FPV6T UNDERCOAT CRUISER!!! Donating Members 1,655 Member For: 16y 19d Gender: Male Location: brisbane Posted 05/08/09 09:30 AM Share Posted 05/08/09 09:30 AM Nurses aren't supposed to laugh. "Okay then," Gary said and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest man thingie the nurse had ever seen. Length and width, it couldn't have been bigger than a AAA battery. Unable to control herself, the nurse started giggling then almost fell to the floor laughing. A few minutes later she was able to regain her composure. "I'm so sorry," said the nurse. "I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a nurse and a lady, I promise it won't happen again. Now tell me, what seems to be the problem?" "It's swollen," Gary replied. Things went downhill from there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tab Sucker Moderating Team 32,303 Member For: 20y 9m 11d Gender: Male Location: Brisbane Posted 12/08/09 11:35 AM Share Posted 12/08/09 11:35 AM Mostly oldies, coupla pissers though... --- VERY BRAVE MAN JOKES --- How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry It! What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A battery has a positive side. What are the three fastest means of communication? 1) Television2) Telephone 3) Telawoman How are fat girls and mopeds alike? They're both fun to ride until your friends find out. What should you give a woman who has everything? A man to show her how to work it. Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist? Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there. How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it. Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up? Because they don't have balls to scratch. Why do women fake orgasms ? Because they think men care. What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? Nothing, she's been told twice already. If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong? Made her chain too long How many men does it take to open a beer?None. It should be opened when she brings it. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...' How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven. Why do men pass gas more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told I married a Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.. It's called a Wedding Cake. Why do men die before their wives? They want to. Women will never be equal to men.. until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panda Eyes flame magnet Gold Donating Members 5,674 Member For: 16y 8m 20d Gender: Male Location: adelaide hills- 'race air' central Posted 12/08/09 12:57 PM Share Posted 12/08/09 12:57 PM why is divorce so expensive?cause its worth it.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panda Eyes flame magnet Gold Donating Members 5,674 Member For: 16y 8m 20d Gender: Male Location: adelaide hills- 'race air' central Posted 12/08/09 01:00 PM Share Posted 12/08/09 01:00 PM my wife said she wanted something with diamonds for our anniversary- so I got her a pack of cardsother day I came home and the wife said "my car wont start- I think theres water in the carbueretter" I asked-" what makes you say that?"she replied: "because its in the river". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nechromar Member 104 Member For: 15y 10m 22d Posted 13/08/09 12:52 AM Share Posted 13/08/09 12:52 AM The Lesbians next door,bought me a Rolex for my birthdayI think they misunderstood me when I said.I wanna watch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HIRO F6 Member 1,817 Member For: 16y 16d Gender: Male Location: Brisbane, QLD Posted 13/08/09 02:07 AM Share Posted 13/08/09 02:07 AM Your kidding arnt ya??? I went to post this same joke up and read it was the last joke on here! Got emailed it yesterday. Do you know a guy called Andy Clarke? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
qikin71 Member 60 Member For: 15y 6m 20d Gender: Male Location: Melbourne Posted 13/08/09 04:27 AM Share Posted 13/08/09 04:27 AM ALCOHOL BAD FOR LEGS Man goes into a cocktail lounge and approaches Maxine sitting by herself : Man: "May I buy you a cocktail?" Maxine: "No thank you, alcohol is bad for my legs." Man: "Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?" Maxine: "No, they spread ." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nechromar Member 104 Member For: 15y 10m 22d Posted 13/08/09 11:05 AM Share Posted 13/08/09 11:05 AM Your kidding arnt ya??? I went to post this same joke up and read it was the last joke on here! Got emailed it yesterday. Do you know a guy called Andy Clarke?Haha! I thought my friend made it up like near 2 weeks ago..I shall ask him..to see if 'borrowed' it from elsewhere.Pretty sure I don't know your friend.A 60 year old woman came home one day and heard strange noises in her bedroom. She opened the door and discovered her 40 year old daughter playing with a vibrator."What are you doing?" asked the mother."Mom, I'm 40 years old and look at me. I'm ugly. I'll never get married, so this is pretty much my husband." The mother walked out of the room, shaking her head.The next day, the father came home and heard noises in the bedroom and upon entering the room, found his daughter using the vibrator."What the hell are you doing?" he asked.His daughter replied, "I already told Mom. I'm 40 years old now and ugly. I will never get married, so this is as close as I'll ever get to a husband." The father walked out of the room shaking his head.The next day, the mother came home to find her husband with a beer in one hand and the vibrator in the other, watching a football game on TV."What on earth are you doing?" she cried.The husband replied, "What does it look like I'm going? I'm having a beer and watching football with my son-in-law! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dagabond Bored Member Administrator 35,722 Member For: 22y 2m 22d Gender: Male Location: Dé·jà vu Posted 13/08/09 11:19 AM Share Posted 13/08/09 11:19 AM Your kidding arnt ya??? I went to post this same joke up and read it was the last joke on here! Got emailed it yesterday. ...As did half the planet probably. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FPV6T UNDERCOAT CRUISER!!! Donating Members 1,655 Member For: 16y 19d Gender: Male Location: brisbane Posted 15/08/09 07:07 AM Share Posted 15/08/09 07:07 AM A blonde drops off a shirt at the cleaners.The Asian lady says 'come again'..... The blonde says 'no, its toothpaste this time you Nosey Bitch!' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now