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Joke Of The Day


XRSICKT

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  • I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it
  • Donating Members
  • Member For: 21y 10m 17d
  • Gender: Male
  • Location: Sydney, south west

Q. Who is the only 120kg man to ride a Melbourne Cup winner?

A. Chris Munce's cell mate

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  • CNUTOX
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  • Member For: 21y 10m
  • Gender: Male
  • Location: Not sure?

A black man jogs into the doctor and says he can't stop jogging. The Doc puts 2 lines of white powder on the desk and tells him to snort it.

He does it and he immediatlely stops still. "f*ck me- is that cocain?" he says. "No," replies the doctor, "it's OMO- guaranteed to stop colours from running."

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  • New Member
  • Member For: 21y 1m 18d
  • Location: Melbourne

Postman Pat's Last Day

IIt was Postman Pat's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighbourhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family there who all hugged and congratulated him and sent him on his way with a gift cheque for $500.

At the second house they presented him fine Cuban cigars in an 18-carat gold box.

The folks at the third house handed him a case of 30-year old Scotch whisky.

At the fourth house a blonde in her lingerie met him at the door. She took him by the arm and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.

When he had had enough they went downstairs, where the blonde fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, tomatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and freshly squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.

As she was pouring, he noticed a $5 note sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.

"All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, but what's the five dollars for?"

"Well," said the dumb blonde, "Last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you and I asked him what to give you".

He said, "F*ck him. Give him five bucks."

She smiled shyly and said, "The breakfast was my idea."

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  • Next stage, to the Pub in 10 seconds
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  • Member For: 20y 2m 23d
  • Gender: Male
  • Location: Berwick Victoria

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour. ?Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel." ?After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.????

Bob the next door neighbour," she replies.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was

"Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes

Rob... :roflmbo:

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  • Member
  • Member For: 21y 10m 14d
  • Gender: Male
  • Location: Brisbane

KINGSTON, Jamaica

Breaking News........

In what may be a major breakthrough, Jamaican police investigating the

murder of Pakistan cricket coach Bob Woolmer at the World Cup have today

released a picture of a man heard shouting "Woolmer, Woolmer!" whilst beating on

Woolmer's door.

Police hope with the release of the photo a member of the public may

recognise the suspect.

post-255-1175143406_thumb.jpg

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  • THE Member
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  • Member For: 19y 4m 1d
  • Gender: Male
  • Location: Melbourne

West Coast eagle major sponser, Hungry Jack has just realesed the new "Ben Cousins Meal"

It has.....

No Burger

No Fries

Just Coke and Ice!!

Chooka

Edited by Chooka
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