Joke Of The Day

[Guest]

Thanks Vik, I do have a reputation to uphold.

If I started posting good jokes people would think something was wrong! :lol:

Steady as a rock me old china

vik

[ktford]

There are rumours that Anthony Mundine's performance at his recent World

Title fight was drug assisted Apparently "The Man" did not provide a urine

sample after the fight.

It has also been revealed that he has in fact never provided a urine sample

during his entire sporting career (NRL or Boxing).

A spokesman for Mundine has stated that the boxer is protected by

Commonwealth and International Law ... which makes it illegal to take the

piss out of Aborigines.

Now that is funny :lol:

Scotty CCC

[Blown BA]

The Donkey

A man walks into a bar and sits down and orders a drink. He then notices a Jar that is full of money. The man asks the bartender what the jar is for. The bartender then says that he has a donkey in the back room and if anyone can make him laugh they win the money. If not they owe me 100 dollars. The man says, I can do it!

So he goes into the back room and about 5 minutes later the bartender hears the donkey laughing out loud. The man walks out and takes the money from the jar, thanks the bartender, and leaves.

About a month later the man comes back into the bar and there is a new jar of money. The man asks the bartender what the new jar of money is for.

The bartender looks at the man and says if you can make the donkey cry the money is yours, if not you owe me 100 dollars. The man says ok I'll do it!

He walks into the back room and about 2 minutes goes by when the bartender hears the donkey crying. The man walks out and grabs the money out of the jar, but before the man leaves the bartender asks, "How did you make the donkey laugh?" The man looks at the bartender and says, "Well the first time I told the donkey that I had a bigger cock then he did". "Well then, how did you make him cry?" asked the bartender. "I showed him!"

[Blown BA]

My Wife's Ass

A middle-aged executive was becoming increasingly irritated by the constant ribbing he was taking from the junior employees who couldn't resist making fun of his baldness.

One morning, a particularly brash trainee had the gall to run his hand across the older man's gleaming head while loudly exclaiming: "Feels just like my wife's ass."

With a look of genuine curiosity, the aging executive rubbed his hand across his head.

"You're right," he said, "it does!"

[KEN 24T]

Two old men (one is called Ken...)

[saleen]

A guy goes on vacation to the Holy Land with his wife and mother-in-law.

>

> The mother-in-law dies.

>

> They go to an undertaker who explains that they can ship the body home but

> that it'll cost over $5,000, whereas they can bury her in the Holy Land

for

> only $150.

>

> The guy says, "We'll ship her home."

>

> The undertaker asks, "Are you sure? That's an awfully big expense and we

can

> do a very nice burial here.

>

> The guy says, "Look, 2000 years ago they buried a guy here and three days

> later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."

[Cro]

I just can't take that chance."

LMAO :o

[Blown BA]

The lion tamer

A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two young people show up. One is a good looking lad in his mid-twenties and the other is a gorgeous blonde about the same age.

The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you guys better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment; chair, whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"

The girl says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. About half way there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body.

The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her ankles. He continues to lick her calves, kisses them and rests his head at her feet.

The circus owner's mouth is on the floor. He says, "I've never seen a display like that in my life." He then turns to the young man and asks, "Can you top that?"

The young man replies. "No problem, just get that lion out of the way."

[BA_Turbs]

Well, I hope you are all sitting down for this, 'cos its going to be good:

Q. What do you call Bob the Builder when he retires?

You ready?

Here it comes.....

A. Bob!

[Buf-Phoon]

Turbs ......... geez that was worth the build up