Guest Phantom Guests Posted 04/06/03 03:51 AM Share Posted 04/06/03 03:51 AM Remember this, women can fake orgasms but men can fake whole relationships. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MISSXR Lifetime Members 623 Member For: 21y 8m 11d Gender: Female Location: IN YOUR NIGHTMARES Posted 04/06/03 04:10 AM Share Posted 04/06/03 04:10 AM Ok Ok - No Jokes but I find these really funny.....A pansy who lived in KhartoumTook a lesb1@n up to his room,And they argued all nightOver who had the rightTo do what, and with which, and to whom._______________________________________There once was a man from Peru,who fell asleep in a canoe,while dreaming of venus,he played with his p@n1s,and woke up with a hand full of goo.Ok that's enough me thinks, and NO I did not write these....But if you want morehttp://home.earthlink.net/~kristenaa/naughty/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saleen Big Gun Donating Members 4,170 Member For: 21y 10m 28d Gender: Male Location: NSW Posted 04/06/03 04:29 AM Share Posted 04/06/03 04:29 AM Heres some automotive acronyms. Yes theres Ford ones too. EnjoyAUDI Accelerates Under Demonic Influence Always Unsafe Designs Implemented All Un-informed Drivers Insulted All Unnecessary Devices Installed BMW Big Money WasteBeautiful Mechanical Wonder Bavarian Manure Wagon Big Money Works Bought My Wife Brutal Money Waster b**ch Magnet on Wheels BUICK Big Ugly Indestructable Car Killer CHEVROLET Can Hear Every Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time Chews Heads, Eats Valves, Runs Only Low ET's Can Handle Everything, Runs Over Limbs, Even Trees DODGE Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere Dead On Day Guarantee Expires FIAT Failure in Italian Automotive Technology Fix It All the Time Fix It Again, Tony! Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation FORD Fix Or Repair Daily Found On Road, Dead Fault Of R&D Fast Only Rolling Downhill F**ker Only Runs Downhill F***ed Over Rebuilt Dodge First On Rust and Deterioration First On Recall Day First On Race Day Fails On Race Day Fails On Rainy Days backwards -- Driver Returns On Foot Features O.J. and Ron's DNA GM General Maintenance Generally Mediocre Gypped Me GMC Garage Man's Companion Gotta Mechanic Coming? God's Mechanical Curse GrandMother's C**t GTO Get'cher Tools Out HONDA Had One Never Did Again Happy Owners Never Drive Anything Else HYUNDAI Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive JEEP Just Empty Every Pocket Just Everyone Else's Parts MAZDA Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along MOPAR My Old Pig Ain't Running Most Original Parts Already Replaced OLDSMOBILE Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment PINTO Put In Nickel To Operate PLYMOUTH Please Let Your Mother Out (from) Under The Hood PONTIAC Poor Ole Nut Thinks It's A Cadillac SAAB Send Another Automobile Back Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown TOYOTA Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto VOLVO Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object VW Virtually Worthless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjs Donating Members 525 Member For: 21y 8m 13d Location: Sydney Posted 04/06/03 06:20 AM Share Posted 04/06/03 06:20 AM Two peanuts walk into a bar.One was A-Salted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjs Donating Members 525 Member For: 21y 8m 13d Location: Sydney Posted 04/06/03 06:23 AM Share Posted 04/06/03 06:23 AM 'Quoted' Not actually me. I was due later in the week for an appointment with the gynecologist. Early one morning I received a call from the doctor's office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for early that morning at 9:30 a.m. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45a.m. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't haveany time to spare. As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the full effort. So I rushed upstairs, threw off my dressing gown,wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in "that area" to make sure it was at least presentable.I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket,donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment. I was in the waiting room only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as I'm sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away. I was a little surprised when the doctor said, "My, we have made anextra effort this morning, haven't we?" but I didn't respond. When the appointment was over, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest of the day was normal...some shopping, cleaning, cooking, etc. After school when my six-year-old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, "Mum, where's my washcloth?" I told her to get another one from the cupboard. She replied, "No, I need the one that was here by the sink. It had all my glitter and sparkles in it." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cro Flower Power Lifetime Members 6,114 Member For: 21y 10m 28d Gender: Male Location: Sydney Posted 04/06/03 06:32 AM Share Posted 04/06/03 06:32 AM 'Quoted' Not actually me. Yeah yeah, common mate, might as well come out of the closet sooner or later :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRSICKT Member 1,032 Member For: 21y 4m 23d Gender: Male Location: Sydney Posted 04/06/03 06:50 AM Author Share Posted 04/06/03 06:50 AM The picture tells it all.. :augen: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ninka Donating Members 1,850 Member For: 21y 8m 15d Gender: Male Location: Perth, WA Posted 04/06/03 07:57 AM Share Posted 04/06/03 07:57 AM Three couples, one elderly, one middle aged and one newlywed, present to the local priest, asking to join his congregation!The priest replies "that should be OK, but as we have had a lot of applications recently, we have decided to put new applicants through a small test! "What sort of test" ask the couples, "well I want you all to abstain from sex for two weeks, and then come back and tell me how you went" replies the priest.Two weeks pass, and the first couple to come to the priest, is the elderly couple, "how did you go" asks the priest, "no problem" replies the guy, two weeks was easy!"Welcome to the congregation" replies the priest. Next is the middle aged couple, "how did you go" asks the priest. "Well replies the guy, the first week was easy, but the second week, I had to sleep on the couch just to make sure, but we got through the two weeks OK" "Welcome to the congregation" replies the priestLast it is the newlywed couple, and again the priest ask "how did you go" the young man looks down slightly embarassed, "well the first week was quite easy, but then on the 11th day, my wife dropped a can of peas on the floor, and as she stood there in front of me, bent over and everything, lust just got the better of me, and I had to have her there and then", "well I am sorry to hear that son, I am afraid you will not be welcome in our congregation!" "No" replies the young man, "Coles are not too keen to see us again either!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turbo6man Lifetime Members 4,084 Member For: 21y 10m 28d Gender: Male Location: South Coast NSW Posted 04/06/03 08:13 AM Share Posted 04/06/03 08:13 AM THREE BLONDES - A bloke goes into dimly lit bar and after a couple of drinks decides to start a conversation with the female seated beside him at the bar. He asks her would she like to hear a blonde joke. The woman jumps off her stool and towers over the guy saying " Listen here buddy, Im blonde, I'm 6'2" tall, weigh 210 lbs and am a professional wrestler. My two girlfriends are also blonde and are even taller and heavier than me and one is the world champion kick boxer, so do you really want to tell a blonde joke right now?" "Naw", the guy replies, "not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HellionXR6T I'm Back!! Thats right, long over due! :) Lifetime Members 4,348 Member For: 21y 10m 4d Gender: Male Location: West Brisbane Posted 04/06/03 12:44 PM Share Posted 04/06/03 12:44 PM What about this image.Careful, it may offend some viewers. There I said it. You have been warned. Moderators, be kind. I couldn`t help myself.hehe....It is Ford related.....Kind of. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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