phantomchic Just because it is, doesn't mean it should be..... Lifetime Members 14,092 Member For: 20y 4m 23d Gender: Female Location: Noosa QLD Posted 29/06/06 01:32 PM Share Posted 29/06/06 01:32 PM http://abum.com/file/shadow/animations/17632.swf This one did though... ←which one daggy there are 1000's Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lumpen Poison Fish. Poison Fish. TASTY FISH!!! Donating Members 5,181 Member For: 21y 10m 20d Gender: Male Location: The Bogan Shire Posted 29/06/06 01:36 PM Share Posted 29/06/06 01:36 PM Q/What's the difference between Sperm and a Lawyer.A/At least with sperm there is a 1 in 1,000,000 chance of it growing up to be human.Lumpy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lumpen Poison Fish. Poison Fish. TASTY FISH!!! Donating Members 5,181 Member For: 21y 10m 20d Gender: Male Location: The Bogan Shire Posted 29/06/06 01:37 PM Share Posted 29/06/06 01:37 PM Oh...I'm sorry to any lawyers out there that didn't find that funny. I'm not sorry if I offended you, I'm just sorry you're a lawyer Lumpy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flukey Seriously Flukey Member Donating Members 4,354 Member For: 20y 10m 14d Gender: Male Location: Melbourne Posted 29/06/06 01:39 PM Share Posted 29/06/06 01:39 PM Oh...I'm sorry to any lawyers out there that didn't find that funny. I'm not sorry if I offended you, I'm just sorry you're a lawyer Lumpy ←As long as you are enjoying yourself Lumpy, that's all that matters Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lumpen Poison Fish. Poison Fish. TASTY FISH!!! Donating Members 5,181 Member For: 21y 10m 20d Gender: Male Location: The Bogan Shire Posted 29/06/06 01:41 PM Share Posted 29/06/06 01:41 PM Oh...I'm sorry to any lawyers out there that didn't find that funny. I'm not sorry if I offended you, I'm just sorry you're a lawyer Lumpy ←As long as you are enjoying yourself Lumpy, that's all that matters ←That one should be attributed to the great Bill Hicks, his reference was to catholics however Lumpy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turbo6man Lifetime Members 4,084 Member For: 22y 3m 25d Gender: Male Location: South Coast NSW Posted 30/06/06 01:41 AM Share Posted 30/06/06 01:41 AM Q/What's the difference between Sperm and a Lawyer.A/At least with sperm there is a 1 in 1,000,000 chance of it growing up to be human.Lumpy ←Because there is a growing demand for burial space - cemetries are filling up at an ever increasing rate - it has been decided that from 2020 cemetries will be multi-level. That is to say there will be the normal 6 foot deep plots but in addirion there will be another plot at 12 feet down. It has been decreed that this new deeper level will be solely for the use of lawyers and politicians. "Why?", you might ask. Well, because deep down they might be orright! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turbo6man Lifetime Members 4,084 Member For: 22y 3m 25d Gender: Male Location: South Coast NSW Posted 30/06/06 01:48 AM Share Posted 30/06/06 01:48 AM A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Kerry. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The lawyer responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here." The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in Dublin and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Kerry . We settle small disagreements like this with the Kerry Three Kick Rule."The lawyer asked, "What is the Kerry Three Kick Rule?"The farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, first I kick youthree times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he couldeasily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The barrister was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end sent him face-first into a fresh cow sh*t.The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old coot. Now it's my turn."The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the duck." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turbo6man Lifetime Members 4,084 Member For: 22y 3m 25d Gender: Male Location: South Coast NSW Posted 30/06/06 01:50 AM Share Posted 30/06/06 01:50 AM A truck driver frequently traveled through a small town where there was a courthouse at the side of the road. Of course, there were always lawyers walking along the road.The truck driver made it a practice to hit any pedestrian lawyers with his truck as he sped by. One day, he spotted a priest walking along the road and stopped to give him a ride. A little further along, as he approached the town, he spotted a lawyer walking along the side of the road. Automatically, he veered his truck towards the lawyer, but...then he remembered his passenger. He swerved back to the center, but he heard a "whump" and in the rear view mirror he spotted the lawyer rolling across the field. He turned to the priest and said, "Father, I'm sure that I missed that lawyer." And the priest replied, "That's OK, my son, I got him with the door." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stang Donating Members 1,353 Member For: 21y 15d Location: Melbourne Posted 03/07/06 10:53 AM Share Posted 03/07/06 10:53 AM Why I`m proud to be a greek.....The Greek & his BMWA Greek parks his brand new BMW in front of the office to show it offTo is colleagues. As he's getting out of the car, a truck comes speedingalong to close to the kerb and takes off the door before speeding off.More than a little distraught, the Greek grabs his mobile and callsthe police. Five minutes later, the police arrive. Before the policeman hasa chance to ask any questions, the Greek starts screaming hysterically:"My BMW, my beautiful black BMW is ruined! No matter how long at thepanel beaters it'll simply never be the same again!". After the Greekfinally finishes his rant, the policeman shakes his head in disgust: "Ican't believe how materialistic you bloody Greeks are," he says. "Youlot are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anythingelse in your life.""How can you say such a thing at a time like this?", snaps the Greek.The policeman replies, "Didn't you realize that your right arm was tornoff when the truck hit you?"The Greek looks down in absolute horror "F...... HELL!!!!!! hescreams........"Where's my Rolex ????..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jEtONiT Donating Members 1,817 Member For: 21y 2m 28d Gender: Not Telling Location: next door.. Posted 03/07/06 12:08 PM Share Posted 03/07/06 12:08 PM Why I`m proud to be a greek.....The Greek & his BMWA Greek parks his brand new BMW in front of the office to show it offTo is colleagues. As he's getting out of the car, a truck comes speedingalong to close to the kerb and takes off the door before speeding off.More than a little distraught, the Greek grabs his mobile and callsthe police. Five minutes later, the police arrive. Before the policeman hasa chance to ask any questions, the Greek starts screaming hysterically:"My BMW, my beautiful black BMW is ruined! No matter how long at thepanel beaters it'll simply never be the same again!". After the Greekfinally finishes his rant, the policeman shakes his head in disgust: "Ican't believe how materialistic you bloody Greeks are," he says. "Youlot are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anythingelse in your life.""How can you say such a thing at a time like this?", snaps the Greek.The policeman replies, "Didn't you realize that your right arm was tornoff when the truck hit you?"The Greek looks down in absolute horror "F...... HELL!!!!!! hescreams........"Where's my Rolex ????..."←LOLL sick 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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