turbo.vixen Hey guys, Tab is here... Oh i feel sick Lifetime Members 8,459 Member For: 16y 7m 2d Gender: Male Location: sunshine coast Posted 15/11/08 06:33 AM Share Posted 15/11/08 06:33 AM The three Dolls in a man's life are: 1........His Daughter, 'Baby doll'2.........His Girlfriend, 'Barbie doll' Wait for it 3.....His Wife, 'Panadol' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ralfus90 Member 769 Member For: 16y 5m 19d Gender: Male Location: under a rock perth wa Posted 18/11/08 08:14 AM Share Posted 18/11/08 08:14 AM whats a wok?sumfing you fwow at a wabbit when you havent got a wifle.......just got bad didnt it....BUT WAIT THERES MORE!!!!all care taken no responsibility....a gay couple been togetha for years when one dies....so the other finally goes to the funeral parlour to figure out how to dispose of his partner...the celebrant says..well you have two options..the first is a conventional burial...the gay man says..oh ok what does that involve? well says the celebrant...we lay him to rest in a beautiful coffin and have a cerimony where everyone can see him off then we lower him into the earth and bury him...OH HELL NO!!!says the gay man...he hated bugs ..he was a clean person he would just hate me if he knew I did that to him...well says the celebrant..the other option is cremation...what does that involve asks the gay man...well we will still have a service where the family and friends can see him off buit then instead of burying him we exhume his remains in a furnace and reduce themn to ashes which you can then dispose of or scatter as you wish....f*ck NO!!!says the gay man...he hated the heat he was a winter person and fire was one of his greatest fears..absolutely not...he hated the heat...well says the celebrant...im sorry but they are the oinly two options...well I have an idea says the gay man...why dont you chop him up into lots of little bits and pieces and ill take him home and make a curry for dinner with him....WHY THE f*ck WOULD YOU WANT TO DO THAT?????!!!!asks the celebrant....so I can feel him dribble out my ass one more time in the morning................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turbo.vixen Hey guys, Tab is here... Oh i feel sick Lifetime Members 8,459 Member For: 16y 7m 2d Gender: Male Location: sunshine coast Posted 18/11/08 07:31 PM Share Posted 18/11/08 07:31 PM omg I didnt just read that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
typhoon_freak Cryptic Clothing Company Donating Members 4,556 Member For: 16y 5m 15d Gender: Male Location: Brisvages, Capalaba Posted 18/11/08 07:39 PM Share Posted 18/11/08 07:39 PM ahhh ok... wasnt quite expecting that kind of ending.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turbo.vixen Hey guys, Tab is here... Oh i feel sick Lifetime Members 8,459 Member For: 16y 7m 2d Gender: Male Location: sunshine coast Posted 18/11/08 07:40 PM Share Posted 18/11/08 07:40 PM did you spew in your mouth too? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
typhoon_freak Cryptic Clothing Company Donating Members 4,556 Member For: 16y 5m 15d Gender: Male Location: Brisvages, Capalaba Posted 18/11/08 07:41 PM Share Posted 18/11/08 07:41 PM just a lil... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ralfus90 Member 769 Member For: 16y 5m 19d Gender: Male Location: under a rock perth wa Posted 19/11/08 07:01 AM Share Posted 19/11/08 07:01 AM told that joke a few times now and I still get a little queazy at the ending...lolnote to self..if someone is drinkin a bevi in front of you while telling that joke....2 steps back and one to the side... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
exarsixturbo Dr. Speed Member 784 Member For: 17y 4m 25d Gender: Male Location: The land of Politicians, Public Servants, Porno & Pyrotechnics Posted 19/11/08 11:11 PM Share Posted 19/11/08 11:11 PM Two Texans were out on the range talking about their favorite sex positions. One said, 'I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best.' 'I don't think I have ever heard of that one,' said the other cowboy. 'What is it?' 'Well, it's where you get your wife down on all fours and you mount her from behind. Then you reach around and cup each one of her breas*s in your hands and whisper in her ear; 'Boy, these feel just like your sister's. Then you try and stay on for 8 seconds.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turbo.vixen Hey guys, Tab is here... Oh i feel sick Lifetime Members 8,459 Member For: 16y 7m 2d Gender: Male Location: sunshine coast Posted 19/11/08 11:23 PM Share Posted 19/11/08 11:23 PM HILLBILLY DIVORCE A hillbilly farmer who wanted to get a divorce paid a visit to a lawyer. The lawyer said, 'How can I help you?' The farmer said, 'I want to get one of them dayvorces.' The lawyer said, 'Do you have any grounds?' The farmer said, 'Yes, I got 40 acres' The lawyer said, 'No, No, you don't understand, Do you have a suit? The farmer said, 'Yes, I got a suit, I wears it to church on Sundays.' The lawyer said, 'No, no, I mean, do you have a case?' The farmer said, 'No, I ain't got a Case, but I got a John Deere. The lawyer said, 'No, I mean, do you have a grudge?' The farmer said,'Yes, I got a grudge, that's where I parks the John Deere' The lawyer said, 'Does your wife beat you up or something?' The farmer said, 'No, we both get up at 4:30.'By now the lawyer is getting frustrated but tries one last question .The lawyer said, 'Is your wife a nagger?' The farmer said, 'No, she's a little white gal, but our last child was a nagger and that's why I wants a dayvorce.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRDOSE BIGRED Donating Members 1,410 Member For: 17y 9m 2d Gender: Male Location: Sth East Melb Posted 22/11/08 02:55 AM Share Posted 22/11/08 02:55 AM One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor.""Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money, " Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor."So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.The computer prints the following:1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. 5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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