turbotom Team Bute Donating Members 1,550 Member For: 21y 7m 6d Gender: Male Location: Adelaide Posted 27/08/04 07:23 AM Share Posted 27/08/04 07:23 AM This pic gave me a laugh......Watch out all you Kiwis...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Z Member 378 Member For: 21y Posted 27/08/04 10:12 AM Share Posted 27/08/04 10:12 AM Can you figure this out?? 3 MEN GO INTO A MOTEL. THE MAN BEHIND THE DESK SAID THE ROOM IS $30, SO EACH MAN PAID $10 AND WENT TO THE ROOM. A WHILE LATER THE MAN BEHIND THE DESK REALIZED THE ROOM WAS ONLY $25, SO HE SENT THE BELLBOY TO THE 3 GUYS' ROOM WITH $5. ON THE WAY THE BELLBOY COULDN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO SPLIT $5 EVENLY BETWEEN 3 MEN, SO HE GAVE EACH MAN A $1 AND KEPT THE OTHER $2 FOR HIMSELF. THIS MEANT THAT THE 3 MEN EACH PAID $9 FOR THE ROOM, WHICH IS A TOTAL OF $27, ADD THE $2 THAT THE BELLBOY KEPT = $29. WHERE IS THE OTHER DOLLAR? The flaw is in the phrase "ADD THE $2 THAT THE BELLBOY KEPT = $29." This should not be added; it should be subtracted, since the $2 the bellboy got is part of the $27 dollars the three men spent altogether. If you subtract the $2 from the $27 you get the $25 that goes into the till.That is, since each man has now paid $9 for the room (3 x 9 = 27), and the bellboy has $2 in his pocket (27 - 2 = 25), the rest of the money is in the hotel till.In summary, the trick is to realize that the $2 has to be subtracted from the $27, not added to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turbotom Team Bute Donating Members 1,550 Member For: 21y 7m 6d Gender: Male Location: Adelaide Posted 27/08/04 10:59 AM Share Posted 27/08/04 10:59 AM Picture the scene.... Stevie Wonder is playing a gig in Tokyo.The crowd is going wild when a young Japanese man at the front says, "Stevie Wonder, you play a jazz chord, you play a jazz chord!" So Stevie plays an F# minor on his keyboard and goes off on a jazz number. The Japanese man says, "No Stevie Wonder, you play a jazz chord!" So Stevie tries an A and off he goes with the band on this amazing improvised number.When he's finished, the lad says, "Velly good, but Stevie, we want a jazz chord, a jazz chord!" By now old Stevie is a little confused."What do you mean, play a jazz chord? I've just done 2 for you..?" he says to the fan. "But it best song of Stevie Wonder! It velly famous!" comes the reply. "Ok, well how does it go then?", enquires the blind musical genius. The young Japanese man clears his throat and starts to sing: Wait for it............................................... "A jazz chord..............to say...... .......I ru----v you..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harlee Member 29 Member For: 20y 5m 27d Gender: Male Location: Canberra Posted 27/08/04 11:32 AM Share Posted 27/08/04 11:32 AM Englishman,irishman and aussie at the bar talking about their teenage daughters,the pommie says he is disappointed,he found a packet of smokes in his daughters cupboard last night,the aussie said that's nothing I found a half empty bottle of scotch in my daughters room,then the irishman piped up and said how upset he was ,he found a packet of condoms in his daughters dresser and he didn't even now she had a dick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dagabond Bored Member Administrator 35,722 Member For: 22y 3m 7d Gender: Male Location: Dé·jà vu Posted 28/08/04 06:06 PM Share Posted 28/08/04 06:06 PM Military Aircraft Warranty-Survey FormThank you for purchasing the Defender F-12 military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.1. Personal Information[_] Mr. [_] Mrs. [_] Ms. [_] Miss[_] Lt. [_] Gen. [_] Comrade [_] Classified [_] OtherFirst Name:..............................................Initial: ........Last Name:...............................................Password: ............................... (max 8 char)Code Name:...............................................Latitude-Longitude-Altitude-Attitude:....... ........ ......... ........2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?[_] F-14 Tomcat[_] F-15 Eagle[_] F-16 Falcon[_] F-117A Stealth[_] Classified3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): 20....... /....... /.......4. Serial Number:...............................5. Please check where this product was purchased:[_] Received as gift / aid package[_] Catalog showroom[_] Independent arms broker[_] Mail order[_] Discount store[_] Government surplus[_] Classified6. Please check how you became aware of the Defender F-12 product you have just purchased:[_] Heard loud noise, looked up[_] Store display[_] Espionage[_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer[_] Was attacked by one7. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision to purchase this Defender F-12 product:[_] Style / appearance[_] Speed / maneuverability[_] Price / value[_] Comfort / convenience[_] Kickback / bribe[_] Recommended by salesperson[_] Defender F-12 reputation[_] Advanced Weapons Systems[_] Back room politics[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:[_] North America[_] Iraq[_] Central / South America[_] Iraq[_] Aircraft carrier[_] Iraq[_] Europe[_] Iraq[_] Middle East (not Iraq)[_] Iraq[_] Africa[_] Iraq[_] Asia / Far East[_] Iraq[_] Misc. Third World countries[_] Iraq[_] Classified[_] Iraq9. Please check the products that you currently own or intend to purchase in the near future:[_] Color TV[_] VCR[_] ICBM[_] Killer Satellite[_] CD Player[_] Air-to-Air Missiles[_] Space Shuttle[_] Home Computer[_] Nuclear Weapon10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Check all that apply:)[_] Communist / Socialist[_] Terrorist[_] Crazed[_] Neutral[_] Democratic[_] Dictatorship[_] Corrupt[_] Primitive / Tribal11. How did you pay for your Defender F-12 product?