KEN 24T Gandalf the Grey, Maiar of Manwë and Varda, Team HgAg/Sneaky Member 7,371 Member For: 21y 6m 3d Gender: Male Location: The Shire, Middle Earth Posted 24/01/04 10:48 PM Share Posted 24/01/04 10:48 PM Walker, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cobra potty trained Lifetime Members 1,938 Member For: 21y 8m 8d Gender: Male Posted 25/01/04 01:09 AM Share Posted 25/01/04 01:09 AM I must go through this thread at work on the ADSL .... cause I'm no doubt repeating old ones (my apologies)A construction worker came home just in time to find his wife in bedwith another man. So he dragged the man downthe stairs to the garage and put his *wet willy* in a vise. He securedit tightly and removed the handle. Then hepicked up a hacksaw. The man, terrified, screamed, "Stop! Stop! You'renot going to... to... cut it off, are you?!?!?!?!"The husband said, with a gleam of revenge in his eye, "Nope. You are!I'm going to set the garage on fire." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aniken I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it Donating Members 4,316 Member For: 22y 14d Gender: Male Location: Sydney, south west Posted 25/01/04 11:06 PM Share Posted 25/01/04 11:06 PM Latest pictures from the surface of Mars Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DallasQLD Lifetime Members 1,197 Member For: 22y 28d Gender: Male Location: Albany Creek QLD Posted 25/01/04 11:46 PM Share Posted 25/01/04 11:46 PM at least the queues should be shorter. Still will taste the same though.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarraGT Lifetime Members 359 Member For: 22y 2m 23d Gender: Male Location: Canberra, ACT Posted 27/01/04 05:57 AM Share Posted 27/01/04 05:57 AM I must go through this thread at work on the ADSL .... cause I'm no doubt repeating old ones (my apologies)A construction worker came home just in time to find his wife in bedwith another man. So he dragged the man downthe stairs to the garage and put his *wet willy* in a vise. He securedit tightly and removed the handle. Then hepicked up a hacksaw. The man, terrified, screamed, "Stop! Stop! You'renot going to... to... cut it off, are you?!?!?!?!"The husband said, with a gleam of revenge in his eye, "Nope. You are!I'm going to set the garage on fire." LOL! :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
axw01 Donating Members 127 Member For: 21y 9m 15d Location: Brisbane QLD Posted 27/01/04 12:01 PM Share Posted 27/01/04 12:01 PM Don't know if any of you guys have seen this, but I must insist that this warning is heeded to!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aniken I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it Donating Members 4,316 Member For: 22y 14d Gender: Male Location: Sydney, south west Posted 27/01/04 12:34 PM Share Posted 27/01/04 12:34 PM Don't know if any of you guys have seen this, but I must insist that this warning is heeded to!! Sash, can you organise to get a few of these printed up? :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Falchoon I see red Member 5,758 Member For: 22y 17d Location: nowhere in particular Posted 28/01/04 09:44 AM Share Posted 28/01/04 09:44 AM The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a honk if youlove Jesus bumper sticker.I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from athrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so Ibought the sticker and put in on my bumper.I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thoughtabout the Lord and how good He is and I didn't notice that the light hadchanged.It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'dnever have noticed.I found that LOTS of people love Jesus. Why, while I was sitting there, theguy behind started honking like crazy, and when he leaned out of his windowand screamed, "for the love of God, GO! GO!" What an exuberant cheerleaderhe was for Jesus.Everyone started honking! I just leaned out of my window and started wavingand smiling at all these loving people.I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love. There must havebeen a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling somethingabout a sunny beach...I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck upin the air. When I asked my teenage grandson in the back seat what thatmeant, he said that it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.Well, I've never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gavehim the good luck sign back.My grandson burst out laughing - why, even he was enjoying this religiousexperience.A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that theygot out of their cars and started walking towards me.I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when Inoticed the light had changed.So, I waved to all my sisters and brothers grinning, and drove on throughthe intersection.I noticed I was the only car that got through the intersection before thelight changed again, and I felt kind of sad that I had to leave them afterall the love we had shared. So I slowed the car down, leaned out of thewindow and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as Idrove away.Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
richdave SLOJAM, Gone but not forgotten Lifetime Members 1,841 Member For: 22y 2m 23d Gender: Male Location: Outer east - Melbourne Posted 29/01/04 05:47 AM Share Posted 29/01/04 05:47 AM A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they don't sell rectum deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more. "I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "we don't have any." "But, I always buy it here," says the blonde. "Do you have the container that it came in?" asks the pharmacist. "Yes," said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it." She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant" Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container......... "TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
richdave SLOJAM, Gone but not forgotten Lifetime Members 1,841 Member For: 22y 2m 23d Gender: Male Location: Outer east - Melbourne Posted 29/01/04 05:50 AM Share Posted 29/01/04 05:50 AM A man is lying in bed in the hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young nurse appears to sponge his hands and feet."Nurse", he mumbles from behind the mask, are my *beep* black?"Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I'm only here to wash your hands and feet"He struggles again to ask, nurse, are my *beep* black ?"Finally, she pulls back the covers, raises his gown, holds his pen*s in one hand and his *beep* in her other hand and takes a close look, and say's, "there's nothing wrong with them!"Finally, the man pulls off his oxygen mask and replies," that was very nice but,are... my...test...results...back" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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