KEN 24T Gandalf the Grey, Maiar of Manwë and Varda, Team HgAg/Sneaky Member 7,371 Member For: 21y 7m 25d Gender: Male Location: The Shire, Middle Earth Posted 08/12/03 02:54 AM Share Posted 08/12/03 02:54 AM "It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except they won't let you fart" :o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hambo_12 Member 317 Member For: 21y 4m 9d Posted 08/12/03 02:54 AM Share Posted 08/12/03 02:54 AM A group of cowboys were branding some cattle. While they were out the cooksaw a sheep tied to a post. Thinking it was for that nights dinner hecooked it. That night after dinner the cowboys were all sulking andignoring the cook. He pulled one aside and asked, "Did I screw up thecooking..." "No", the cowboy replied, "You cooked up the screwing."Just one for the NZ boys!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
100% Premium Donating Member Donating Members 641 Member For: 21y 4m 4d Gender: Male Location: If it says ONLINE below, in front of the computer, if not, tearin' up some bitumen! Posted 08/12/03 04:27 AM Share Posted 08/12/03 04:27 AM Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. > Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. > In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to > Purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. Upon leaving, > the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the > bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home." The > brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she > wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no > less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her > sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph > office, and says "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her > that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer > to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home." > The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then > adds, > It's just 99 cents a word." Well, after paying for the bull, the > brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send > her sister one word. After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, > "I want you to send her the word "comfortable". The operator shakes his > head, "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the > trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back > to your ranch if you send her just the word "comfortable?" > The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word's big. She'll read > it > very slowly........"com-for-da-bul." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
100% Premium Donating Member Donating Members 641 Member For: 21y 4m 4d Gender: Male Location: If it says ONLINE below, in front of the computer, if not, tearin' up some bitumen! Posted 08/12/03 04:39 AM Share Posted 08/12/03 04:39 AM 4. Can you explain q 9 to me? I dont understand how 10 came about. Typo there. The answer to 9 is 9... Whoops I guess you all get an extra point, or for those "special" people, you take one off :lol: In that case I get 10 . :banghead: The answers 10, 9 sheep and the farmer! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KittyKatSmack Itty Bitty Kitty Kar Member 859 Member For: 21y 5m 9d Location: on a road near you.... Posted 08/12/03 04:44 AM Share Posted 08/12/03 04:44 AM I generally drive at bite lip, other peoples that is..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hambo_12 Member 317 Member For: 21y 4m 9d Posted 08/12/03 04:48 AM Share Posted 08/12/03 04:48 AM The answers 10, 9 sheep and the farmer! Hey, yeah it is... Ummmm, I, I knew that, I was just ummmmm, waiting for someone to point that out to me! ummmmm, well done 100%, you get 10,000 extra points for pointing that mistake that was obviously intentional by myself, being the intellect that I am! :banghead: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trumpy What's happening? Lifetime Members 1,605 Member For: 22y 2m 20d Gender: Male Location: Steel City, NSW Posted 08/12/03 05:04 AM Share Posted 08/12/03 05:04 AM The answers 10, 9 sheep and the farmer! Then I would like to refer you to the original question:9. A farmer has 17 sheep standing in a field and all but 9 drop down and die. How many sheep are left standing?The defense rests their case, your honour..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest VixxenChiQ Guests Posted 08/12/03 12:24 PM Share Posted 08/12/03 12:24 PM NEVER SAY TO A COP 1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas) 2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.3..................Aren't you the guy from the Village People? 4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job! 5. Are You Andy or Barney?6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer. 7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you? 8. I pay your salary! 9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too! 10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does. 11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no othercars around. That's how far ahead of me they are. 12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you beendrinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyeslook glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Falchoon I see red Member 5,758 Member For: 22y 2m 7d Location: nowhere in particular Posted 09/12/03 01:29 AM Share Posted 09/12/03 01:29 AM 12 Year Old Boy Sues Michael Jackson For Not Molesting HimBy Daily Hog StaffNovember 24, 2003The family of a 12 year old Southern California boy have launched a $28 million law suit against the King of Pop, Michael Jackson. Parents for the child in question contend there was a real and presumed threat that when they allowed their child to sleep in Michael Jackson's bed, he would be molested. Martin Goldenstein, the lawyer representing the family claims Jackson's lack of sexual interest in the boy has caused them undue financial hardship."If, as presumed and understood, Michael Jackson acted normally and molested my client, there would be grounds for a multi-million dollar out of court settlement. In this case, Jackson is guilty of not acting himself, and has in effect broken a contract to molest", says Goldenstein.Mark Geragos, the lawyer representing Jackson describes the law suit as frivolous, without merit and character assassination."These claims brought against my client will be proven false in a court of law. We have absolutely no plans whatsoever to settle this case out-of-court. I can tell you without any doubt whatsoever, Michael Jackson will fight this to the bitter end", said Geragos.An anonymous source close to the Jackson defense team says they have an ace in the hole that will prove his innocence. The source indicates Jackson's defense will place the burden of proof squarely on the victim. "Everyone knows Jacko drugged his victims before any act of molestation, keeping that in mind, how could anyone claim Jackson didn't molest them?", said the anonymous source. http://www.dailyhog.com/jackson_law_suit.htm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hambo_12 Member 317 Member For: 21y 4m 9d Posted 09/12/03 01:32 AM Share Posted 09/12/03 01:32 AM 12 Year Old Boy Sues Michael Jackson For Not Molesting Him He just cant win can he!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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