Falchoon I see red Member 5,758 Member For: 21y 11m 17d Location: nowhere in particular Posted 25/09/03 05:47 AM Share Posted 25/09/03 05:47 AM These are from a book called Disorder in the Court, and are things peopleactually paid in court, word for word, taken down and now published bycourt reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchangeswere actually taking place.Some of these are excellent - don't miss the last oneQ: What is your date of birth?A: July 15th.Q: What year?A: Every year.Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?A: Yes.Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?A: I forget.Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you'veforgotten?Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.Q: How long has he lived with you?A: Forty-five years.Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up thatmorning?A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"Q: And why did that upset you?A: My name is Susan.Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or theoccult?A: We both do.Q: Voodoo?A: We do.Q: You do?A: Yes, voodoo.Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, hedoesn't know about it until the next morning?Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?A: Yes.Q: And what were you doing at that time?Q: She had three children, right?A: Yes.Q: How many were boys?A: None.Q: Were there any girls?Q: How was your first marriage terminated?A: By death.Q: And by whose death was it terminated?Q: Can you describe the individual?A: He was about medium height and had a beard.Q: Was this a male, or a female?Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition noticewhich I sent to your attorney?A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?A: Oral.Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p. m.Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?A: No.Q: Did you check for blood pressure?A: No.Q: Did you check for breathing?A: No.Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began theautopsy?A: No.Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing lawsomewhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Falchoon I see red Member 5,758 Member For: 21y 11m 17d Location: nowhere in particular Posted 25/09/03 11:07 PM Share Posted 25/09/03 11:07 PM Finding Nemo (don't look kiddies...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJ_Phantom Member 208 Member For: 21y 3m 14d Location: ACT Posted 26/09/03 05:09 AM Share Posted 26/09/03 05:09 AM Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are excited about their decision to get married....They go for a stroll to discuss the weddingand on the way they pass a Chemist....... Jacob suggests they go in.Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?"The pharmacist answers "Yes".Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"Pharmacist: "Of course we do."Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"Pharmacist: "All kinds."Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis?"Pharmacist: "Definitely."Jacob: "How about Viagra?"Pharmacist: "Of course."Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?"Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety..... the works!"Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, antidotes for Parkinson's Disease?"Pharmacist: "Absolutely."Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers?"Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes..... why do you ask,..... is there something I can help you with?"Jacob says to the pharmacist: "We'd like to nominate your store as our Bridal Gift Registry." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRSICKT Member 1,032 Member For: 21y 7m 19d Gender: Male Location: Sydney Posted 30/09/03 01:39 PM Author Share Posted 30/09/03 01:39 PM I have a few brain teasers here, see if you can work them out, post your comments/answers and I'll post the answers in a few day when everyone's had a go...1. Six Eggs Here is the solution Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRSICKT Member 1,032 Member For: 21y 7m 19d Gender: Male Location: Sydney Posted 30/09/03 01:40 PM Author Share Posted 30/09/03 01:40 PM 2. Whos the murdererWe had this one on before but I don't remember wether or not we ever came up with the answer, well if we did here it is again for the newbies and if we didn't, you'll know in a few days. Here is the solution Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRSICKT Member 1,032 Member For: 21y 7m 19d Gender: Male Location: Sydney Posted 30/09/03 01:40 PM Author Share Posted 30/09/03 01:40 PM 3. Glasses of OJ Here is the solution Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRSICKT Member 1,032 Member For: 21y 7m 19d Gender: Male Location: Sydney Posted 30/09/03 01:41 PM Author Share Posted 30/09/03 01:41 PM 4. How did he do it? Here is the solution Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRSICKT Member 1,032 Member For: 21y 7m 19d Gender: Male Location: Sydney Posted 30/09/03 01:43 PM Author Share Posted 30/09/03 01:43 PM The Strength Of a Mother's Love Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRSICKT Member 1,032 Member For: 21y 7m 19d Gender: Male Location: Sydney Posted 30/09/03 01:44 PM Author Share Posted 30/09/03 01:44 PM Finding Nemo (don't look kiddies...) :lol: :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRSICKT Member 1,032 Member For: 21y 7m 19d Gender: Male Location: Sydney Posted 30/09/03 01:46 PM Author Share Posted 30/09/03 01:46 PM Hi,I haven't said anything to people about this before because I wanted to waituntil everything had been completed - I have purchased a one bedroomproperty in Noosa as an investment property.I thought I'd would send out an e-mail to my friends in case you'reinterested in renting...it's available for weekends or on a weekly basis.Initially I will be handling the bookings, until I can find an agent in thearea to manage the property. Weekends will cost approximately $75 (matesrates) for two nights, and $225 for the week, at least up until the end ofthe year.It's a one bed on the first level, (no lift sorry) but has lovely sea viewsetc. Attached is a photo, so let me know if you are interested. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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