Joke Of The Day

[NT TURBO]

Just imagine sitting in traffic on your way to work

and hearing this. Many Chicago folks DID hear this

on the WBAM FM morning show in Chicago. The DJs play a

game where they award winners great prizes.

The game is called "Mate Match". The DJs call someone

at work and ask if they are married or seriously

involved with someone.

If the contestant answers "yes", he or she is then

asked 3 random yet highly personal questions.

The person is also asked to divulge the name of their

partner with phone number) for verification. If their

partner answers those same three questions correctly,

they both win the prize.

One particular game, however, several months ago made

the City of Big Shoulders drop to its knees with

laughter and is possibly the funniest thing I've

heard yet. Anyway, here's how it all went down:

DJ: "Hey! This is Edgar on WBAM. Have you ever heard

of 'Mate Match'?"

Contestant: (laughing) "Yes, I have."

DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to

Orlando, Florida if you win. What is your name? First

only please."

Contestant: "Brian."

DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?"

Brian: "Yes."

DJ: "Yes? Does that mean you're married or you're

what?"

Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I am

married."

DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First

only please."

Brian: "Sara."

DJ: "Is Sara at work, Brian?"

Brian: "She is gonna kill me."

DJ: "Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?"

Brian: (laughing) "Yes, she's at work."

DJ: "Okay, first question - when was the last time

you had sex?"

Brian: "She is gonna kill me."

DJ: "Brian! Stay with me here!"

Brian: "About 8 o'clock this morning."

DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."

Brian: (laughing sheepishly) "Well..."

DJ: "Question #2 - How long did it last?"

> Brian: "About 10 minutes."

DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would

ever have said that if a trip wasn't at stake."

Brian: "Yeah, that trip sure would be nice."

DJ: "Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8

o'clock this morning?"

Brian: (laughing hard) "I, ummm, I, well..."

DJ: "This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?"

> Brian: "Not that it was all that great, but her mom

is staying with us for a couple of weeks..."

DJ: "Uh huh..."

Brian: "...and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at

the time."

DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."

Brian: "On the kitchen table."

DJ: "Not that great?? That is more adventure

than the previous hundred times I've done it. Okay

folks, I will put Brian on hold, get this wife's work

number and call her up. You listen to this."

3 minutes of commercials follow.

DJ: "Okay audience, let's call Sarah, shall we?"

(touch tones.....ringing....)

Clerk: "Kinkos."

DJ: "Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?"

Clerk: "This is she."

DJ: "Sarah, this is Edgar with WBAM. We are live on

the air right now and I've been talking with Brian

for a couple of hours now."

Sarah: (laughing) "A couple of hours?"

DJ: "Well, a while now. He is on the line with us.

Brian knows not to give any answers away or you'll

lose.

Sooooooo... do you know the rules of 'Mate Match'?"

Sarah: "No."

DJ: "Good!"

Brian: (laughing)

> Sarah: (laughing) "Brian, what the hell are you up

to?"

Brian (laughing) "Just answer his questions honestly,

okay? Be completely honest."

DJ: "Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3

questions,

Sarah. If your answers match Brian's answers, then

the both of you will be off to Orlando, Florida for 5

days on us. Disney World. Sea World. Tickets to the

Magic's game. The whole deal. Get it

Sarah?"

Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."

DJ: "Alright. When did you last have sex,

Sarah?"

Sarah: "Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning

before Brian went to work."

DJ: "What time?"

Sarah: "Around 8 this morning."

DJ: "Very good. Next question. How long did it last?"

Sarah: "12, 15 minutes maybe."

DJ: "Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is

trying to protect his manhood. We've got one last

question,

Sarah. You are one question away from a trip to

Florida. Are you ready?"

Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."

DJ: "Where did you have it?"

Sarah: "OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that,

did you?"

Brian: "Just tell him, honey."

DJ: "What is bothering you so much, Sarah?"

Sarah: "Well..."

DJ: Come on Sarah.....where did you have it?

Sarah: "Up the ass....."

After a long pause, the DJ said, "Folks, we need to

take a station break"

[saleen]

TV anchor woman Barbara Walters did a story on gender roles in

Kuwait several years before the Gulf War. She noted that women customarily

walked a few feet behind their husbands.

In a follow-up story, she returned to Kuwait recently and observed

that men now walked several yards behind their wives.

Ms. Walters approached one of the Kuwaiti women and said, "This

is marvelous! Can you tell the free

world just what it was that enabled women here to achieve this

total reversal

of roles?"

"Land mines," replied the woman.

[DallasQLD]

"NEWSFLASH"

The Queensland team training session was delayed yesterday for

nearlytwo hours. Gordon Tallis, while on his way back to the dressing room

happenedto look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown white powdery

substance at the end of the field.

Coach, Wayne Bennett, immediately suspended practice while the Police

were called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis, the

Police determined that the white substance, unknown to the players,

was the try line.

Practice was resumed when the officials decided that it was unlikely

that the team would encounter the substance again this season.

[Cro]

DJ: Come on Sarah.....where did you have it?

Sarah: "Up the ass....."

After a long pause, the DJ said, "Folks, we need to

take a station break"

That is GOLD, absolute GOLD :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Cro]

Practice was resumed when the officials decided that it was unlikely

that the team would encounter the substance again this season.

They're right about that one

[Redhawk]

DJ: Come on Sarah.....where did you have it?

Sarah: "Up the ass....."

After a long pause, the DJ said, "Folks, we need to

take a station break"

GOLD?????.........Platinum at least :D :D

I hope the station gave them the trip still :D

[Redhawk]

The Girlfriend Remote.

[XRSICKT]

Doc - "Really? What do you do in your spare time?"

Man - "Watch pornos and eat Twisties"

hehehe :lol: :lol:

good one mate

[XRSICKT]

The Girlfriend Remote.

nice one,

:lol: :lol:

I wonder if it might work on wives too :w00t:

[Redhawk]

Apparently there is a 'chip mod' you can get (also makes them perform better, I've heard) :D :D