Joke Of The Day

[Corzza]

It was Postman Pat's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same villages and towns.

When he arrived at the first house on his round, he was greeted by the whole family, who hugged and congratulated and sent him on his way with a cheque for $100. At the second house they presented him with an 18-carat gold watch. The people at the third house handed him a bottle of 15 year old scotch.

At the fourth house he was met by a blonde in her nightie. She took him upstairs to the bedroom where she gave him the most mind blowing sex he had ever had. When they finished they went downstairs and she made a full English breakfast and poured him a cup of coffee, as she was pouring the coffee Pat noticed that sticking out from under the saucer was a five dollar bill.

Pat said "Well all this is just too wonderful for words, but what's the fiver for".

"Well," said the blonde "last night I told my husband that today would be your last day and that we should do something special for you, so I asked him what I should give you." and he said "F@$%k him! Give him a fiver."

She smiled shyly and said, "But the breakfast was all my idea".

[Corzza]

A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds, so the community could become used to a new doctor.

At the first house a woman complains, 'I've been a little

sick to my stomach.'

The older doctor says, 'Well, you've probably been overdoing

the fresh fruit. Why not cut back on the amount you've been eating and see if that does the trick?'

As they left, the younger man said, 'You didn't even examine

that woman? How'd you come to the diagnosis so quickly?'

'I didn't have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there? When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half dozen banana peels in the trash. That was what probably was making her sick.'

'Huh,' the younger doctor said. 'Pretty clever. I think I'll

try that at the next house.'

Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with a younger woman. She complained that she just didn't have the energy she once did and said, 'I'm feeling terribly run down lately.'

'You've probably been doing too much work for the Church,' the younger doctor told her. 'Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps.'

As they left, the elder doctor said, 'I know that woman well. Your diagnosis is almost certainly correct, but how did you arrive at

it?

'I did what you did at the last house. I dropped my stethoscope and when I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the preacher under the bed.'

[Corzza]

At the regular Sunday morning service, father George announced that he was planning to

leave for a larger church that would pay him more.

There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave, because he is so popular.

Costa, who owns several car dealerships stands up and proclaims

"If father George stays, I will provide him with a new Mercedes every year,

and his wife with a Honda CRV, to transport their children!"

The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.

Dimitri, a successful businessman and lawyer, stands and says,

"If father George will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary,

and establish a foundation to guarantee a free university education for his children!"

More sighs and loud applause

Maria, age 68, stands and announces with a smile,

"If father George stays, I will give him sex!"

There is total silence.

Father George, blushing, asks her: "Maria, you're a wonderful and holy lady.

Whatever possessed you to say that?"

Maria’s 70-year old husband, Vasillis, is now trying to hide,

holding his forehead with the palm of his hand, and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replied,

"Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said: "F#ck him."

[Corzza]

After a long night of making love, he notices a photo of another man on her

nightstand by the bed.

He begins to worry........... "Is this your husband?" he nervouslyasks.

"No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him.

"Your boyfriend, then?" he continues.

"No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear.

"Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to bereassured.

"No, no, no! You are so hot when you're jealous!" she answers.

"Well, who in the hell is he, then?" he demands.

"That's me before the surgery!"

[Corzza]

Doctor: I’m sorry to have to tell you that you may have rabies, and it could prove fatal.

Patient: Well, doctor, please give me pencil and paper.

Doctor: To make your will?

Patient: No, to make a list of people I want to bite.

[Corzza]

Snow white, brad pit and bin laden having a drink

Snow white says,"I'm the most beautiful woman in the world".

Brad pit says,"I'm the most handsome man in the world".

Bin laden says,"I'm the most hated man in the world".

So all three go to the magic mirror to see if its true.

Snow white goes in and comes out saying,"I told u so".

Brad pit then goes in and comes out saying,"I told u so".

Bin Laden then goes in and comes out shouting, "who the hell is julia gillard?"

[Barra]

Corzza, Appreciate all your jokes, especially on a Friday. Thanks from all the guys and girls at my work too.

[FPV6T]

[dre]

this

[Corzza]

Pleasure fellas!

Nothing better than a good chuckle during the working day!