Joke Of The Day

[XRSICKT]

4. How did he do it?

[BlueXR6Turbo]

I have a few brain teasers here, see if you can work them out, post your comments/answers and I'll post the answers in a few day when everyone's had a go...

1. The last person took the basket with one egg in it.

2. His name was on his uniform, or one of the other men called him "John".

3. Pour the 2nd glass of OJ into the fith glass.

4. The guy lived in a lighthouse and he caused a shipwreck.

Sorry if I spoiled all your fun XRSICKT.

[Dagabond]

One day when the teacher walked into the classroom, she noticed that

someone had written the word 'pen*s' (in tiny letters) on the blackboard.

She scanned the class looking for a guilty face. Finding none, she rubbed

the word off and began class. The next day, the word 'pen*s' was written

on the board again; this time it was written about halfway across the

board. Again she looked around in vain for the culprit, so she proceeded

with the day's lesson. Every morning for about a week, she went into the

classroom and found the same disgusting word written on the board, each

day's being larger than the previous one, and each being rubbed off

vigorously. At the end of the second week, she walked in expecting to be

greeted by the same word on the board but instead found the words: "The

more you rub it, the bigger it gets."

[Dagabond]

This is a most unusual paragraph. How quickly can you find out

what is so unusual about it? It looks so ordinary, you'd think

nothing was wrong with it and in fact, nothing is wrong with it.

It IS unusual, why? Study it. Think about it and you may find

out. Try to do it without coaching. If you work at it for a bit,

it will dawn on you. So jump to it! Try your skill at figuring it

out! Good Luck - Don't blow your cool!

Answer below......NO FAIR LOOKING AHEAD EITHER..

(I'm WATCHING YOU!!! )

I CAUGHT YOU !!!....DO YOU HAVE THE ANSWER?

GOOOOOO BACK and look AGAIN....

GAVE UP THAT FAST HUH ??? Brain NOT working today ???

Ohhhhhhh....So NOW you have the correct answer....?????

YOU THINK ??? hehehehe Are you really sure about that ????

Not too late to rethink your answer now.....

HEY.....Don't SAY I didn't GIVE YOU ANOTHER CHANCE HERE!!!!

Okay!!

This WAY To........ the ANSWER!!!!!!!

There is not one letter "E" in the whole paragraph!

[Dagabond]

Interplanetary Musings

Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?

When describing the Universe what do you compare it to?

If the universe is infinite does it mean that everything that can exist already does?

What is in the 'space' NOT occupied by the expanding universe?

Is the universe friendly?

If they're mapping the universe, how big is the piece of paper?

Do you think the Miss Universe pageant is fixed? After all, when was the last time someone from other than Earth won it?

Have you ever wondered if maybe our universe is one of many universes revolving around one giant universe in a universe solar system?

Why is it you only hear about parallel universes? What about all of the perpendicular and adjacent universes?

Is Earth the insane asylum for the Universe?

Isn't the Earth just like a tiny grain of sand only much much heavier?

Most books now say our sun is a star. How is it that it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime?

Why is it that when people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy but when planets do it we say they are orbiting?

Why do all the moons of all other planets have a name but ours is just called plain old 'moon'?

If fire needs oxygen to burn and there is no oxygen in outer space how does the sun burn?

If they find life on Mars, will it taste like chicken as well?

Have you ever considered that language just might be a virus from outer space?

Werewolves are people that change into wolves during the full moon, right? Well, what if a werewolf became an astronaut and landed on the moon?

If we encountered an alien species as intelligent as we are how would we recognize it?

If Aliens exist and they have technologies far in advance of our own why would they be able to travel millions of light years across the universe unharmed only to crash on Earth?

Did somebody in the future invent a time machine go back in time and visit the cavemen and tell them to draw all those pictures of men in space suites on their cave walls so that many years later they will freak out archaeologists and UFO hunters?

What do you call a UFO after it has landed?

If aliens are smart enough to travel through space, why do they keep abducting the dumbest people on Earth?

Why are the only people to get a photo of an alien or UFO really bad with a camera?

[Dagabond]

Sometimes we just need to remember what the 12 Rules of Life really are:

1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.

2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.

3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are "I apologize" and "you are right."

4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

5. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.

6. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her - believe them.

7. Learn to pick your battles; ask yourself, "Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?"

8. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.

9. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

10. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you.

11. Work is good, but it's not that important. Money is nice, but you can't take it with you. Statistics show most people don't live to spend all they saved; some die even before they retire. Anything we have isn't really ours; it was given to us by God; He just let's us borrow it while we're here... even our kids.

12. And finally... Be really good to your family and/or friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.

[KEN 24T]

3. Glasses of OJ

Tip the contents of glass #2 into glass #5?

[Falchoon]

A guy was riding down the road when he saw a pretty young lady standing with her thumb out. The driver pulled over and offered her a ride. She got in, and they started driving.

"My name is June Hanson," she said

"My name is Gene Snow," he replied. They rode on for a while in silence.

"Why do you keep sizing me up?" she asked after a while.

"I was just wondering what it would be like to have eight inches of Snow in June."

[chrislak]

--- Tiger Woods in Ireland ---

On a golf tour in Ireland , Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol

station in a remote part of the Irish countryside.

The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him

in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro

is. "Top of the mornin' to yer, sir" says the attendant.

Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle.

As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.

"What are those?, asks the attendant.

"They're called tees" replies Tiger.

"Well, what on the god's earth are dey for?" inquires the Irishman.

"They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving", says Tiger.

"Fookin Jaysus", says the Irishman, "BMW thinks of everything!".

[aniken]

Bob must be one mean mutha :lol:

Strong Language Warning