Joke Of The Day

[Falchoon]

Eeeeewww!

[Falchoon]

A business man got on an elevator in a tall building. When he entered the elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying,

"T-G-I-F." He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T."

She looked at him, puzzled, and said, "T-G-I-F " again. He acknowledged her remark again by answering, "S-H-I-T."

The blonde was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly, "T-G-I-F " another time. The man smiled back to her and once again answers "S-H-I-T."

The blonde finally decided to explain things, and this time she said, "T-G-I-F. It means Thank Goodness It's Friday. Get it, duuhhh?" The man answered, "S-H-I-T - - - Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday.

[HellionXR6T]

Scrabble anyone???

GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE

DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM

EVANGELIST: When you rearrange the letters: EVIL'S AGENT

PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER

DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT

THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY

MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER

SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z ' S

A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: I ' M A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE

And for the grand finale: PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA: When you

rearrange the letters (With no letters left over and using each letter only once):

TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS

:lol:

[Guest Butzy]

This is just too funny not to share. Exerted from

an article which appeared in the Dublin Times about a bank robbery on March

2

Once inside the bank, shortly after midnight their

efforts at disabling the security system got underway immediately.

The robbers, who expected to find one or two large

safes filled with cash and valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of

smaller

safes scattered throughout the bank. The robbers cracked the first

safe's combination, and inside they found only a bowl of vanilla

pudding.

As recorded on the bank's audiotape system, one robber said, "At least

we'll

have a bit to eat. The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also

contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until

all the safes were opened. They found not one pound sterling, a diamond, or

ounce of gold.

Instead, all the safes contained covered bowls of pudding.

Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each

leaving with nothing more than a queasy, comfortably full stomach. The

newspaper

headline read:

Scroll Down

IRELAND'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS

MORNING :D

Oh that's bad, but funny. LOL :lol:

[XRSICKT]

Cool Falchoon,

I once went on a Virgin Blue flight to Brisbane from Sydney and the Flight attendent introduced herself and then said Welcome ladies and gentlement, girls and boys, granpas and grandmas, cats and dogs.

:lol: :lol: umm, had to be there.

[XRSICKT]

Ratings:-

24 27 points: Maaate!

15 23 points: You need to take a long hard look at yourself, son!

9 14 points: Poofter!

Maaate, hehehe, I'm a Frenchy too :D

[XRSICKT]

IRELAND'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS

MORNING :D

[ducatijb]

Little Johnny sees Daddy's car passing the playground and go into thewoods.

Curious he follows the car and sees Daddy and Aunt Jane in a "Passionate

Embrace". For little Johnny, this is so exciting that he can hardly contain

himself and runs home and starts to tell his Mother excitedly... MOMMY

MOMMY, I WAS AT THE PLAYGROUND AND DADDDY AND.. "Slow down", Mommy tells Johnny as she wants to hear the story. Then Johnny says; "I was at the playground when I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look for him and saw him giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take off his pants. Aunt Jane then laid down on the seat and then Daddy ... At this point Momm cuts him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for suppertime to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight." That night at the dinner table, Mommy asks Little Johnny to tell his story. Johnny starts the story describing the car going into the woods, the undressing, the laying down on the seat and.. "then Daddy and Aunt Jane did the same thing Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the army!"

Moral of the story: Sometimes you need to listen to the whole

story before interrupting ...

[ducatijb]

An American, Japanese and an Irish man were sitting naked in a sauna. Suddenly, there was a beeping sound. The American pressed his forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at him questioningly. "That was my pager," he said, "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm." A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese fellow lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained "That was my mobile phone, I have amicrochip in my hand." The Irishman felt decidedly low tech, but not to be outdone he decided he had to do something just as impressive. He stepped out of the sauna and went to the toilet. He returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his behind. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at him. The Irishman finally said ----- "Well, will you look at that, I'm getting a fax."

[Guest]

Two 90 year oldlady twins were going to have thier photos taken for thier birthdayat the nursing home.

The photogrepher arrives and tells the pair that he will start setting up." What did he say ? " said the deaf one of the twins, "Hes setting up " replied the sister

Ok ladies can you sit together on the couch.

"What did he say"

"Get up on the couch" replied sis

Now sit still because Im going to focous

"What did he say"

"He said hes going to focous " replied sis

"What the both of us ?"