ktford FORD FORD FORD Donating Members 9,390 Member For: 21y 11m 9d Gender: Male Location: Victoria Point In Brissy's eastern side Posted 15/05/04 12:55 AM Share Posted 15/05/04 12:55 AM These three blokes are bragging to each other how well they can turn on their wifesThe pommy says if I bring in a bowl of chicken broth,put it next to the bed then gently rubb her breas*s,she gets all excited,her back starts to arch 6" high off the bed.The I tie says " oh wella whena I geta maria ina de cota, and rubba hera legs wita olive oil, her assa lift ona foot in the aira.The ozzie pipes up and says " ah that's nothing,when Im finished f#cking the missus and I whipe my cock in the curtains, she hits the flaming roof"vik You must be older than I thought vikkyScotty CCC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blown BA In Your Face Member 6,195 Member For: 21y 11m 17d Gender: Male Location: Peninsula Posted 15/05/04 03:54 AM Share Posted 15/05/04 03:54 AM The cuckoo clock The guys wanted me to to stop at the local pub after work......not a problem I called Susan and told her I would be home around 10:00 or 11:00. Well, needless to say, I was a little late. I pulled into the driveway drunker than a skunk. I very quietly opened the door and and was headed for the bathroom when the cuckoo clock started it's thing. It cuckooed three times and I thought oh darn... So I cuckooed nine more times justin case she heard it.The next morning I got up and everything seemed fine. We had breakfast and were talking about the planned activities for the day. I am feeling pretty smug about the night before. Out of the clear blue sky Susan said, "We need a new cuckoo clock. I asked her "Why do you say that honey".Her reply was not what I wanted to hear. She said, "Last night it cuckooed 3 times and said "oh fudge", cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it's throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled cuckooed twice more and then farted......" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blown BA In Your Face Member 6,195 Member For: 21y 11m 17d Gender: Male Location: Peninsula Posted 15/05/04 03:56 AM Share Posted 15/05/04 03:56 AM Blind Golfers A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. Engineer: "What's up with these guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" Doctor: "Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word with him." Priest: "Hi George. Say George, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow aren't they?" George: "Oh yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight while saving our club house last year. So we let them play here anytime free of charge." Priest: "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." Doctor: "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them." Engineer: "That's all well and good but why can't they play after dark? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ratt_182 Guests Posted 16/05/04 12:12 PM Share Posted 16/05/04 12:12 PM there's a wife and husband at home, the husbands watching tv.the wife goes and try's on some crutchless undies, she walks out to her husbandpops her leg on the chair and says "do you want a piece of this".the husband looks at his missus and says "hell no,look what it's done to your undies". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guests Posted 17/05/04 12:39 AM Share Posted 17/05/04 12:39 AM there's a wife and husband at home, the husbands watching tv.the wife goes and try's on some crutchless undies, she walks out to her husbandpops her leg on the chair and says "do you want a piece of this".the husband looks at his missus and says "hell no,look what it's done to your undies". That reminds me..What part of Popeye never gets rusty?The part he keeps in Oliveoil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guests Posted 17/05/04 12:42 AM Share Posted 17/05/04 12:42 AM These three blokes are bragging to each other how well they can turn on their wifesThe pommy says if I bring in a bowl of chicken broth,put it next to the bed then gently rubb her breas*s,she gets all excited,her back starts to arch 6" high off the bed.The I tie says " oh wella whena I geta maria ina de cota, and rubba hera legs wita olive oil, her assa lift ona foot in the aira.The ozzie pipes up and says " ah that's nothing,when Im finished f#cking the missus and I whipe my cock in the curtains, she hits the flaming roof"vikYou must be older than I thought vikkyScotty CCC WTF is that sposed to mean Sallhoon,its agood joke the first time you hear itPSwhats yout number plate.vik Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktford FORD FORD FORD Donating Members 9,390 Member For: 21y 11m 9d Gender: Male Location: Victoria Point In Brissy's eastern side Posted 17/05/04 01:12 AM Share Posted 17/05/04 01:12 AM I heard lately that Dick Van Dyk had a name change, he used to be known as pen*s Von *beep*Scotty CCC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktford FORD FORD FORD Donating Members 9,390 Member For: 21y 11m 9d Gender: Male Location: Victoria Point In Brissy's eastern side Posted 17/05/04 01:13 AM Share Posted 17/05/04 01:13 AM whats yout number plate.vik BITE-MEScotty CCC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guests Posted 17/05/04 01:17 AM Share Posted 17/05/04 01:17 AM Why would anyone have a number plate BITE-ME unless your ongobongo!vik Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktford FORD FORD FORD Donating Members 9,390 Member For: 21y 11m 9d Gender: Male Location: Victoria Point In Brissy's eastern side Posted 17/05/04 01:18 AM Share Posted 17/05/04 01:18 AM Why would anyone have a number plate BITE-ME unless your ongobongo!vik BITE-MEScotty CCC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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