[_] Deficit spending[_] Cash[_] Suitcases of cocaine[_] Oil revenues[_] Personal check[_] Credit card[_] Ransom money[_] Traveler's check12. Your occupation...[_] Homemaker[_] Sales / marketing[_] Revolutionary[_] Clerical[_] Mercenary[_] Tyrant[_] Middle management[_] Eccentric billionaire[_] Defense Minister / General[_] Retired[_] Student13. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:[_] Golf[_] Boating / sailing[_] Sabotage[_] Running / jogging[_] Propaganda / misinformation[_] Destabilization / overthrow[_] Default on loans[_] Gardening[_] Crafts[_] Black market / smuggling[_] Collectibles / collections[_] Watching sports on TV[_] Wines[_] Interrogation / torture[_] Household pets[_] Crushing rebellions[_] Espionage / reconnaissance[_] Fashion clothing[_] Border disputes[_] Mutually Assured DestructionThank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help Defender F-12 serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes.Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:DEFENDER F-12 CORPORATIONMarketing DepartmentMilitary Aerospace Division Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blown BA In Your Face Member 6,195 Member For: 21y 11m 12d Gender: Male Location: Peninsula Posted 30/08/04 06:17 AM Share Posted 30/08/04 06:17 AM gas station in Mississippi was trying to increase it's sales so the owner put up a sign saying "Free Sex with Fill-up." Soon a local "redneck" pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his free sex. The owner told him pick a number from one to ten and if he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex. The buyer then guessed eight. The proprietor said, "You were close. The number was seven. Sorry, no sex this time." A week later, the same "redneck", along with a buddy, Bubba, pulled in for a fill-up, again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number. The redneck guessed two this time and again the proprietor said, "Sorry, it was three. You were close, but no free sex this time." As they were driving away, the "redneck" said to his buddy, "I think that game is rigged and he don't really give away free sex." Bubba replied, "No it ain't Billy Ray, it ain't rigged -- my wife won twice last week." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blown BA In Your Face Member 6,195 Member For: 21y 11m 12d Gender: Male Location: Peninsula Posted 30/08/04 06:18 AM Share Posted 30/08/04 06:18 AM (edited) Can you figure this out?? 3 MEN GO INTO A MOTEL. THE MAN BEHIND THE DESK SAID THE ROOM IS $30, SO EACH MAN PAID $10 AND WENT TO THE ROOM. A WHILE LATER THE MAN BEHIND THE DESK REALIZED THE ROOM WAS ONLY $25, SO HE SENT THE BELLBOY TO THE 3 GUYS' ROOM WITH $5. ON THE WAY THE BELLBOY COULDN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO SPLIT $5 EVENLY BETWEEN 3 MEN, SO HE GAVE EACH MAN A $1 AND KEPT THE OTHER $2 FOR HIMSELF. THIS MEANT THAT THE 3 MEN EACH PAID $9 FOR THE ROOM, WHICH IS A TOTAL OF $27, ADD THE $2 THAT THE BELLBOY KEPT = $29. WHERE IS THE OTHER DOLLAR?The flaw is in the phrase "ADD THE $2 THAT THE BELLBOY KEPT = $29." This should not be added; it should be subtracted, since the $2 the bellboy got is part of the $27 dollars the three men spent altogether. If you subtract the $2 from the $27 you get the $25 that goes into the till.That is, since each man has now paid $9 for the room (3 x 9 = 27), and the bellboy has $2 in his pocket (27 - 2 = 25), the rest of the money is in the hotel till.In summary, the trick is to realize that the $2 has to be subtracted from the $27, not added to it. If you had read it properly the other dollar went to the BELLBOY for his tip Edited 30/08/04 06:20 AM by Blown BA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blown BA In Your Face Member 6,195 Member For: 21y 11m 12d Gender: Male Location: Peninsula Posted 30/08/04 06:19 AM Share Posted 30/08/04 06:19 AM While suturing a laceration on the hand of a 70-year-old Massachusetts business Tycoon (whose hand had been caught in a fence while working at his country home), a doctor and the old man were talking about Senator John Kerry possibly being in the White House one day. The old Tycoon said, "Well, ya know, Kerry is a 'post turtle'." Not knowing what the old man meant, the doctor asked him what a post turtle was. The old man said, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle." The old man saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain, "You know he didn't get there by himself, he doesn't belong there, he can't get anything done while he's up there, and you just want to help the poor stupid bas*ard get down". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blown BA In Your Face Member 6,195 Member For: 21y 11m 12d Gender: Male Location: Peninsula Posted 30/08/04 06:20 AM Share Posted 30/08/04 06:20 AM A man is out driving happily along in his car late one Saturday night. Before too long, the cops pull him over. The policeman walks up to the man and asks, “Have you been drinking, sir?” “Why? Was I weaving all over the road?” the man answered. “No,” replied the policeman, “you were driving splendidly. It was the ugly fat chick in the passenger seat that gave you away.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turbotom Team Bute Donating Members 1,550 Member For: 21y 7m 6d Gender: Male Location: Adelaide Posted 30/08/04 11:39 PM Share Posted 30/08/04 11:39 PM Hey Blown Baa.... You've developed a bad stutter!what's with all the repeat posts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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