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  • Poison Fish. Poison Fish. TASTY FISH!!!
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  • Member For: 22y 1m 9d
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  • Location: The Bogan Shire

sh*ts would be trump if you were in the car at the time!

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  • Gandalf the Grey, Maiar of Manwë and Varda, Team HgAg/Sneaky
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  • Member For: 21y 9m 25d
  • Gender: Male
  • Location: The Shire, Middle Earth

OK, so I'm driving home from the bowls club (with SWMBO). 2 Scotches in 2.5 hours, minding my own business.

I notice this P-plater in an old Expensive Daewoo sedan behind me, darting and weaving across lanes and then he's behind me. :thumbsup:

As I pull up at a set of lights, turning right, he's approaching fast and pulls up at the last second, right up my arse. :angry:

I own this wa*ker, I could blow him away with 5 cylinders tied behind my back, so I decide that when the lights turn green and we both turn right up a slight hill, I'm going to put some distance between us. Can't be bothered playing with him, just want him out of my life!

Lights turn green, I round the right-hander slowly, straighten up and accellerate up the hill away from him.

60k zone, my speed ... :huh:

He's long gone and I'm now in an 80k zone doing the limit.

Now I'm aware of another car that was hanging back a bit coming up the hill. Truth be told, they probably couldn't catch me.

Red and Blue lights make such a pretty display at this time of night. :sick:

"Do you realise what speed you where doing back in the 60k zone, sir?"

"Umm, not really"

"Why were you speeding?"

"I know it's no excuse, but I had this guy on my tail, and I just wanted to get away from him. I thought he was driving badly and he almost ran up my tail back at the last set of lights."

"I was behind him ..."

"Then you saw what happened?"

"I was worried about my car and just wanted to get away from him"

"Can I see you license please"

"Have you had anything to drink"

"Yes"

"When was your last drink?"

"About an hour ago."

"I'm taking your details and informing the station that I have cautioned you."

WHAT THE?

Oh, yes ... oh, thank you God!

"Thank you."

"Good night Mr Boyle, drive safely"

You bet ya!! :thumbsup:

  • The Bionic Man - half man-half titanium
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  • Member For: 22y 15d
  • Location: Dodge Scat Pack

What a goood bloke!!!!

Probably a closet Ford (Blood Orange) fan as well!!

He probably didn't want to put you on the alcolmeter because he didn;t want you to have to take the doilies off the back seat to put in his car if you went back to the Station for a BAS, or he thought your incontinence pads might not last and they would leak wee everywhere or you need your car to go to bowls tomorrow.

( I wanted to put a smilie thing in but I am a computer Gumby without the green arms and legs)

  • Gandalf the Grey, Maiar of Manwë and Varda, Team HgAg/Sneaky
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  • Member For: 21y 9m 25d
  • Gender: Male
  • Location: The Shire, Middle Earth
  plonky said:
What a goood bloke!!!!

Probably a closet Ford (Blood Orange) fan as well!!

He probably didn't want to put you on the alcolmeter because he didn;t want you to have to take the doilies off the back seat to put in his car if you went back to the Station for a BAS, or he thought your incontinence pads might not last and they would leak wee everywhere or you need your car to go to bowls tomorrow.

( I wanted to put a smilie thing in but I am a computer Gumby without the green arms and legs)

She was a great bloke! :nod:

And, yes, she did seem to take her time, mainly looking over my beautiful HgAg. :thumbsup:

I blew into the little white straw, but I'd only had two scotch's in 2.5 hours, so I wasn't worried about that. You're right though, I did need a pee ... :lol:

Thanks for your comments, Gumby. I'm curious, would you have booked me? :thumbsup:

  • The Bionic Man - half man-half titanium
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  • Member For: 22y 15d
  • Location: Dodge Scat Pack

How could I book a pensioner on his way back from Bingo at the Rissole.

Of course not Ken, I actually think you did the right thing!

