phantomchic Just because it is, doesn't mean it should be..... Lifetime Members 14,092 Member For: 20y 1m 25d Gender: Female Location: Noosa QLD Posted 03/09/05 04:51 AM Share Posted 03/09/05 04:51 AM Doggie on the back seat of a XR6 TURBO!!<{POST_SNAPBACK}>Yes please .... ooops, my bad. I didn't see the pic.<{POST_SNAPBACK}> errm OOPS.. that could have got out of hand ... <{POST_SNAPBACK}>It's all good Shaz - everything is under control. I was keeping abreast of things ... <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Shazzy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phantomchic Just because it is, doesn't mean it should be..... Lifetime Members 14,092 Member For: 20y 1m 25d Gender: Female Location: Noosa QLD Posted 03/09/05 05:35 AM Share Posted 03/09/05 05:35 AM MEN ARE LIKE ROSES 1. Men are like .......Laxatives .... They irritate the sh*t out of you. 2. Men are like .. Bananas .... The older they get, the less firm they are. 3. Men are like .. Weather .. Nothing can be done to change them.. 4. Men are like .. Blenders .. You need One, but you're not quite sure why. 5. Men are like .. Chocolate Bars .. Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips. 6. Men are like .. Commercials .... You can't believe a word they say. 7. Men are like .. Department Stores .. Their clothes are always 1/2 off. 8. Men are like .. Government Bonds .. They take soooooooo long to mature. 9. Men are like .. Mascara .... They usually run at the first sign of emotion. 10. Men are like .. Popcorn ... They satisfy you, but only for a little while. 11. Men are like Snowstorms .. You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last. 12. Men are like ..... Lava Lamps ... Fun to look at, but not very bright. 13. Men are like ..... Parking Spots . All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped. simply could not resist Shazzy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turbo6man Lifetime Members 4,084 Member For: 22y 26d Gender: Male Location: South Coast NSW Posted 03/09/05 05:46 AM Share Posted 03/09/05 05:46 AM simply could not resist Shazzy<{POST_SNAPBACK}>So that must make you ... er, um ... ir resist able ???PSHow many men does it take to open a beer?None. It should be opened when she brings it.-------------------------------------------------------------------Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never beable to support you.--------------------------------------------------------------------Why do women have smaller feet than men?It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allowsthem to stand closer to the kitchen sink.-------------------------------------------------------------------How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."-------------------------------------------------------------------How do you fix a woman's watch?You don't. There is a clock on the oven.-------------------------------------------------------------------Why do men fart more than women?Because women can't shut up long enough tobuild up the required pressure.-------------------------------------------------------------------If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, whodo you let in first?The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.-------------------------------------------------------------------What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?A woman who won't do what she's told.-------------------------------------------------------------------I married a Miss Right.I just didn't know her first name was Always.-------------------------------------------------------------------Scientists have discovered a food that diminishesa woman's sex drive by 90%.It's called a Wedding Cake.-------------------------------------------------------------------Why do men die before their wives?They want to.-------------------------------------------------------------------Women will never be equal to men until they canwalk down the street with a bald head and a beergut, and still think they are sexy.-------------------------------------------------------------------In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.Then God created Man and rested.Then God created Woman.Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phantomchic Just because it is, doesn't mean it should be..... Lifetime Members 14,092 Member For: 20y 1m 25d Gender: Female Location: Noosa QLD Posted 03/09/05 05:52 AM Share Posted 03/09/05 05:52 AM the challenge is onBEHIND EVERY SUCCESSFUL WOMAN IS HERSELF A WOMAN IS LIKE A TEA BAG... YOU DON'T KNOW HOW STRONG SHE IS UNTIL YOU PUT HER IN HOT WATER I HAVE YET TO HEAR A MAN ASK FOR ADVICE ON HOW TO COMBINE MARRIAGE AND A CAREER COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN. SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN And I HAVE A GUN WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY... I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME DO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILL