The Off Topic Thread.

[xr0500]

Got my Kevin money!!!!!!!!!!

Who else got theirs????

[EZ2CME]

Still waiting on mine.

[RHR]

So I see the usual suspects have been tearing it up on here yet again. Good to see the goat fettish alive and well.

No money from uncle kev here... Tight arse

So why ya selling ya car??

[Ace]

dads cheque arrived in the mail yesterday but mine did not

[Kimberley Scott]

From another forum

Don't Shave That Ass Hair!!!

I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble sh*tting.

No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling. Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can't-Be-Flushed threshold.

I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey! This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK. "There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.

I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occassionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

Little did I know.

I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for a taxi. After decending two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get a beer. Its ok, I thought, Eventually it would dry.

Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic sh*t- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after my beer, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky sh*t/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my room, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the room.

Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering sh*t/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of wet turd from my greasy brown eye. It didnt help that I'd been eating thai food and for the rest of my holiday I was constantly fearful of letting out a spicy fart knowing it would not only burn my now sore ass hole but fill my underwear with an uncomfortable sh*tty moisture that I rubbed against my legs, chaffing and slowly releasing a sickening stench where-ever I wondered.

Poor lad

Edited 10/04/09 03:30 AM by Kimberley Scott

[Ace]

[typhoon_freak]

hahaha what the?

[mercuryturbo]

[RHR]

so what did we learn today ppl.. Dont shave your arse hair.

Scotty where the fark do you find this crap

[Kimberley Scott]

http://www.megavideo.com/?v=YW0JLAK5