I don't like the fact the he was a 'she', just shows you how much our job has gone down hill

Flameproof suit being put on right now!

  • Gandalf the Grey, Maiar of Manwë and Varda, Team HgAg/Sneaky
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  • Member For: 21y 9m 25d
  • Gender: Male
  • Location: The Shire, Middle Earth
  plonky said:
I don't like the fact the he was a 'she', just shows you how much our job has gone down hill

:nod:Man, is that going to come back to haunt you! :lol:

... and I thought you were an intelligent man? :sick:

  • FORD FORD FORD
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  • Member For: 22y 1m 7d
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  • Location: Victoria Point In Brissy's eastern side

As it seems all have, I too have escaped the law, been let off, cheated death, so on & so on.

this thread really makes a good read very funny all. Thought I'd recount a memorable one.

About 1995 at the Annual Queensland Club's Monaro run, I & some mates trailed down to the Gold Coasts Pacific Fair Shopping Centre where the gathering & bullsh*tting was being done. At about 8pm After listening & watching for quite some time 1 of the lads & I thought we might go for a cruise in my, wait for it,

1975 264GL Volvo Sedan, Beige of course. Stock looking, but aspirated 350 Chevrolet powerplant Turbo 350 Auto.

Anyhow's adjacent the car park on the road to Carrara in everyone's view we pull alongside some dude in his SLR 5000 replica complete with Moron look on pimpled face & teenage girlfriend, ready to show all how tough his car is by sh*tting on this sh*tty Volvo.

Lights Green & we're off, Volvo hooking up like a treat, SLR fading fast. We run through into top gear, SLR miles behind & still into it, we back off, SLR starts to catch up. All of a sudden 2 cops jump out from behind Bus stop, each with Radar guns & Fluoro Attire, my heart sinks, my legs shake, my mate starts cursing (we estimate we've hit 150kph & in deep sh*t). We cruise to a halt in front of them & SLR is motioned in behind me, 1 officer to each car, each obtain our Liscences & confer with other. My officer comes back to me & says, sorry for the delay sir, here's your Liscence & enjoy the rest of your night. We slink off as quietly as possible, come past 20 miutes later SLR still there, bonnet up, you gotta love Street sleepers. If SLR man now has XR6T & is reading this tag, I'm sorry. If not, I'm not, he he.

Scotty.

p.s. sorry about the length of tale, but it was freakin funny!!

  • 8 months later...
  • nutter
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  • Member For: 21y 3m 18d
  • Location: Wagga Wagga

well, found a thread a while ago over at SkylinesAustralia forums, and it has some good replies in it there...

link to thier thread is here...

http://www.skylinesaustralia.com/forums/sh...ead.php?t=33101

I havent got one really...

just the one time where I got a RBT, and the cop asked me if I had anything to drink tonight, dunno why but I said "no thanks im right"

but I quickly corrected myself...

  • Bored Member
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  • Member For: 22y 5m 10d
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  • Location: Dé·jà vu

This will go to the gutter pretty quick no doubt, cant wait for Plonky and VG's replies.... :pinch:

What's the dumbest thing a vacuum cleaner salesman has said to you? :w00t2:

  • Team "I don't have no Falcon now"
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  • Member For: 21y 9m 27d
  • Location: Sydney Australia

Officer: What is it? A CRX or something? Must be...... (to me whilst examining a vehicle I was driving

Me: Ahhh No actually it isn't.

Officer: Must be as this lady here (points to alledged witness) heard you doing 150.

Me: Actually its 1.3 litre Fesitva (burst into laughter at this point)

Officer: Oh.

Inverted Red Festiva on the side of the road @ midnight.

Festiva Mods -----> Midas Chrome tip (due to orignal falling off!!) 1994 Astina Driving lights, "I wish I was a V8" Sticker on hatch, and completly incapable of achieving 150km/h downhill in a slipstream vertically. :lol:

Cameron

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