aniken I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it Donating Members 4,316 Member For: 22y 1m 21d Gender: Male Location: Sydney, south west Posted 10/08/03 12:43 AM Share Posted 10/08/03 12:43 AM If you think life is bad....... How would you like to be an egg?* You only get laid once.* You only get eaten once.* It takes 4 minutes to get hard.* Only 2 minutes to get soft.* You share your box with 11 other guys.But worst of all.....* The only chick that ever sat on your face was your mother.So cheer up.....Your life ain't that bad!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExAreSix TRAITOR Member 1,063 Member For: 22y 3m 22d Gender: Male Location: Townsville, NQ Posted 10/08/03 01:22 AM Share Posted 10/08/03 01:22 AM WARNING, Wee bit of language. I was heading out for a night on the town with the boys. The missus demamded that I be home by 11pm sharp. I promised her I'd be on time.But alas, I got absolutely sh*tfaced and stumbled in the front door around 2am. I figured if I was nice and quiet I could get up stairs and into bed without the missus even waking up.Then to my horror the cuckoo clock cuckooed twice announcing it was 2am. Thinking it would probably wake the missus, and being the quick thinkier I am, I cuckooed 9 more times.Quite pleased with how smart I am, even while p*ssed, I snuck upstairs and into bed.The next morning the missus seemed happy, and brought me my breakfast. I thought to myself "Phew, got away with that one!'Then she says to me that the cuckoo clock will need fixing. When I asked her why she replied,"Well, last night it cuckooed twice, said 'Oh Sh*t', cuckooed 3 more times, burped, cuckooed 4 times more, giggled to itself, then cuckooed twice more and said 'I am a f*ck*ng genius'" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRSICKT Member 1,032 Member For: 21y 9m 26d Gender: Male Location: Sydney Posted 10/08/03 09:01 AM Author Share Posted 10/08/03 09:01 AM Chips for chicksI wonder whats in em ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Falchoon I see red Member 5,758 Member For: 22y 1m 24d Location: nowhere in particular Posted 10/08/03 10:19 PM Share Posted 10/08/03 10:19 PM Oh yeh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aniken I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it Donating Members 4,316 Member For: 22y 1m 21d Gender: Male Location: Sydney, south west Posted 10/08/03 10:27 PM Share Posted 10/08/03 10:27 PM Oh yeh! A clear warning to other drivers: STAY AWAY :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRSICKT Member 1,032 Member For: 21y 9m 26d Gender: Male Location: Sydney Posted 11/08/03 04:39 AM Author Share Posted 11/08/03 04:39 AM I'll be sure to give her the invisible space bubble as mentioned in the learners driver handbook Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turbo6man Lifetime Members 4,084 Member For: 22y 4m Gender: Male Location: South Coast NSW Posted 11/08/03 08:36 AM Share Posted 11/08/03 08:36 AM Cyril was unable to sleep, tossing and turning, his mind very troubled. One voice kept reassuring him that it wasn't the first time a doctor had slept with one of his patients. While another kept reminding him that he was a veterinarian. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KEN 24T Gandalf the Grey, Maiar of Manwë and Varda, Team HgAg/Sneaky Member 7,371 Member For: 21y 7m 11d Gender: Male Location: The Shire, Middle Earth Posted 11/08/03 08:44 AM Share Posted 11/08/03 08:44 AM Cyril was unable to sleep, tossing and turning, his mind very troubled. One voice kept reassuring him that it wasn't the first time a doctor had slept with one of his patients. While another kept reminding him that he was a veterinarian. New Zealander? :o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turbo6man Lifetime Members 4,084 Member For: 22y 4m Gender: Male Location: South Coast NSW Posted 11/08/03 08:56 AM Share Posted 11/08/03 08:56 AM OK, for you Ken ...A New Zealand farmer is at his local and having a real binge. A tourist notices he is down in the dumps and thinks he'll just try to cheer him up so he asks what the farmer's problems are.This is the explanation he received..."Well, you see that fence out there? I built that fence twenty years ago with me own two hands, dug the holes by hand, cut the timbers by hand, no chainsaws or post hole diggers in those days. But do they call me Sean the fence builder? NO.You see that pier running out into the bay over there? I built that pier myself ten years ago, driving the piles at low tide, working waist deep in water, cold water it was too, and with barely hand tools to do the job. But do they call me Sean the wharf builder? NO.But a man shags just one sheep .... " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aniken I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it Donating Members 4,316 Member For: 22y 1m 21d Gender: Male Location: Sydney, south west Posted 11/08/03 10:16 AM Share Posted 11/08/03 10:16 AM How many have you knocked off recently? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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