Joke Of The Day

[KEN 24T]

Have a go at this poor sod........

Wonder who he pi$$ed off :D

This one's been done Al, and there were some (nasty) comments about me!

[Turbo6man]

Betty Sue passes away and Billy-Bob calls the emergency number for help. The operator says she will send someone right away and asks Billy-Bob for his address.

"At the end of Eucalyptus Drive", replies Billy-Bob.

The operator asks, "Can you spell that please?"

There is a long pause before Billy-Bob's answer comes back, " How about I drag her over to Oak Street and you can pick her up there?"

[aniken]

"Eleven Reasons E-mail Is Like A Pen!s"

1. Those who have it would be devastated if it was ever cut off.

2. Those who have it think that those who don't are somehow inferior.

3. Those who don't have it may agree that it's neat, but think it's not worth the fuss that those who have it make about it.

4. Many of those who don't have it would like to try it, a phenomenon psychologists call e-mail Envy.

5. It's more fun when it's up, but this makes it hard to get any real work done.

6. In the distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it mostly for fun.

7. If you don't take proper precautions, it can spread viruses.

8. If you use it too much, you'll find it becomes more and more difficult to think coherently.

9. We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and influence warrant.

10. If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you into a lot of trouble.

11. If you play with it too much, you may go blind.

[aniken]

Bob: You know, I just found out that Carl, the attendant at the gas station, was a former porn star.

Steve: Well that explains it then.

Bob: Explains what?

Steve: Why he always pulls the nozzle out and sprays the car when it's almost full...

[aniken]

Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a local neighbourhood tavern. Late in the evening the officer noticed a man leaving the pub so intoxicated he could barely walk. He stumbled around the carpark for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five vehicles, the man managed to find his own car, in which he fell into.

He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine, dry night), flicked the indicators on then off, tooted the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little, and then remained stationery for a few more minutes as more vehicles left. At last he pulled out of the carpark and started to drive slowly down the road.

The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a breathalyser test. But to his amazement, the breathalyser indicated no evidence of the man having consumed alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyser equipment must be broken."

"I doubt it," said the man, "tonight I'm the designated decoy".

[Turbo6man]

Rules for playing Bedroom Golf

1. The Player will furnish his own equipment for play, normally one club and two balls

2. The Owner of the Course must approve equipment before play may begin

3. Unlike regular golf, the object of the game is to get the club into the hole while keeping the

balls out

4. For most effective play the club should have a firm shaft - the Course Owner may check the

stiffness of the shaft before allowing play to commence

5. The Owner reserves the right to restrict the shaft length to avoid damage to the Course

6. Players are encouraged to provide proper rain gear for their protection

7. Players are cautioned to play the correct hole as indicated by the Course Owner

8. It is considered bad form to commence playing the hole immediately upon arriving at the

Course - experienced players will take time to familiarise themselves with the layout, admire

the Course, and to compliment the Owner on its finer aspects

9. It is also poor ettiquette for players to mention other courses they have played - in fact this can

be downright detrimental as Course Owners have been known to damage player’s equipment

for doing this

10. The Player is to take as many strokes as possible until the Course Owner is satisfied

11. Slow play is encouraged - however players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace if

requested to do so by the Owner of the Course

12. It is considered outstanding form to play the hole several times in one match

13. The Course Owner shall be the judge of who is the best player

14. It is considered bad form to reveal your score to other players - or even that you have played

the Course

15. Players should not assume a course is suitable for play at all times - when a course is found to

be temporarily out of repair advanced players will find alternative means of play

16. Players should assure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled - previous

players may become irate if they discover another player on what they might consider to be

their own private Course

[XR6PSI]

Not a joke but it's a yet another flash game on that InterWeb thing......"D'oh"!

Curve Ball

Enjoy.

Level 6: 17055

Level 7: 19740

level 7 20580

[Macktheknife]

Forgive me if this has been done. Just too lazey to check back.

Fred & Charlie were watching an old Blue Heeler licking his lipstick with gusto.

"Crikey" says Charlie. "I wish I could do that"

"Better pat im first" says Fred, "he might bite"

[HellionXR6T]

Here I go again, yet another amusing 'java' waste of time game.

Javanoid...Have some fun

Have fun.

[KEN 24T]

Here I go again, yet another amusing 'java' waste of time game.

Javanoid...Have some fun

Have fun.

1030 :(