Joke Of The Day

[HellionXR6T]

Poor tab, never had a wife so wouldn't understand ... actually, what am I saying? LUCKY B@ST@RD tab has never had a wife ...

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How many times have you been through that? And you call me silly

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I'll 2nd that. Once was enuf.

[ENVY-T]

I failed my first agriculture exam today. Up until now I thought a rotary hoe was some bitch you f*cked in the back of an RX7!

[F6 UTE]

I failed my first agriculture exam today. Up until now I thought a rotary hoe was some bitch you f*cked in the back of an RX7!

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I'll pay that..

[F6 UTE]

A survey was conducted as to why men like he@d jobs.

10% like the feeling

12% like the dominance

78% enjoy the F&*%ing silence..

[G6ET8U]

A survey was conducted as to why men like he@d jobs.

10% like the feeling

12% like the dominance

78% enjoy the F&*%ing silence..

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Jack

[mbjunior99]

[Turbo6man]

A survey was conducted as to why men like he@d jobs.

10% like the feeling

12% like the dominance

78% enjoy the F&*%ing silence..

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Actually, ... I like to hear 'em gag.

[Guest FatBAt]

Only in America

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A Charlotte, NC, lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive

cigars, then insured them against fire among other things.

Within a month having smoked his entire stockpile of these great

cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on

the policy, the lawyer filed claim against the insurance company.

In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of

small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious

reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.

Unbelievably, the lawyer sued ... and won!

In delivering the ruling the judge agreed with the insurance company

that the claim was frivolous.

The Judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the

company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and

also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without

defining what is considered to be "unacceptable fire,"

and was obligated to pay the claim.

Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance

company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss

of the rare cigars lost in the "fires."

NOW FOR THE BEST PART...

After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him

arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!

With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case

being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally

burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail

and a $24,000 fine.

This is a true story and was the 1st place winner in the recent

Criminal Lawyers Award Contest!

Isn't life ironic! ;-)

[Dagabond]

Who is Smarter ?? Man Or Woman

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog told her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes.

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get it ten times!"

The woman said, "That's okay."

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to".

The woman replied, "That's okay,

because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me."

So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you. " The woman said, That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."

So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack!" Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them!

Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good!

Male readers: Please scroll down.

JUST MALE PLEASE

The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!

Moral of the story:

Women are really dumb but think they're really smart! Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show!

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!

[aniken]

While watching the football the other night my wife and I were discussing life and death.

I told her, "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and relying on fluids from a bottle.

If that ever happens, just switch off the machine."

She promptly got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all my beer.

Some days I hate being married to a smart bitch.