Joke Of The Day

[Buf-Phoon]

Q: What's the difference between a gynecologist and a geneologist?

A: One looks up the family tree, and the other looks up the family bush.

Geea.

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Whats the difference between KFC and the family bush???

Nothing!

Their both finger licking good :lol:

vik of the overboost

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But only one tastes like chicken.

Geea. :o

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Or something Fowl :o

[Blown BA]

A man had passed his 30th birthday and was still not married, so his father found him a nice girl, whom he married. Less than a month later, his father caught him masturbating in the garden shed. "What's this?" he said. "I thought you'd stop doing that once you got married." "But Dad," answered the son, "the poor girl's not used to it. Her little arms get tired."

[Blown BA]

Two women always rode their bicycles together. One day, they decided to take a different route. One of the women remarked, "I never came this way before." To which her friend replied, "Must be the cobblestones!"

[Blown BA]

A college professor had just finished explaining an important research project to his class. He emphasized that this paper was an absolute requirement for passing, and that there would be only two acceptable excuses for being late: a medically certifiable illness or a death in the student's immediate family. A smart-ass student in the back of the classroom waved his hand and spoke up. "But what about extreme sexual exhaustion, professor?" When the students finally stopped laughing, the professor responded, "Well, I guess you'll just have to learn to write with your other hand."

[cvanxr]

Great Ad. :lol:

Bugger I can't seem to get the attachment to load. Will have to try it another time

Edited 12/11/04 01:45 AM by cvanxr

[JB]

An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening.

After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question.

Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.

The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"

Acknowledging the first man on his right, the man replied, "A THOUGHT". It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of."

"That's very good!" replied the interviewer. "And now you sir?" he asked the second man.

"Hmm.... let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of."

"Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliché for speed."

He then turned to the third man who was contemplating his reply.

"Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep,

TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."

The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light" he said.

Turning to the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question.

The last man replied, "After hearing the three previous answers, It's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA."

"WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response.

"Oh I can explain." said the fourth man. "You see the other day I wasn't feeling so good and I ran for the bathroom. But, before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already sh*t in my pants.

HE GOT THE JOB

[JB]

A man came home from work one day to find his wife sitting on the front porch with her bags packed.

He asked her where she was going and she replied, "I'm going to Las Vegas."

He asked her why she was going.

She told him, "I just found out that as a woman I can make $400 a night doing what I give you for free."

He went into the house, packed his bags and returned to the porch.

His wife said, "And just where do you think you are going?"

"I''m going too!" he replied.

"Why?" she asked.

"I want to see how you are going to live on $800 a year!"

[Cro]

100 pages down.

[Blown BA]

A man goes to the pharmacy, walks up to the counter, and tells the druggist, "I have three girls coming to my place tonight. I've never been with more than one. I need something to keep me sexually aroused." The druggist unlocks the bottom drawer and pulls out a strongbox. He unlocks the padlock to reveal a bunch of little boxes, and says, "One of these will keep you going for a whole day."

The customer says, "I'll take three." He pays for them a walks out.

Three days later the man returns to the pharmacy. His pen*s is dangling out of his pants. It's black and blue, covered with scabs, with flaps of skin hanging off of it. He walks up to the counter and asks the druggist, "Do you have any Ben Gay?"

The shocked druggist replies, "You're not going to use Ben Gay on that!"

"No," the man said, "The Ben Gay's for my arms. The girls never showed up!"

[Blown BA]

A man in a posh restaurent in Spain asks for something different. The waiter brings a plate of food with two large meat-ball looking "things" in gravy. "What the hell's this?" he asks. "well Senor, after the bullfight and the bull has lost, we eat the bull, nothing is wasted, this is a delicacy, please try it". The man has a tentative taste, "Hmm, not bad". He tries some more, decides he likes it and asks what it is. The waiter tells him that "You English call them sweetbreads, the Bull's balls". "I'm not English, I'm Welsh but no matter, if you'd told me that first I wouldn't have tried it but I like it". He liked it that much he had them on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday as well. On the Friday the waiter asks him what he'd like and the man says he'd like "Some more bollocks please". When the waiter brings the plate there's two very small oval lumps in the gravy. "Hey, where's the bollocks mate" he says. The waiter replies "Well Senor, the bull doesn't always lose".