aniken I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it Donating Members 4,316 Member For: 21y 11m 14d Gender: Male Location: Sydney, south west Posted 21/09/03 11:53 AM Share Posted 21/09/03 11:53 AM One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed.She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't, dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CJF077 The Noble Leader Administrator 4,785 Member For: 22y 1m 22d Gender: Male Location: Sydney Australia Posted 22/09/03 03:49 AM Share Posted 22/09/03 03:49 AM One for the boys! :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KEN 24T Gandalf the Grey, Maiar of Manwë and Varda, Team HgAg/Sneaky Member 7,371 Member For: 21y 5m 4d Gender: Male Location: The Shire, Middle Earth Posted 22/09/03 03:50 AM Share Posted 22/09/03 03:50 AM One for the boys! :D Suddenly, I'm very thirsty! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
richdave SLOJAM, Gone but not forgotten Lifetime Members 1,841 Member For: 22y 1m 24d Gender: Male Location: Outer east - Melbourne Posted 22/09/03 08:38 AM Share Posted 22/09/03 08:38 AM One for the boys! :DSuddenly, I'm very thirsty! me too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aniken I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it Donating Members 4,316 Member For: 21y 11m 14d Gender: Male Location: Sydney, south west Posted 22/09/03 10:37 AM Share Posted 22/09/03 10:37 AM How many men does it take to open a beer?None -- It should be opened by the time she brings it.-------------------------------In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.Then God created Man and rested.Then God created Woman.Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.-------------------------------Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.-------------------------------Why do women have smaller feet than men?It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.-------------------------------How do you know when a woman is about to say Something smart?When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."-------------------------------How do you fix a woman's watch?You don't. There is a clock on the oven.-------------------------------If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?The dog, of course.He'll shut up once you let him in.-------------------------------What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?A woman who won't do what she's told.-------------------------------I married Miss Right.I just didn't know her first name was Always.-------------------------------I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months:I don't like to interrupt her.-------------------------------Scientists have discovered a foodthat diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.It's called a Wedding Cake.-------------------------------Marriage is a 3-ring circus:Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.-------------------------------Our last fight was my fault:My wife asked me, "What's on the TV?"I said, "Dust!"-------------------------------Why do men die before their wives?They want to.-------------------------------A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said, "I haven't eaten anything for days."She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."-------------------------------Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"Dad: "That happens in every country, son."-------------------------------A man inserted an advertisement in the classified:"Wife Wanted."The next day he received a hundred letters.They all said the same thing:"You can have mine."-------------------------------The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.-------------------------------Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aniken I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it Donating Members 4,316 Member For: 21y 11m 14d Gender: Male Location: Sydney, south west Posted 22/09/03 10:39 AM Share Posted 22/09/03 10:39 AM In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was well known for his wisdom. One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance who said excitedly,"Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?"Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before telling me anything I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test.""Triple filter?""That's right," Socrates continued "Before you talk to me about my student, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you're going to say." The first filter is Truth. "Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?""No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and ...""All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not.Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?""No, on the contrary ...""So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him, but you're not certain it's true. You may still pass the test though, because there's one filter left: the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?""No, not really.""Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?"This is why Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.It also explains why he never found out that Plato was banging his wife.Illegitimi non Carborundum (anybody know Latin??) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRSICKT Member 1,032 Member For: 21y 7m 19d Gender: Male Location: Sydney Posted 22/09/03 02:24 PM Author Share Posted 22/09/03 02:24 PM :o I was looking for an old joke to quote and then noticed 20 pages are missing off the thread. I'm sure the'll turn upp soon, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRSICKT Member 1,032 Member For: 21y 7m 19d Gender: Male Location: Sydney Posted 22/09/03 02:29 PM Author Share Posted 22/09/03 02:29 PM I have a few brain teasers here, see if you can work them out, post your comments/answers and I'll post the answers in a few day when everyone's had a go...1. Six Eggs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRSICKT Member 1,032 Member For: 21y 7m 19d Gender: Male Location: Sydney Posted 22/09/03 02:31 PM Author Share Posted 22/09/03 02:31 PM 2. Whos the murdererWe had this one on before but I don't remember wether or not we ever came up with the answer, well if we did here it is again for the newbies and if we didn't, you'll know in a few days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRSICKT Member 1,032 Member For: 21y 7m 19d Gender: Male Location: Sydney Posted 22/09/03 02:32 PM Author Share Posted 22/09/03 02:32 PM 3. Glasses of OJ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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