Stupidity

[CHIPS]

Hey Falchoon, you realy are a hoon.

.......Great stories, I like that kind of stupidity!

[CHIPS]

A few years back I called round to a mates house one night to see what he was up to. He'd just put the carby back together on his father-in-laws TC Cortina, and was about to go for a road test, so he said "jump in". As he shut the bonnet I said to him "Aren't you going to put the air cleaner on? he said "Nah, I only want to see if it is still surging." I said "OK".

Went down the road for about 10 mins, (didn't need to go that far to find it was still surging, But we had to finnish our stubbies ) when we saw a yellow flashing on the ground around the front of the car!!

You guessed it, she was on fire, it appeared that not only did he not put the air cleaner on, he also didn't tighten the hose clamp on the fuel line and it had slipped off! We oppened the hood and it wasn't too bad, -just a bit of excess fuel burning & a few other plastic bits, so we were looking round for something to quell the flames, (with no luck) when all of a sudden the starter motor wires melted into some other wires and the car starts cranking on its own. That was a bit of a worry, because the mechanical fuel pump started squirting petrol every where!!

To cut a long story short, that was the end for the Cortina, she burnt to the ground while we stood there.(finnishing off our stubbies!!!!) :o

[MISSXR]

Good one idiot !!

Just send works End of Shift Report to the whole of Kodak in Coburg.

and I signed it:

Batwomen

ME GONNA GET A WARNING................

[Guest HocuSChrisT]

stupid hmmm, you mean like.....

trying to upload to website with port 21 disabled in firewall?

......not that I did that of course :o :lol:

[aniken]

Drum rolls... here we go.... The 7 Idiots of 2003

Number One Idiot of 2003

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control centre. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.

Here's your award, lady. Wear it with pride.

Number Two Idiot of 2003

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.

Here's your award, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.

Number Three Idiot of 2003

A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the street told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.

Don't bother with this guy's award. He probably couldn't read it anyway.

Number four Idiot of 2003

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.

Another award (though this guy might be onto something worth thinking

about)!

Number Five Idiot of 2003

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21. The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

This guy definitely needs a award!

Idiot Number Six of 2003

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

This guy doesn't need a award, he probably figured it out himself.

Idiot Number Seven of 2003

Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a brick through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the brick and heaved it over his head at the window. The brick bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Flexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.

[curious]

I rolled over this morning and gave the missus a nipple cripple, that's really stupid. Testes around the neck look even more stoooopid

[rapt]

[GlennAUII]

hahaahahahahahahhaha :lol: @ curious

[aniken]

Operation Safe Return began at 0001 on Friday 23 January and continues until 2359 hours on Monday 26 January 2004. Reports from police in the field include:

- Just before midnight on Saturday police noticed a Toyota Celica travelling south along Glen Street at Galston with a man lying on the roof of the car. The car was stopped and the driver was subjected to a mobile random breath test that he failed. He was arrested and taken to Hornsby Police station for a breath analysis returning a reading of 0.055

- At 6.50am yesterday, a 19-year-old man was detected travelling 175kph in a 80kph zone on the Great Western Highway at Linden. When the driver was pulled over by police he said he didn't realise he was going that fast.

- Yesterday, a man was seen by police driving north on the Hume Highway, Gundagai travelling at 110kph. At the time the driver had his leg fully extended out the front drivers side window. When police pulled the car over he said that his leg was hot.