Joke Of The Day

[senna_T]

yeah but they'll love it, hopeless saps

[Dagabond]

I'm not going soft, but sometimes I like these heartwarming stories, and this one truly is amazing. Enjoy

In 1986, Dan Harrison was on holiday inKenya after graduating from Northwestern University .

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Dan approached it very carefully.

He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.

As carefully and as gently as he could, Dan worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.

The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments.

Dan stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.

Dan never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Dan was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenage son.

As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Dan and his son Dan Jr. were standing.

The large bull elephant stared at Dan , lifted its front foot off the ground, and then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Dan couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant.

Dan summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Dan's legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn't the same elephant.......

[Buf-Phoon]

[senna_T]

[RegSpec]

A Muslim was seated next to an Australian on a flight from Hong Kong

to Sydney, Australia.

After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Aussie

asked for a rum and coke, which was brought and placed before him.

The flight attendant then asked the Muslim if he would like a drink.

He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen

whores than let liquor touch my lips."

The Aussie handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me too,

I didn't know we had a choice."

[rapidmkII]

Funnay

[SHOWDOWN]

A retired Italian wine maker went to the village church to make his

confession for the first time in many decades. When the priest slid open

the panel in the confessional, the man said, "Father, during World War

II, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from

the enemy.

I hid her in my attic."

The priest replied, "That was a wonderful thing you did, my son! You

have no need to confess it."

"It's worse than that, Father," he continued. "She quickly started to

repay me with sexual favors."

"People in wartime sometimes act in ways they wouldn't under normal

conditions. If you are truly sorry for your actions, you are forgiven."

"Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind. May I ask a

question?"

"What, my son?"

"She is pretty old now, should I tell her the war is over?"

[senna_T]

very funny - its a niiiice!

[ENVY-T]

I purchased a Teddy Bear this morning for the princely sum of $10.

I named him Mohammed.

This afternoon I sold him on E-Bay for $30.

My question is, "Have I made a prophet?"

[tab]

Not sure if this was meant to be humorous - but just got the latest chain email antivirus warning:

---------------------------

PLEASE FORWARD THIS WARNING:

You should be alert during the next days:

Do not open any message with an attached file called "Merry Christmas"

regardless of who sent it, It is a virus that opens as an Open Log Fire

and will burn the whole hard disc in your computer.

This virus will be received from someone who has your e-mail address

in his/her contact list, that is why you should send this e-mail to all

your contacts. It is better to receive this message 25 times than to

receive the virus and open it.

If you receive a mail called "Merry Christmas", though sent by a friend, do

not open it and shut down your computer immediately. This is the worst

virus announced, it has been classified by Microsoft as the most

destructive virus ever.

This virus was discovered by McAfee yesterday, and there is no repair

yet for this kind of virus. This virus simply destroys the Zero Sector

of the Hard Disc, where the vital information is kept