Joke Of The Day

[turbo.vixen]

Four married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following

conversation took place.

First guy: ‘You have no idea what I had to do to be able to

come out fishing this weekend.

I had to promise my wife that I would paint every room in the

house next weekend.’

Second guy: ‘That is nothing, I had to promise my wife that

I would

build her a new deck for the pool.’

Third guy: ‘Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my

wife that I would remodel the kitchen for her.’

They continue to fish. When they realized that the fourth guy

has not said a word, they asked him,

‘You haven’t said anything about what you

had to do to

be able to come fishing this weekend. What’s the deal?’

Fourth guy: ‘I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went

off, I shut off my alarm, gave the

wife a slap on her butt and said: ‘Fishing or Sex?’ She

said: ‘Wear sun-block.’

[R-SPEC]

^ GOOD!

[turbo.vixen]

An Canadian golfer playing a round in Ireland hooked his drive into the woods. Looking for his ball, he found a little Leprechaun flat on his back, a big bump on his head and the golfer’s ball beside him.

Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle from the cart and poured it over the little guy, reviving him.

’Arrgh! What happened?’ the little Leprechaun asked.

‘I’m afraid I hit you with my golf ball,’ the golfer says.

’Oh, I see. Well, ye got me fair and square. Ye get three wishes, so whaddya want?’

’Thank God, you’re all right!’ the golfer answers in relief. ‘I don’t want anything, I’m just glad you’re OK, and I apologize.’ And the golfer walks off.

’What a nice guy,’ the Leprechaun says to himself. I have to do something for him. I’ll give him the three things I would want… a great golf game, all the money he ever needs, and a fantastic sex life.’

A year goes by (as it does in stories like this) and the golfer is back. On the same hole, he again hits a bad drive into the woods and the Leprechaun is there waiting for him.

’Twas me that made ye hit the ball here,’ the little guy says. ‘I just want to ask ye, how’s yer golf game?’

’My game is fantastic!’ the golfer answers. I’m an internationally famous golfer now.’ He adds, ‘By the way, it’s good to see you’re all right.’

’Oh, I’m fine now, thankye. I did that fer yer golf game, you know. And tell me, how’s yer money situation?’

’Why, it’s just wonderful!’ the golfer states. ‘When I need cash, I just reach in my pocket and pull out $100.00 bills I didn’t even know were there!’

’I did that fer ye also.’ And tell me, how’s yer sex life?’

The golfer blushes, turns his head away in embarrassment, and says shyly, ‘It’s OK.’

‘C’mon, c’mon now,’ urged the Leprechaun, ‘I’m wanting to know if I did a good job. How many times a week?’

Blushing even more, the golfer looks around then whispers, ‘Once, sometimes twice a week.’

’What??’ responds the Leprechaun in shock. ‘That’s all? Only once or twice a week?’

’Well,’ says the golfer, ‘I figure that’s not bad for a Catholic priest in a small parish.’

[ralfus90]

I was gunna type out that joke but couldnt be assed with all the typing and tryin to convert it to still be funny in print..lol good one!

[MaTTe]

Ok..

Theres a guy standing on the edge of the roof on a 40 story building..

And

Theres a guy receiving a blowjob from a 90 year old woman..

They're both thinking the EXACT same thing..

What is it?

Don't look down

[ralfus90]

whats the difference between pink and purple?

the grip....

[Superdan]

[ralfus90]

why do they call the area between a womans hips and breas*s a waist?

coz you could easily fit another set of tits there....

why do women get married in white?

always best when all the household appliances are the same colour....

why do women have small feet?

so they can stand closer to the sink.....

name the odd one out a tv a microwave fridge and a woman....

the tv why? coz the rest of them leak when they are fu(ked

Edited 26/11/08 09:50 AM by ralfus90

[Guest]

[exarsixturbo]

Why are woman like clouds?

Because eventually they piss off and it's a nice day!