Falchoon I see red Member 5,758 Member For: 22y 1m 3d Location: nowhere in particular Posted 21/07/03 03:44 AM Share Posted 21/07/03 03:44 AM The cheque is in the mail.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
richdave SLOJAM, Gone but not forgotten Lifetime Members 1,841 Member For: 22y 3m 10d Gender: Male Location: Outer east - Melbourne Posted 21/07/03 04:59 AM Share Posted 21/07/03 04:59 AM A Marine stationed in Afghanistan recently received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend back home.It read as follows: Dear Ricky,I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you. Love, BeckyThe Marine, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow Marines for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters, ex-girlfriends, aunts, cousins etc. In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies.There were 57 photos in that envelope....along with this note:Dear Becky,I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who you are. Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.Take Care,Ricky Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aniken I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it Donating Members 4,316 Member For: 22y 1m Gender: Male Location: Sydney, south west Posted 21/07/03 06:49 AM Share Posted 21/07/03 06:49 AM Fresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror, complaining to her husband that her breas*s are too small. Instead of characteristically telling her it's not so, her husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion."If you want your breas*s to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breas*s for a few seconds."Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breas*s."How long will this take?" she asks."They will grow larger over a period of years," he replies.The wife stops. "Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breas*s every day will make my breas*s larger over the years?"Without missing a beat the husband says, "Worked for your butt, didn't it?"...He lives, and with a great deal of therapy, may even walk again.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aniken I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it Donating Members 4,316 Member For: 22y 1m Gender: Male Location: Sydney, south west Posted 21/07/03 06:55 AM Share Posted 21/07/03 06:55 AM A new career for Ken??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KEN 24T Gandalf the Grey, Maiar of Manwë and Varda, Team HgAg/Sneaky Member 7,371 Member For: 21y 6m 21d Gender: Male Location: The Shire, Middle Earth Posted 21/07/03 07:00 AM Share Posted 21/07/03 07:00 AM A new career for Ken???Hey! Aim higher, higher ... oh god, please aim higher ... stop that ... not funny ... higher you bastards! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turbo6man Lifetime Members 4,084 Member For: 22y 3m 10d Gender: Male Location: South Coast NSW Posted 21/07/03 08:19 AM Share Posted 21/07/03 08:19 AM A woman places an add in the Personal Columns of her local paper -“I am a totally disillusioned woman. I have been used, abused and then discarded by many a worthless man - where am I ever to find happiness? Is there a “perfect” man out there for me, one who will not bash me, not leave me for a younger woman in five years time, and who is a great lover?”A man replied to the add and she agreed to have him over for an interview.The doorbell rings and she looks through her peephole, but seeing no-one she doesn’t open the door, thinking it was just those nuisance kids playing silly games again.The doorbell rings again, she again looks through the peephole without seeing anyone, but just as she is about to turn away she notices the top of a persons head - a very short person indeed.She opens the door and on her front doorstep is a man with no arms or legs, “I’m the man who replied to your add” he says.Stunned for a moment she then asks, “Well OK, so what makes you qualified to answer my add for the “perfect” man? You don’t even have arms or legs!”“Well”, he says, “having no arms means I will NEVER hit you and having no legs means I will NEVER run off with another woman”.“Hmmm”, she thinks aloud, “But what makes you think you can make such a great lover?”“I rang the doorbell didn’t I?” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRSICKT Member 1,032 Member For: 21y 9m 5d Gender: Male Location: Sydney Posted 21/07/03 11:07 AM Author Share Posted 21/07/03 11:07 AM A new career for Ken??? isn't that shops and homes over the fence behing that target ohhh, and poor Ken too :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRSICKT Member 1,032 Member For: 21y 9m 5d Gender: Male Location: Sydney Posted 21/07/03 11:13 AM Author Share Posted 21/07/03 11:13 AM “I rang the doorbell didn’t I?” :lol: imagine what that woman's reaction would be :oohwoah: :iloveit: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
axw01 Donating Members 127 Member For: 21y 10m 2d Location: Brisbane QLD Posted 21/07/03 01:15 PM Share Posted 21/07/03 01:15 PM Never trust your mates!!>>>>>>>>>READ THIS FIRST, THEN LOOK AT THE PICTURE..>>>>>>>>>In Sweden it is a bit of a custom for the groom to be kidnapped and>>>whisked off somewhere for his stag night - these usually last all day...>>>.. and all night. Rather than the typical English stag night where you>>>all arrange it beforehand, go out get drunk and hire a stripper, the>>>Swedes do it differently. The groom has no idea until he gets nabbed. He>>>might be dressed up in something crazy, and go do something fun...and>>>then the fun starts!>>>>>>This particular guy is a keen sailor and when he was kidnapped for his>>>stag night they pasted a false "skippers-beard" on him and put him at>>>the helm of a 60 foot yacht and let him be skipper for the day - much>>>beer and fine food was consumed. But nothing nasty happened to him at>>>all.>>>>>>In the evening when they got back on land and were getting cleaned up>>>for the night club, they all had a sauna as is customary in Sweden.>>>Imagine the groom's horror when he walked into the sauna where his naked>>>buddies were waiting for him to see that best mate number one had no>>>hair on his genitals. Neither did friend two, or three, or four.>>>>>>Can you guess where they got the fake beard from?>>>Now check out the picture. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
axw01 Donating Members 127 Member For: 21y 10m 2d Location: Brisbane QLD Posted 21/07/03 01:30 PM Share Posted 21/07/03 01:30 PM shock me...........shock_me1.mpa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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