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Joke Of The Day


XRSICKT

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  • Member For: 13y 1m 18d
  • Gender: Male

Hey Ralph, I don't understand.

My first "juvenile & mildly offensive" joke about beastiality, you don't remove & just ask if I'm a Queenslander.

But my second "juvenile & mildly offensive" joke about homosexuals prompted you to delete them both and tell me that they were juvenile and offensive...... Did I hit a nerve?

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  • 777
  • Member
  • Member For: 15y 11m 1d
  • Gender: Male
  • Location: Neutral Bay. Born and Bred in the RSA

Three Irishmen are sitting in the pub window seat,

watching the front door of the brothel over the road.

The local Methodist pastor appears, and quickly goes inside.

"Would you look at that!" says the first Irishman.

"Didn't I always say what a bunch of hypocrites they are?"

No sooner are the words out of his mouth than a Rabbi appears at the door,knocks, and goes inside.

"Another one trying to fool everyone with pious preaching and stupid hats!"

They continue drinking their beer roundly condemning the vicar and the rabbi when they see their own Catholic priest knock on the door.

"Ah, now dat's sad." says the third Irishman.

"One of the girls must have died.”

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  • 777
  • Member
  • Member For: 15y 11m 1d
  • Gender: Male
  • Location: Neutral Bay. Born and Bred in the RSA

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for

answered prayers. Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said,

"I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck

and his scr*tum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors

didn't know if they could help him."

You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine

the pain that poor Tom must have experienced.

"Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused

him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it

turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scr*tum,

and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."

Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they

imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom.

"Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Tom is out of the

hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scr*tum should recover completely."

All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if

anyone else had something to say.

A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.

He said, "I'm Tom Smith." The entire congregation held its breath.

"I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum."

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