/11 09:51 PM Ok another Dave tale.About 1 month before it starts getting cool in winter work gives you a high vis orange/navy jumper or jumper like vest. Get one every second year.For those unfamiliar with a central qld winter basically its only cold early morning or night time. And only for a few weeks usually.Dave got his vest when it was still quite warm. That didnt bother dave and within minutes of getting it given to him he was wearing it out in the shed back doing assembly work. We noticed dave was wearing something high vis for once so we all had guesses on how long it would take before it was ruined.Some guessed a day, others 3days and some dreamers thought 1 week.....Half an hour was all it took before grease was smeared into the front and sides of it... This was only the start.Dave wore the jumper non stop for the next few months. Most normal people at work would have jumpers off by 9am and not put them back on. It didnt take long for the grease to build up more and more and before long you couldn't tell the front was once orange. It never got washed during those months. Even after winter passed he still wore it. Then one monday he came in without it. We think he attempted washing it and it fell apart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stink Senior Moron Donating Members 1,059 Member For: 15y 7m 23d Gender: Male Location: Sunshine Coast..... somewhere Posted 18/01/11 12:10 AM Share Posted 18/01/11 12:10 AM Had breaky before reading that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhino1980 09JET Member 1,510 Member For: 15y 5m 26d Gender: Male Location: E. Maitland Posted 18/01/11 06:47 AM Share Posted 18/01/11 06:47 AM LOL at "Ummm I've just sh*t me self.... do I go home..." hahahahaWe've got a complete moon unit that's totally obsessed with chainsaws. I mean this guy beats of to the sound of chainsaws man. He insists on telling you sh*t about chainsaws every farken day. We've tried and tried and tried and tried to get it through to him that it doesn't interest us. We don't care about wood chopping competitions either. The other day he came and told me how he bought a 200 buck Dremel kit to polish his chainsaw carbie. I couldn't help it and just destroyed the poor bloke. Same bloke has been talking about getting a PS3, a Stainless BBQ, a new ute, House extensions and a 600 buck cricket bat even though he doesn't play cricket for the two years I've known him. He is so full of sh*t. We knicknamed him "42", in honour of his apparent IQ. It's funny being in the truck with the boys when this guy is driving, he has violent outbursts at motorists who are doing absolutely nothing wrong like he has tourettes or something. We mock and belittle him and his face goes bright red like a big apple and he starts to breath heavily. I love to say to him "Stay calm f*ckwit". The other day he blew up at someone who rightfully, safely and legally made a right hand turn and he had to slow down. He screamed out the window "YA f***n JEW BREAD *beep*!" Random and hilarious. Incidentally, his name is also Dave, go figure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dagabond Bored Member Administrator 35,722 Member For: 22y 1m 2d Gender: Male Location: Dé·jà vu Posted 18/01/11 07:08 AM Share Posted 18/01/11 07:08 AM Dave deserves his own thread...or even a website.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discostig Manual mode ________________________ All day, erryday Donating Members 13,798 Member For: 17y 22d Gender: Male Location: Probably above atmospheric pressure Posted 18/01/11 09:14 AM Share Posted 18/01/11 09:14 AM Watch out Rhino, sounds like a nutter. A nutter who has anger issues and likes chainsaws as well - not a good combo! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turbo ute79 Member 376 Member For: 16y 3m 19d Gender: Male Location: gladstone qld Posted 18/01/11 10:08 AM Author Share Posted 18/01/11 10:08 AM We had a guy who was a cleaner at the workshop I used to work at. This guy did maybe ten hrs a week and was quite a few cans short. Back in the day when xr6 turbos had just come out and I could only dream of owning one. He reckoned he had one. Well we kept eggin him on and he told us it was in the car park and it did mad skids so a few of us go for a look but no car. Apparently his misus had it that day, maybe.. Same tool also reckoned he had properties in Brisbane and Sydney. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbooker Member 25 Member For: 14y 3m 7d Posted 30/01/11 11:15 PM Share Posted 30/01/11 11:15 PM Lol at Dave!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stazza_Brendan Donating Members 686 Member For: 15y 2m 5d Gender: Male Location: Mackay QLD Posted 01/02/11 07:14 AM Share Posted 01/02/11 07:14 AM Another dave tale.Tuesday last week he wore a work shirt that looked like it was soaked in sump oil to work. Had Wednesday off for Australia day, Then on Thursday the same "oil soaked" shirt was worn to work. Talking about the Cyclone today. Dave reckons he is in the strongest building and has been through many cyclones before so he will be right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stazza_Brendan Donating Members 686 Member For: 15y 2m 5d Gender: Male Location: Mackay QLD Posted 23/02/11 05:52 AM Share Posted 23/02/11 05:52 AM Some major developments on Dave. About a month a go I won a 5buck bet on Dave wearing same shirt the next day.Yesterday (tuesday) he showed up with mondays work shirt and pants. Black and grease covered as usual. Everyone was sick of his hygene so the leading hand told the boss, "if you dont say anything to him we will go above you to HR".Management has been told numerous times about him but keep saying "we will look into it".After being told we would go to HR. Dave was dragged into office and told he has 2 weeks to clean up or be gone. They would buy him new work clothes and he could wear an apron when working.. Today I show up for arvo shift and get told they gave him some cleaning products and told him to shower before leaving today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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