Chaos310 Donating Members 228 Member For: 12y 4m 1d Gender: Male Posted 23/06/13 11:17 AM Share Posted 23/06/13 11:17 AM Some girl gets a vibrator and it's seen as a bit of naughty fun... but when I ordered my 240Volt f*ckMaster Pro5000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed revolving pussy, elasticated anus with imitation sh*t dribble and breast nipple discharge, non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built in realistic rape scream sound system, I'm apparently a dirty f*cking pervert! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panda Eyes flame magnet Gold Donating Members 5,674 Member For: 16y 7m 17d Gender: Male Location: adelaide hills- 'race air' central Posted 23/06/13 12:20 PM Share Posted 23/06/13 12:20 PM that's a bit rough... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaos310 Donating Members 228 Member For: 12y 4m 1d Gender: Male Posted 23/06/13 12:36 PM Share Posted 23/06/13 12:36 PM that's a bit rough...sexist almost! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timmy Massive Tool Donating Members 567 Member For: 16y 3m 20d Gender: Male Posted 24/06/13 09:53 AM Share Posted 24/06/13 09:53 AM Women who don't like oral sex need to shut their mouths. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaos310 Donating Members 228 Member For: 12y 4m 1d Gender: Male Posted 24/06/13 11:30 AM Share Posted 24/06/13 11:30 AM Dear Technical Support,18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2, which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9. Successive versions of GirlFriend proved no better.I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks. Eventually, I tried to run GirlFriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware.I eventually upgraded to Fiancée 1.0, only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus and Cleanhouse2005.Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them. Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Multi-Whinge. These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is. Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week. Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Saab93 Convertible hard drive, it often crashes. Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw, which can't be turned off.Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2005, but I've been told there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2005, it tends to delete all of your Money before uninstalling itself.Any advice would be helpful, many thanks 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panda Eyes flame magnet Gold Donating Members 5,674 Member For: 16y 7m 17d Gender: Male Location: adelaide hills- 'race air' central Posted 24/06/13 11:39 AM Share Posted 24/06/13 11:39 AM too long to be bothered to read. is it funny? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corzza 777 Member 7,135 Member For: 15y 11m 1d Gender: Male Location: Neutral Bay. Born and Bred in the RSA Posted 25/06/13 05:17 AM Share Posted 25/06/13 05:17 AM An old man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the movie theater.When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man, "Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one seat."The old man just groaned but didn't budge.The usher became more impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager."Once again, the old man just groaned.The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager.Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the old disheveled man, but with no success.Finally they summoned the police.The officer surveyed the"Where ya from, Fred?" asked the police officer.With terrible pain in his voice, and without moving a muscle, Fred replied, " The balcony" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corzza 777 Member 7,135 Member For: 15y 11m 1d Gender: Male Location: Neutral Bay. Born and Bred in the RSA Posted 25/06/13 05:29 AM Share Posted 25/06/13 05:29 AM Chaos good one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ms700 Moderating Team 10,170 Member For: 21y 11m 2d Gender: Male Location: Sydney Posted 25/06/13 06:21 AM Share Posted 25/06/13 06:21 AM I got a new party trick!I swallow two pieces of string, and a hour later they come out my @ss tied togetherI $hit you knot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corzza 777 Member 7,135 Member For: 15y 11m 1d Gender: Male Location: Neutral Bay. Born and Bred in the RSA Posted 26/06/13 04:40 AM Share Posted 26/06/13 04:40 AM One December day we found an old straggly cat at our door. She was a sorry sight.Starving, dirty, smelled terrible, skinny, and hair all matted down.. We felt sorry for her so we put her in a carrier and took her to the vet.We didn't know what to call her so we named her 'Pussycat.'The vet decided to keep her for a day or so.He said he would let us know when we could come and get her. My husband (the complainer) said, 'OK, butDON'T FORGET TO WASH HER, SHE STINKS.' He reminded the vet that it was his WIFE (me) that wanted the dirty cat, not him. My husband and my Vet don't see eye to eye.The vet calls my husband 'EL-CHEAP-O', and my husband calls the vet 'EL-CHARGE-O'. They love to hate each other and constantly 'snipe' at one another,with my husband getting in the last word on this particular occasion. The next day my husband had an appointment with his doctor,who is located in the same building, next door to the vet. The GP's waiting room and office was full of people waiting to see the doctor.A side door opened and the vet leaned in - he had obviously seen my husband arrive. He looked straight at my husband and in a loud voice said, 'Your wife's pussy doesn't stink any more.We washed and shaved it, and now she smells like a rose!Oh, and, by the way, I think she's pregnant!God only knows who the father is!'Then he closed the door.The silence was deafening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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