XRSICKT Member 1,032 Member For: 21y 8m 21d Gender: Male Location: Sydney Posted 13/09/03 03:40 AM Author Share Posted 13/09/03 03:40 AM 2 poofs having sex when the house catches on fire! which one gets out of the house first? the one on top or the one on the bottom??Give up? The one on the bottom,cause hes already got his sh*t packed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aniken I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it Donating Members 4,316 Member For: 22y 16d Gender: Male Location: Sydney, south west Posted 14/09/03 12:11 AM Share Posted 14/09/03 12:11 AM Where would we be without the internet... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aniken I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it Donating Members 4,316 Member For: 22y 16d Gender: Male Location: Sydney, south west Posted 14/09/03 12:14 AM Share Posted 14/09/03 12:14 AM I wonder if this also happens where CJF077 works? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aniken I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it Donating Members 4,316 Member For: 22y 16d Gender: Male Location: Sydney, south west Posted 14/09/03 12:16 AM Share Posted 14/09/03 12:16 AM scary movie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Disgruntled Goat Member 98 Member For: 21y 8m 4d Posted 15/09/03 09:07 AM Share Posted 15/09/03 09:07 AM This is just freaky > > > > > >DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST > > > > > >It takes less than a minute....... > > > > > >Work this out as you read. > > > > > >Don't cheat and read the bottom until you've worked through it! > > > > > >This is fun! > > > > > >1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like tohave >dinner out. (try for more than once but less than 10) > > > > > >2.. Multiply this number by 2 (Just to be bold) > > > > > > > > > >3. Add 5. (Just because) > > > > > > > > > >4. Multiply it by 50 - I'll wait while you get the >calculator................. > > > > > > > > > >5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1753.... If you >haven't, add 1752.......... > > > > > > > > > >6.. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born. > > > > > > > > > > >You should have a three digit number ... > > > > > > > > > > > >The first digit of this was your original number > >(How many times you want to eat out each week.) > > > > > > > > > >The next two numbers are... > > > > > > > > > > >YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it IS!!!!!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turbo6man Lifetime Members 4,084 Member For: 22y 2m 26d Gender: Male Location: South Coast NSW Posted 15/09/03 09:37 AM Share Posted 15/09/03 09:37 AM FEMALE PRAYERBefore I lay me down to sleep,I pray for a man, who's not a creep.One who's handsome, smart and strong.One who loves to listen long.One who thinks before he speaks.When he says he'll call, he won't wait weeks.I pray that he is gainfully employed.When I spend his cash, he won't be annoyed.Pulls out my chair and opens my door.Massages my back and begs to do more.Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,Knows what to answer to "How big is my behind?"I pray that this man will love me to no end,And never attempt to hit on my friend. Amen..MALE PRAYER:I pray for a deaf mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store and a boat. Amen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Falchoon I see red Member 5,758 Member For: 22y 19d Location: nowhere in particular Posted 15/09/03 12:37 PM Share Posted 15/09/03 12:37 PM In Pharmacology all drugs have two names, a trade name and a generic name.For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has the generic name of Acetominophen. Aleve is called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen. The FDA has been looking fore a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of mycoxafloppin, Also considered were mycoxafailin, mydixadrupin, mydixadud, dixafix and of course ibepokin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charliewool Member 375 Member For: 21y 11m 14d Location: Melbourne Posted 15/09/03 12:59 PM Share Posted 15/09/03 12:59 PM A Mad scientist invents a self lubricating vagina, takes it home and gives to his wife... She asks, "what am I supposed to do with this"? He replies.. "teach it cook & F*** off" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plonky The Bionic Man - half man-half titanium Member 1,766 Member For: 21y 8m 27d Location: Dodge Scat Pack Posted 16/09/03 12:22 AM Share Posted 16/09/03 12:22 AM OK.Two Telecom line workers were out in the middle of the desert and had been so for a number of weeks. One line worker was feeling very toey and said to the other one "Damn I'm toey! It's going to be weeks before we see any female action, how about we give it a try....you know, the Cadbury Canal, the Hershey Highway etc"The second line worker said "No thanks!Two more weeks went by and the first line worker said to the second line worker " I can't stand this any longer! How about we give it a go and if you don't like it just make a noise like an animal and I'll stop. If you do happen to like it, just sing a song so I know I can keep going"The second guy said " Oh, OK"So the two blokes got their act together and just as the first guy punched a new hole the second guy let out a big..." Mooo", " Mooo""Mooooon River, higher than a sea......