Joke Of The Day

[Falchoon]

Australia get sh*tfaced

AUSTRALIA_GETS_DRUNK.doc

[Falchoon]

This one is for all of you who either:

a) have kids

B) had kids who have now grown

c) was a kid

d) know a kid!

As I was trying to pack for a business trip, my 3-year-old daughter was

having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point, she said, "Dad,

look at this," and stuck out two of her fingers. Trying to keep her

entertained, I reached out and stuck her fingers in my mouth and said,

"Daddy's gonna eat your fingers!" pretending to eat them before I rushed

out

of the room again. When I returned, my daughter was standing on the bed

staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face.

I said, "What's wrong honey?"

She replied, "What happened to my booger?"

[XRSICKT]

She replied, "What happened to my booger?"

mmmmm, yum

[Guest]

I think Britney has got it now!

[XRSICKT]

I'm sure Falchoon would be more than happy to take it back out again

[Falchoon]

Only if she asked me nicely... :licklips:

[aniken]

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. "Hurry!" she said, "Stand in the corner."

She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. "Don't move until I tell you to,"she whispered. "Just pretend you're a statue."

"What's this, honey?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.

"Oh, it's just a statue," she replied nonchalantly. "The Smiths bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for us too."

No more was said about the statue, not even later that night when they went to sleep. Around two in the morning the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of milk.

"Here," he said to the 'statue,' "eat something. I stood like an idiot at the Smiths' for three days, and nobody offered me as much as a glass of water."

[aniken]

A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated.

As he examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, who was about to be cremated, he made an amazing discovery: Schwartz had the longest pen!s he had ever seen!

"I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," said the mortician, "but I can't send you off to be cremated with a tremendously huge pen!s like this. It has to be saved for posterity." And with that the coroner used his tools to remove the dead man's schlong.

The coroner stuffed his prize into a briefcase and took it home. The first person he showed was his wife. "I have something to show you that you won't believe," he said, and opened his briefcase.

"Oh my God!" She screamed, "Schwartz is dead!"

[Turbo6man]

aniken> You and I seem to be common addressees in someone's address book ... heheheh.

[aniken]

aniken> You and I seem to be common addressees in someone's address book ... heheheh.

Could be :D

I got given a CD full of the stuff - jokes, pics, you name it. So we could be here a very long time :lol:

Another one (this could apply to a few people round here):

Dear Wife...

I'm sending you this email to bring up to date on the events of our family. I tried to talk to you while you were on your computer,but you just kept telling me that you would BRB.....whatever that means. So, I decided to send you this email.

John Jr. cut his first tooth today. He's the one you bounce on your knee while typing. Remember how he giggles when he hears the Ut Oh sound? Sorry about him dropping his peanut butter sandwich on your keyboard. Is it working okay since I cleaned it up for you? Can you read the letters I tried to paint back on your keyboard? Most of them had been rubbed off.

Susie had her first date Saturday night. She had a good time and said to thank you for letting them use your car. She put the keys back on the key rack underneath the cobwebs where she found them. Do you realize that she wears the same size clothes as you do? In case you've forgotten her, she's the one who has you raise your feet when she's running the sweeper.

Tim is playing football. He looks forward to going to school now that he has a sport to play. He wanted to know if you would come to one of his games if we bought you a laptop to bring along? Do you remember him? He's the one who empties your porta potty for you.

Lets see.....since the last time I wrote you (3 months ago), the refrigerator had to be replaced, the dog died from old age, your mother and dad painted the room where your computer is (hope you like the color), the church has a new pastor, the President has been impeached, and oh yes.....I have a new job.

Well, I think that's about it. I'll email you again in about 3 months.You take care of yourself honey. We all "miss" you very much and will see you the next time the power goes off!

Love,Your Husband >>