Joke Of The Day

[dankman]

and then what happened??????

I always hate it when I miss the punchline :lol:

EDIT: The post I was refering to has been removed now.

Edited 10/09/03 12:22 AM by dankman

[aniken]

There are many different types of women in the world:

HARD-DISK Woman:

She remembers everything, FOREVER.

RAM Woman:

She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.

WINDOWS Woman:

Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right,

but no one can live without her.

EXCEL Woman:

They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use her

for your four basic needs.

SCREENSAVER Woman:

She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!

INTERNET Woman:

Difficult to access.

SERVER Woman:

Always busy when you need her.

MULTIMEDIA Woman:

She makes horrible things look beautiful.

CD-ROM Woman:

She is always faster and faster.

E-MAIL Woman:

Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.

VIRUS Woman:

Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources.

If you try to uninstall her you will lose something,

if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything............

[JJ_Phantom]

>I went to the shop the other day, and I was in there for only about 5

>minutes.

>

>

>When I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket.

>

>

>So I went up to him and said, "Come on, mate, how about giving a bloke a

>break?"

>

>

>He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.

>

>

>So I called him a pencil-necked Nazi. He glared at me and started writing

>another ticket for worn tyres!

>

>

>So I called him a piece of horse sh*t. He finished the second ticket and

>put it on the windscreen with the first. Then he started writing a third

>ticket!

>

>

>This went on for about 20 minutes... the more I abused him, the more

>tickets he wrote.

>

>

>I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner.

>I try to have a little fun each day. It's important.

[Falchoon]

LOL @ women - good one aniken!

[richdave]

Because I want to see you live on $800 a year.

me too

[aniken]

Great new program I installed today. Sample menu attached

[aniken]

very specific warning sign

[aniken]

Ken's home office?

[aniken]

A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory exploration. With their eyes closed, they feel objects from pumice stones to pine cones and smell aromatic herbs and exotic fruits. Then one day, the teacher brought in a great variety of lifesavers, more flavors than you could ever imagine.

"Children, I'd like you to close your eyes and taste these," announced the teacher. Without difficulty, they managed to identify the taste of cherries, lemons, and mint, but when the teacher had them put honey flavored lifesavers in their mouths, every one of the children was stumped.

"I'll give you a hint," said the teacher. "It's something your Daddy and Mommy probably call each other all the time."

Instantly, one of the children spat the lifesaver out of his mouth and shouted, "Spit 'em out, you guys, they're @ssholes!"

[Falchoon]

A Chinese couple gets married - and she's a virgin.

He is none too experienced either. On the wedding night, she cowers naked

under the bed sheets as her husband undresses. He climbs in next to her and

tries to be reassuring.

"My darring" he says, "I know dis yo firs time and you berry frighten. I

promise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting you say. Whatchu

want?" he says, trying to sound experienced, which he hopes will impress his

virgin bride.

A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her

request. She eventually replies shyly and unsure, "I want ......numba 69".

More thoughtful silence this time from him. Eventually, in a puzzled tone he

queries....You want... Beef wif Broccori!????"