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grant Member 453 Member For: 22y 1m 3d Location: Kurrajong, Sydney Posted 16/09/03 01:25 AM Share Posted 16/09/03 01:25 AM Notes From An Inexperienced Curry Taster Named FRANK, who was visitingPhoenix, Durban, South Africa from the U.S. "Recently I was honoured to beselected as a judge at a curry cook-off. The original person called insick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge'stable asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured bythe other two judges (couple of local Indians) that the curry wouldn't be allthat spicy, and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted.Here are the scorecards from the event:________________________________________Curry # 1: Manoj's Maniac Mobster Monster CurryJUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavour. Very mild.FRANK: Holy sh*t, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove driedpaint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hopethat's the worst one. These Indian fellows are crazy.__________________________________________Curry # 2: Applesamy's Afterburner CurryJUDGE ONE: Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavour, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am supposedto taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give methe Heimlich manoeuvre. They had to rush in more beer when they saw thelook on my face.___________________________________________Curry # 3: Farouk's Famous Burn Down the Barn curryJUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse curry! Great kick. Needs more beans.JUDGE TWO: A beanless curry, a bit salty, good use of red peppers.FRANK: Call Colesburg, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like Ihave been snorting Domestos. Everyone knows the routine by now, get memore beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone isin the front part of my chest. I'm getting sh*t-faced from all the beer.__________________________________________Curry # 4: Barbu's Black MagicJUDGE ONE: Black bean curry with almost no spice. Disappointing.JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish orother mild foods, not much of a curry.FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to tasteit, is it possible to burn-out taste buds? Savathree, the bar maid, wasstanding behind me with fresh refills; that 300 lb. b**ch is starting tolook HOT, just like this nuclear waste I'm eating. Is curry anaphrodisiac?____________________________________________Curry # 5: Laveshnee's Legal Lip RemoverJUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong curry. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, addingconsiderable kick. Very impressive.JUDGE TWO: Curry using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admitthe cayenne peppers make a strong statement.FRANK: My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can nolonger focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed hospitaltreatment. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her curryhad given me brain damage. Savathree saved my tongue from bleeding by pouringbeer directly on it from a pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off?It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stopscreaming.___________________________________________Curry # 6: Vera's Very Vegetarian VarietyJUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety curry. Good balance of spiceand peppers.JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic.Superb.FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous,sulphuric flames. I sh*t myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eatthrough the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that*beep* Savathree, she must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lipsanymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone!____________________________________________Curry # 7: Sugash's Screaming Sensation CurryJUDGE ONE: A mediocre curry with too much reliance on canned peppers.JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of currypeppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about JudgeNumber 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursinguncontrollably.FRANK: You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn'tfeel a damn thing. I've lost the sight in one eye, and the world soundslike it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with curry which slidunnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like sh*t to match mydamn shirt. At least during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I'vedecided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Screw it, I'm not getting anyoxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4 inch holein my stomach.____________________________________________Curry # 8: Hansraj's Mount Saint CurryJUDGE ONE: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend curry, safe for all, nottoo bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good, balanced curry, neither mild norhot.Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3 passedout,fell over and pulled the curry pot down on top of himself. Not sure ifhe's going to make it. Poor Yank, wonder how he'd have reacted to a really hotcurry?FRANK: --------------(editor's note: Judge #3 was unable to report) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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