Joke Of The Day

[richdave]

concludes that there's just no pleasing some women...

So you have met MY wife then.... :lol: :lol:

[KEN 24T]

concludes that there's just no pleasing some women...

So you have met MY wife then.... :lol: :lol:

No, but I'd like to ... :lol:

[Dagabond]

KENNY THE ROOSTER

This farmer has about 500 hens, but no rooster, and he wants chicks

badly. So, he goes down the road to the next farm and asks if they

have a rooster that they would sell.

The other farmer says, "Yes, I've got this great rooster, named Kenny.

He'll service every chicken you've got, no problem."

Trouble is, Kenny the rooster costs $3,000, a lot of money, but the Farmer

decides he'd be worth it. So, he buys Kenny.

The farmer takes Kenny home and sets him down in the barnyard, but

first he gave the rooster a pep talk. "I want you to pace yourself now.

You've got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of

money.

Consequently, I'll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and

Have some fun," the farmer said, with a chuckle.

Kenny seems to understand, so the farmer points toward the hen house and

Kenny takes off like a shot. WHAM! Kenny nails every hen in the hen

house - three or four times, and the farmer is really shocked.

After that, the farmer hears a commotion in the duck pen and, sure enough,

Kenny is in there.

Later, the farmer sees Kenny after a flock of geese down by the lake.

Once again - WHAM! - All the geese get it. By sunset he sees Kenny out in

the fields chasing quail and pheasants.

The farmer is distraught and worried that his expensive rooster won't even

last the night. Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next

morning to find Kenny on his back out in the middle of the yard, mouth open,

tongue hanging out and both feet sticking straight up in the air with

Buzzards circling overhead.

The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colourful and expensive animal,

shakes his head and says, "Oh, Kenny, I told you to pace yourself. I tried

to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself."

Kenny slowly opens one eye, nods toward the buzzards circling in the sky

above and says, "Shut it, you're scarrin the f@nny away."

[KEN 24T]

Why girls and computers don't mix ...

[KEN 24T]

WARNING: Strong Language, Adult Themes and some damn good advice! :o

[KEN 24T]

Career opportunity?

[aniken]

The real replacement for Blueprint - new addition to the Falcon colour range

[DavoWA]

The real replacement for Blueprint - new addition to the Falcon colour range

Now THAT'S the reason Blueprint is the REAL colour to have.

What's the Mercury Silver going to turn into?? :spacecraft:

Al, Ken.........where are you going?? You can't buy that in a spray can. :lol:

[richdave]

The real replacement for Blueprint - new addition to the Falcon colour range

Yeah seen that one..its called Boobprint........ :lol: :lol:

[Falchoon]

CLASSIC VERSION :

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

THE MODERN AUSTRALIAN VERSION :

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate like him are cold and starving.

The ABC and Channel 9 show up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper, with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home with a table filled with food.

Australians are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.

The Democrats, the Greens and the Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate in front of the ant's house.

The ABC, interrupting an Aboriginal cultural festival special from North Queensland with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall Overcome."

Bob Brown rants in an interview with Yana Went that the ant has gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share."

In response to polls, the Liberal Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. And the ALP quickly passes it through the Senate.

The ant's taxes are reassessed and he is also fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as helpers.

Without enough money to pay both the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

The ant moves to Asia, and starts a successful agribiz company.

The TV stations later show the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of the ant's food though Spring is still months away, while the government owned house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he hadn't maintained it.

Inadequate government funding is blamed, Kim Beasley now is appointed to head a commission of enquiry that will cost $10,000,000.

The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Sydney Morning Herald blames it on obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity.

The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders, praised by the government for enriching Australia's multicultural diversity, who promptly terrorize the community.

Who says we don't live in a democracy?