Funny Kids!

[smicky]

  phantomchic said:

this thread should stick to the "Cute and funny"

so smicky .. you started it.. where's yours

Ha ha - phantomchic... sweet...... there is just far far far to many of them...

Put it this way, in not in my childhood anymore, yet still just last month decided it was a good idea to pop the left over KFC chicken in the oven as I had something to do and knew I would want to munch again in half hour or so...

So with my exceptionally high IQ level came up with a genius idea...

Take the box, warm up the oven, wack the box in on the top shelf (as the oven wasnt hot yet), leave the kitchen do a few things upstairs on the other puter and came back in 30 mins... should all be toasty and hot by then... YUM!!!!

Well needless to say about 10 mins after putting it in, I smell something that's just not chicken!

Race down stairs (sliding on my arse on the way)... rock up in the kitchen to a glowing red oven!

We didnt have deep fried chicken anymore, but rather deep fried charcoal chicken instead!

I SET THE FARKING KITCHEN ON FIRE!!!

So not a good idea to try and keep KFC warm in your oven guys and girly!

------------

As for childhood - well, being all of about 7 or 8 at the time, 3 of my brothers played grade level baseball, the team and association were looking into the concept of a u/16 team... so here I am watching my brothers KICK SOME ARSE, and then the coach rocks up and asks if I want to try out after the game in a practice match...

I'm like HELL YEAH all over that!

So grab a mitt from my bro, and as I had cricket gear in the boot of the olds car from the day before, grab the trusty protector... go back to the diamond and here it started...

Go to use the protector and realize IM WEARING BOXER SHORTS!!!

Well, about 30 mins into the game, playing 1st base a liner comes up at me, (on the ground lucky)... and away I scoot... chasing after it...

only to stop half way and hear everyone laughing... turn around and here is my hector protector on he ground as its slid down my leg and onto the ground as I was running...

I ran back to pick it up being all red and all, having no idea what to do wacked it back inside the boxer shorts only to have it happen again... Not a good thing to have happen in your first ever game of baseball in front of about 100 people!

Went on to play for roughly 12 yrs including rep level, and can wait to have my operation and find a team up here in Sydney again!

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hhhmmm - car related, decided to park my dads brand new 2 day old EFII Fairmont in the garage one day, mind u I had never sat behind the wheel of a running car before... Lets just say, mum's hand was injured and dad dived out of the way as it wasn't parked in the garage, but instead the back yard! Straight through the garage wall, taking out the 'out the back' fridge and mum's 5000$ doggie hydro spa bath thing... :( I then understood why on a steep driveway people need to use the breaks to park the car rather then and other long peddle on the right hand side...

I decided I would wait to get my license until I was about 16 after that!

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whatelse... oh yeah... one day was being a typical 12 yr with mates, showing off in the local street on the pushies... got a flat tyre... rather then replacing the rubber, decided to grad dads 2500$ road racer (was a lot of bike back then)...

As we were all trying to see who could race down the top hill of our street into the next street and to the bottom the quickest... I thought I GOT THIS IN THE BAG on this bike!!!

Well still to this day, that bike and I never made it to the bottom of that hill... :(

As I raced down the first street, I was smoking... on the corner was a parked car... went wide to get around it, and well up the hill towards me comes a 4WD...

This was my first ever experience at playing chicken.... smack! there goes the bike, and here I am... sliding down the hill... on a saturday in front of no less then about 5 of the neighbors out the front doing the lawns etc...

The rest ended in blood and tears... BUT WHAT A WINNER I LIVED TO TELL THE STORY...

yet hear about it every bloody time we have a street gathering back at the olds...

The list goes on and on and on... So think that's enough for now!

Edited 13/10/08 02:28 AM by smicky

[jsmith]

smicky, empty your inbox, wanna send a pm!

[phantomchic]

hey smicky... you busting to share those stories I think

[Ghosti]

  Grudgee said:

I hooked up with a bird that had given my mate a BJ earlier that night.

I drove drunk and crashed my 12 second VL Calais turbo wagon (original) into a tree. If I missed the tree either side, I would have killed people.

I knocked up a girl, resulting in an abortion.

I got in a knuckle and thought I'd killed a bloke.

I gambled away $8k in a night of drunken nonsense (at a time when I earned $26k a year).

Moral of the story - I can't handle my piss.

ROFL Grudgee.

I can imagine that a few of those were seriously NOT funny when they happened...

P.S. Why the name change??

