Joke Of The Day

[aniken]

Another Team HgAg meeting

Bloody Vader ate all the lamintons again!

Aniken! You haven't deserted Team Blueprint? Ken those lamingtons must be good.

Damn, caught :o

Don't worry, I'm no deserter (although I do like ice cream). No, you see, whilst the camera captured me on film, I was actually using my powers to control the feeble minds of those Team HgAg folk. All they saw was a coat rack draped with cardigans and bowling hats, which obviously was not out of place in the slightest.

I picked up much useful information, to be shared with Team Blueprint members in due course. And the group sex/jelly wrestling session was quite an eye opener...

[Guest petrol_dan]

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!"

The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?"

One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy sh*t! A talking chicken!'"

[Guest petrol_dan]

Three men were talking about their teenage daughters:

The first says "I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day and found a packet of cigarettes. I didn't even know she smoked".

The second says "That's nothing. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day when I came across a full bottle of Vodka. I was really shocked as I didn't even know she drank".

Then the third speaks up. "Both of you have got nothing to worry about. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day and I found a packet of condoms. I was really shocked. I didn't even know she had a pen*s".

[Guest petrol_dan]

While I was flying down the road yesterday (only 15 mph over), Inoticed a cop with a radar gun sitting on top of a bridge. Naturally, hepulled me over, walked up to the car and asked me, "What's the hurry?"

I replied, "I'm late for work."

"Oh yeah," said the cop. "What do you do?"

"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.

The cop said, "What?.... A rectum stretcher? What does a rectum stretcher DO?"

I said, "Well, I start with one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then my whole hand. Then I work until I can get both hands in there, and then I slowly stretch it until it's about 6 foot wide."

The cop asked me, "What the hell do you do with a 6 foot ass hole?"

I simply replied, " You give him a radar gun and park him on top of a bridge....."

[Guest petrol_dan]

A man walks into a bar, after buying a beer he looks around the bar and sees three men and a dog playing cards. Amazed, the man wanders over and starts watching the game. Aftere watching the game for ten minutes, the man leans over to one of the other player's and whispers " Wow, that's a really smart dog!".

The man whispers backs "He isn't that smart, every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail!"

[Falchoon]

God has a message for you

[XRSICKT]

Frank was excited about his new rifle and decided to try bear hunting.

He travels up to Alaska, spots a small brown bear and shoots it.

Right after, there was a tap on his shoulder and he turned around to see a

big black bear.

The black bear said, "That was a very bad mistake. That was my cousin and

I'm going to give you two choices.

Either I maul you to death or we have sex."

After considering briefly, Frank decided to accept the latter alternative.

So the black bear has his way with Frank. Even though he felt sore for two

weeks, Frank soon recovered and vowed revenge.

He headed out on another trip back to Alaska where he found the black bear

and shot it dead. Immediately there was another tap on his shoulder. This

time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him.

The grizzly said, "That was a big mistake, Frank.

That was my cousin and you've got two choices. Either I maul you to death or

we have rough sex."

Again, Frank thought it was better to cooperate with the grizzly bear than

be mauled to death.

So the grizzly has his way with Frank. Although he survived, it took several

months before Frank fully recovered.

Now Frank is completely outraged, so he headed back to Alaska and managed to

track down the grizzly bear and shot it.

He felt sweet revenge, but then, moments later, there was a tap on his

shoulder. He turned around to find a giant polar bear standing there.

Wait for it

.

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.

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The polar bear looked at him and said, "Admit it Frank, you don't come here

for the hunting, do you?"

[XRSICKT]

Potential Brides

Mailorderbrides.doc

[Falchoon]

Any of them would be a good match for the guy in VG's Avatar!

[KEN 24T]

Ken those lamingtons must be good.

:banghead:

It's the coconut .. that's all I'm saying. :o