NOT WIN ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE And last but not least: IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turbo6man Lifetime Members 4,084 Member For: 22y 26d Gender: Male Location: South Coast NSW Posted 03/09/05 05:56 AM Share Posted 03/09/05 05:56 AM the challenge is onDO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILL NOT WIN <{POST_SNAPBACK}>OK OK I give in ... oh, hang on a sec, I just have to let the dog in ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phantomchic Just because it is, doesn't mean it should be..... Lifetime Members 14,092 Member For: 20y 1m 25d Gender: Female Location: Noosa QLD Posted 03/09/05 06:29 AM Share Posted 03/09/05 06:29 AM the challenge is onDO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILL NOT WIN <{POST_SNAPBACK}>OK OK I give in ... oh, hang on a sec, I just have to let the dog in ...<{POST_SNAPBACK}>Good Choice!!! make sure the dog is bathed and deflead first shazzyOh err PLEASE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maximum_velocity Lemming No #5 Member 1,991 Member For: 19y 11m 13d Gender: Male Location: Endeavour Hills, Victoria Posted 04/09/05 07:40 AM Share Posted 04/09/05 07:40 AM now I have been told shazzy has small feet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aniken I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it Donating Members 4,316 Member For: 21y 10m 17d Gender: Male Location: Sydney, south west Posted 04/09/05 11:16 AM Share Posted 04/09/05 11:16 AM Rural Australian computer terminologyLOG ON: Adding wood to make the barbie hotter.LOG OFF: Not adding any more wood to the barbie.MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the barbie.DOWNLOAD: Getting the firewood off the ute.HARD DRIVE: Making the trip back home without any cold tinniesKEYBOARD: Where you hang the ute keysWINDOW: What you shut when the weather's cold.SCREEN: What you shut in the mozzie season.BYTE: What mozzies do.MEGABYTE: What Townsville mozzies do.CHIP: A bar snack.MICROCHIP: What's left in the bag after you've eaten the chips.MODEM: What you did to the lawns.LAPTOP: Where the cat sleeps.SOFTWARE: Plastic knives & forks you get at Red Rooster.HARDWARE: Stainless steel knives & forks - from K-Mart.MOUSE: The small rodent that eat's the grain in the shed.MAINFRAME: What hold's the shed up.WEB: What spiders make.WEBSITE: Usually in the shed or under the verandah.SEARCH ENGINE: What you do when the ute won't go.CURSOR: What you say when the ute won't go.YAHOO: What you say when the ute does go.UPGRADE: A steep hill.SERVER: The person at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.MAIL SERVER: The bloke at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.USER: The neighbour who keep's borrowing things.NETWORK: What you do when you need to repair the fishing net.INTERNET: Where you want the fish to go.NETSCAPE: What the fish do when they discover the hole in the net.ONLINE: Where you hang the washing.OFFLINE: Where the washing end's up when the pegs aren't strong enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blown BA In Your Face Member 6,195 Member For: 21y 7m 28d Gender: Male Location: Peninsula Posted 05/09/05 08:05 AM Share Posted 05/09/05 08:05 AM A man joins a Tibetan temple. He takes a vow of silence but is allowed to say two words every year. After an arduous 12 months of eating rice, sleeping on a wooden bed with a raggedy blanket, and working 14-hour days in the field, the man goes to the head monk and says, “More blankets.” Another year passes, and he visits the head monk and says, “More food.” The man goes through one more year eating good meals and sleeping well, but he’s drained by the long work days. He calls on the head monk and uses his two words to say, “I’m leaving.” “Good,” the head monk replies. “You’ve done nothing but b**ch since you got here.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blown BA In Your Face Member 6,195 Member For: 21y 7m 28d Gender: Male Location: Peninsula Posted 05/09/05 08:05 AM Share Posted 05/09/05 08:05 AM Morris walks out into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Dave." "Who?" "Dave Aronson. There's a guy who did everything right. Like my coming along when you needed a cab. It would have happened like that to Dave.""There are always a few clouds over everybody," says Morris. "Not Dave. He was a terrific athlete. He could have gone on the pro tour in tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star." "He was something, huh?" "He had a memory like a trap. Could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which fork to eat with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and I black out the whole neighborhood." "No wonder you remember him." "Well, I never actually met Dave." "Then how do you know so much about him?" asks Morris. "Because I married his widow." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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