Anyway, I have too many to list so I'll try to pick just 2.

Age 13, me and a mate decide to make some "napalm" by pouring turps over polystyrene (something we learned in school!). Doing this turns the polystyrene into this SUPER sticky mush that's obviously highly flammable. lolpyros

Anyway, we knew we weren't supposed to be doing it and after we spent the morning finding enough styrene to make a pile that was taller than us, we decided we needed a more discreet spot than the driveway to proceed with the melting process.

So, being a country house with some big sheds, we figure we'll do it on the roof of the shed! (flat roof, concealed from the view of Mum from the kitchen window).

All was good, made a HUGE bucket worth of this napalm mush sh*t (using 3x 5 litre containers of turps). Took it out to the back paddock dam and tipped it into a little rowboat that was floating around out there. Lit the sh*t up, WOOOT burned to the ground and sank. f*ckin' VIKING STYLE!

Fun over.

The punchline however, came about 2 days later when Mum said "the tap water smells funny". It took me about 3 seconds to click and realise that we'd poured about 15 litres of turps directly onto the shed roof, which of course ran down into the guttering and poisoned our water supply (no mains water in the country where I grew up)...

Poisons hotline was called and needless to say, our faces were very red.

One more;

Age 15, BLIND on some quality Woodstock bourbs at a party with some mates.

A car load of the clowns is heading over to get some Maccas and I'm HUNGRY!

So as they're taking off in this sh*tty old Fiesta, I run over and stick my head and arms through the left rear window and start yelling for them to bring me back 10 quarter pounders or some sh*t.

Anyway, the driver had some doof doof turned up so loud that he didn't realise I was half in/half out of the car.

So he took off as fast as the Fiesta would carry us (lol) with my legs dragging along behind me.

Everyone was screaming and yelling but it was dark and the music was cranked (sound system worth far more than the car) so he just thought they wanted him to floor it...

So he got up to about 70 clicks before my foot went half under the wheel, ripping my shoe off which was enough to make me let go and apparently cartwheel (literally) down the road for a lot longer than it actually felt at the time.

2 Broken toes, broken nose, busted lip and head, concussion, 1 wrecked shoe, 1 lost shoe and a sh*tLOAD of cuts and road rash.

Best bit is, it was right out the front of the party cos he was parked at the other end of the street. And he didn't even slow down... lol

Good times, good times.

Edited 14/10/08 04:24 AM by Ghosti

[smicky]

  1 of 5 said:

smicky, empty your inbox, wanna send a pm!

Sorry dude... Will do, so try in a few mins...

I'm a bit of a sentimental bastard, I keep everything....

  phantomchic said:

hey smicky... you busting to share those stories I think

Ha ha - sweet, ill think about it...

Ok... thought about it... and well... after this weekend I'll try to tap out a few more...

(I'm sure after today and tomorrow big b'day party in the city... there will be heaps of silly storys!)

[jsmith]

Happy b'day for today smicky, made it just in time.

[smicky]

  1 of 5 said:

Happy b'day for today smicky, made it just in time.

Thanks boss....

[turbo.vixen]

when I was in preschool I found a bong on the oval and picked it up and yelled out my mum uses one of these lol, man I got fogged big time for that

Edited 18/10/08 11:30 PM by turbo.vixen

[tab]

That explains allot

[ENVY-T]

When I was 11yo, I broke my leg quite badly resulting in a cast from my hip to my toes. So heres poor defencless me talking to mates when a grede 6er (I was in grade 4) came up behind and dacked me! Down to skin and I couldn't bend over to pull them up!! So I was standing there flapping in the wind for a good minute or so till I got em up.

The retribution to that incident was me calmy limping over to him the next day with my wooden crutches with those big ar$e wing nuts. I said there were no hard feelings, then calmy smashed him in the back of the knees leaving a nice wingnut shaped cut.

Move along to year 7 and sitting in class, this silly silly fvcker sitting behind me kept hitting me in the back of the head with one of those steel edged 40cm wooden rulers. I warned him 3 times and on the 4th I said if he did it again I would stab him with my compass. He laughed at me and said sure! 2 seconds later the fvcker was upright with his desk still wrapped to his waist and compass sticking out of his shin, true true storey.

I may sound like a royal cvnt, but I was bullied pretty bloody seriously at primary and secondry and sometimes I just snapped, and those episodes gave me 2-3 weeks bully free, as the sods tried to work out if I was the next Charles Manson or not.