Joke Of The Day

[The Converted]

One day little johnny is in class and needs to take a piss really bad.

He pipes up, interupting the teach while she is talking, and says "Miss, I gotta go take a piss".

The teacher, very upset responds "the correct word is urinate. Use it in a sentence and you may go to the toilet".

Little johnny sits there getting annoyed and about to piss his pants until he raises his hand exclaiming that he has a sentence for the teacher.

She asks him to stand up and tell her what he has come up with.

With a giant grin, little johnny clears his throat and says;

"Urinate... But if you had bigger cans, you'd be a ten"

Edited 13/04/13 05:11 AM by The Converted

[timmy]

A good looking bloke is in a night club and starts to chat up a young lady. He gets close to her and asks her name, my name is Carmen she replies.

that's a lovely name the bloke replies. Yes, she says it means I like cars and men.

She asks the guy what his name is.

He replies "Beerfanny"!

[Ralph Wiggum]

^ Reminds me of this oldie.

Barry scores a date with a chick called Franny, His Ex Missus's name is Fanny so he concerned he will call Franny by the wrong name, so for the days before the date he keeps telling himself "fanny with an R, fanny with an R"

He fronts up at Franny's house, knocks on the door and Franny's Dad answers.

Barry ask Franny's dad...........................

"Is Krunt home?"

boom tish

[timmy]

A bloke asked me if I wanted to watch him and his wife having seks and possibly join in today. I declined he's a sick bastard my step dad!

[timmy]

A guy goes in an Adult Store in Western Sydney and asks for an inflatable doll.

Guy behind the counter says, 'Male or female?'

Customer says, 'Female.'

Counter guy asks, 'Black or white?'

Customer says, 'White.'

Counter guy asks, 'Christian or Muslim?'

Customer says, 'What the hell does religion have to do with it?'

Counter guy says, 'The Muslim one blows itself up.

[timmy]

The pictures of the little chinese baby who was rescued after blocking the sewage pipe were really heart warming.

I hear the nurses have named him Tam Pon.

[Corzza]

I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer.

The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking on various topics. Finally I thought about an age old question:

Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?

Women believe that giving birth must be way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.

Well, after another beer, and some heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with the answer to that question.

Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby; and here is the reason for my conclusion.

A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "it might be nice to have another child."

On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."

I rest my case.

Time for another beer.

What deep thinkers we Men are ...

I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer.

The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking on various topics. Finally I thought about an age old question:

Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?

Women believe that giving birth must be way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.

Well, after another beer, and some heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with the answer to that question.

Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby; and here is the reason for my conclusion.

A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "it might be nice to have another child."

On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."

I rest my case.

Time for another beer.

What deep thinkers we Men are ...

[xtremerus]

^^^^

It's a bugger telling jokes if you have Alzheimer's.

[Panda Eyes]

[Chaos310]

This woman goes fishing with four fellas... and all she comes home with is a red snapper.