Joke Of The Day

[turbotom]

In pharmacology, all drugs have two names..... a trade name and generic name.

For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen.

Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.

After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin.

Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer.

It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.

Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink".

Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research.

This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

[Dagabond]

What am I?

I AM

8

INCHES

LONG.

MY FUNCTIONING IS

ENJOYED

BY

MEMBERS

OF

BOTH

SEXES.

I AM

USUALLY FOUND HUNG,

DANGLING

LOOSLEY

READY FOR

INSTANT

ACTION.

I BOAST A CLUMP OF

LITTLE

HAIRY

THINGS

AT

ONE

END

AND

A SMALL

HOLE AT THE OTHER.

IN USE

I AM

INSERTED,

ALMOST

ALWAYS

WILLINGLY, SOMETIMES SLOWLY,

SOMETIMES

QUICKLY,

INTO

A

WARM,

FLESHY, MOIST OPENING WHERE

I AM

THRUST

IN

AND

DRAWN

OUT

AGAIN

AND AGAIN MANY TIMES IN

SUCCESSION,

OFTEN

QUICKLY

AND

ACCOMPANIED BY SQUIRMING BODILY MOVEMENTS.

ANYONE

FOUND

LISTENING IN WILL MOST SURELY

RECOGNIZE

THE

RHYTHMIC,

PULSING

SOUND, RESULTING FROM THE

WELL

LUBRICATED

MOVEMENTS.

WHEN

FINALLY WITHDRAWN, IT LEAVES

BEHIND

A

JUICY,

FROTHY,

WHITE

STICKY

SUBSTANCE, SOME OF WHICH WILL

NEED

CLEANING FROM

THE

OUTER

SURFACES OF THE OPENING AND

SOME

FROM

MY

LONG

GLISTENING

SHAFT.

AFTER EVERYTHING IS

DONE

AND

THE

FLOWING

AND

CLEANSING

LIQUIDS HAVE CEASED

EMANATING,

I AM

RETURNED

TO

MY

FREELY

HANGING STATE OF REST,

READY

FOR YET

ANOTHER

BIT

OF

ACTION,

HOPEFULLY REACHING MY

BRISTLING

CLIMAX

TWICE

OR

THREE

TIMES A

DAY, BUT OFTEN MUCH LESS.

WHAT AM I???????

AS YOU MAY HAVE ALREADY

GUESSED,

THE

ANSWER !

TO

THE

RIDDLE

IS

NONE OTHER THAN YOUR VERY OWN..........

TOOTHBRUSH.........

What were you

Thinking?

[XR68UZ]

I was thinking it was a pen*s?

[tab]

[XR6TT]

I got epelepsy from reading that post

[Fat-Tony]

What am I?

I AM

8

INCHES

LONG.

MY FUNCTIONING IS

ENJOYED

BY

MEMBERS

OF

BOTH

SEXES.

I AM

USUALLY FOUND HUNG,

DANGLING

LOOSLEY

READY FOR

INSTANT

ACTION.

I BOAST A CLUMP OF

LITTLE

HAIRY

THINGS

AT

ONE

END

AND

A SMALL

HOLE AT THE OTHER.

IN USE

I AM

INSERTED,

ALMOST

ALWAYS

WILLINGLY, SOMETIMES SLOWLY,

SOMETIMES

QUICKLY,

INTO

A

WARM,

FLESHY, MOIST OPENING WHERE

I AM

THRUST

IN

AND

DRAWN

OUT

AGAIN

AND AGAIN MANY TIMES IN

SUCCESSION,

OFTEN

QUICKLY

AND

ACCOMPANIED BY SQUIRMING BODILY MOVEMENTS.

ANYONE

FOUND

LISTENING IN WILL MOST SURELY

RECOGNIZE

THE

RHYTHMIC,

PULSING

SOUND, RESULTING FROM THE

WELL

LUBRICATED

MOVEMENTS.

WHEN

FINALLY WITHDRAWN, IT LEAVES

BEHIND

A

JUICY,

FROTHY,

WHITE

STICKY

SUBSTANCE, SOME OF WHICH WILL

NEED

CLEANING FROM

THE

OUTER

SURFACES OF THE OPENING AND

SOME

FROM

MY

LONG

GLISTENING

SHAFT.

AFTER EVERYTHING IS

DONE

AND

THE

FLOWING

AND

CLEANSING

LIQUIDS HAVE CEASED

EMANATING,

I AM

RETURNED

TO

MY

FREELY

HANGING STATE OF REST,

READY

FOR YET

ANOTHER

BIT

OF

ACTION,

HOPEFULLY REACHING MY

BRISTLING

CLIMAX

TWICE

OR

THREE

TIMES A

DAY, BUT OFTEN MUCH LESS.

WHAT AM I???????

AS YOU MAY HAVE ALREADY

GUESSED,

THE

ANSWER !

TO

THE

RIDDLE

IS

NONE OTHER THAN YOUR VERY OWN..........

TOOTHBRUSH.........

What were you

Thinking?

←

so this is what the quote button does

[veczar]

My toothbrush isn't 8"s hmmm

[markxr6t]

I enjoyed this one:

Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up."

"Sure," they said, "You're welcome to play along."

So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer. Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcommer, "What do you do for a living?"

"I'm a hit man," was the reply.

"You're joking!" was the response.

"No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here are my tools."

"That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here."

So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house. "Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic.

"I can see right in the window. Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha ha, I can see she's naked!! Wait a minute,, that's my neighbour in there with her..........He's naked, too!!! The*********!"

He turned to the hitman, "How much do you charge for a hit?"

"I'll do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger."

"Can you do two for me or not?"

"Sure, what do you want?"

"First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth. Then the neighbour, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson."

The hitman took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.

"Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend inpatiently.

"Just be patient," said the hitman calmly, "I think I can save you a grand here."

[XR68UZ]

hahaha!

[Fat-Tony]