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The Off Topic Thread.


KEN 24T

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:veryangry: WTF is a STAN MISMATCH....friggin eftpos machine had me farting round in the servo for 20 minutes trying to pay for fuel... :turboboink:

Unauthorized transaction my butt hole... :shakefist:

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There is an old Hotel/Pub in Marble Arch, London , which used to have a gallows adjacent to it. Prisoners were taken to the gallows, (after a fair trial of course) to be hung. The horse drawn dray, carting the prisoner, was accompanied by an armed guard, who would stop the dray outside the pub and ask the prisoner if he would like ''ONE LAST DRINK''. If he said YES, it was referred to as “ONE FOR THE ROAD”. If he declined, that prisoner was “ON THE WAGON”. So there you go. More bleeding history.

They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken & sold to the tannery. If you had to do this to survive you were, "Piss Poor", but worse than that, were the really poor folk, who couldn’t even afford to buy a pot, they "Didn’t have a pot to Piss in" & were the lowest of the low. The next time you are washing your hands and complain, because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be.

Here are some facts about the 1500’s: Most people got married in June, because they took their yearly bath in May and they still smelled pretty good by June. However, since they were starting to smell, brides carried a bouquet of flowers, to hide the body odour. Hence the custom today, of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water!"

Houses had thatched roofs, thick straw piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs." There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom, where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top, afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence. The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, "Dirt Poor." The wealthy had slate floors, that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh, until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way. Hence: a thresh hold. (Getting quite an education, aren't you?)

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle, that always hung over the fire. Every day, they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight, then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme: ''Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot, nine days old''. Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon, to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "Bring home the Bacon." They would cut off a little, to share with guests and would all sit around talking and ''Chew the fat''.

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning & death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous. Bread was divided, according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or ''The Upper Crust''. Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination, would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road, would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of ''Holding a Wake''.

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So, they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, thread it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell.

Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night, (the graveyard shift) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, ''Saved by the Bell '' or was considered a ''Dead Ringer''

And that's the truth. Now, whoever said History was boring ! ! !

So . . . get out there and educate someone! Share these facts with a friend, like I just did! ! !

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Travelled from Bris to GC and back today, yet again

censored.gif attn all drivers in South East Qld . get farking left you farking kentsbottom.gifbottom.gif

M1 north and south RH lanes Bris - GC in 110k zone travelling at 80ks for no reason both ways. Farking obnoxious & ignorant toss pots.

If they were house trailers unable to change lanes I could almost excuse them.almost omg1.gif

and , why can't people drive along Musgrave/Waterworks roads at more than 35-45ks. Either directioncrybaby.gif

The run up the hill from Noonan's to the skate arena is surely a tad more fun at 60ksblush.gif

Having spent the last 15 years living and travelling around the country, the general populace in SEQ are by far the most frustrating and inconsiderate drivers I have encountered. I lived in Brissie for most of my life. Returning I am shocked at how insular and oblivious most people are.

Genearlly speaking it's true what the rest of the world says about the brain speed of Qlders. Slow and farking stopped.stirthepot.gif

If my RPG does not arrive in the next 7 days as promised , the Phoon is gone and I'm buying an Eco sports car.

Farking Prius with direct brown vinegar injection.

Where's me farking dinnercrybaby.gifcrybaby.gifcrybaby.gif

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:leghump: nice one mate. Btw the beach just called they wanted to know when they could get the sand that's in your pants back
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