Turbo6FG Silver Donating Members 497 Member For: 14y 8m 11d Gender: Male Posted 13/12/10 01:23 PM Share Posted 13/12/10 01:23 PM A nun rushes into the chamber of the Mother Superior."I've just been raped by a man outside the convent. What shall I do? What if I have a child?"The Mother Superior looks at her for a moment then pulls a lemon out of a drawer."Eat this""Will it stop me having a baby?" asks the nun."No," says the Mother Superior, "but it'll probably wipe that silly grin off your face!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turbo6FG Silver Donating Members 497 Member For: 14y 8m 11d Gender: Male Posted 13/12/10 01:25 PM Share Posted 13/12/10 01:25 PM Apparently the best selling Christmas items in Afghanistan this year are blow up santas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest newl Guests Posted 14/12/10 12:11 AM Share Posted 14/12/10 12:11 AM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turbo6FG Silver Donating Members 497 Member For: 14y 8m 11d Gender: Male Posted 14/12/10 01:09 AM Share Posted 14/12/10 01:09 AM A good friend will bail you out of jailA best friend will be sitting in there next to you saying 'Damn, that was AWESOME!'Some people bring happiness wherever they go. Others, whenever they go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corzza 777 Member 7,135 Member For: 15y 9m 12d Gender: Male Location: Neutral Bay. Born and Bred in the RSA Posted 14/12/10 01:40 AM Share Posted 14/12/10 01:40 AM In biology class the teacher asks, "Can anyone tell me why a flounder is flat?"Little Johnny raises his hand."Go ahead, Johnny.""My uncle told me it's because a whale raped the flounder.""That's terrible, Johnny. I'll have to speak to your parents about this. Let's try another one. Why does a lobster's eyes protrude from its head?"Again Johnny raises his hand."We'll give you another chance.""My uncle said when the whale raped the flounder, the lobster saw it and his eyes popped out in shock." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corzza 777 Member 7,135 Member For: 15y 9m 12d Gender: Male Location: Neutral Bay. Born and Bred in the RSA Posted 14/12/10 08:03 PM Share Posted 14/12/10 08:03 PM A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall.They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.The boy asked, 'What is this Father?' The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life,I don't know what it is.'While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, an old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button.The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room.The walls closed, and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially..They continued to watch until it reached the last number, and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.Finally the walls opened up again and a 24-year-old blond stepped out.The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son.'Go get your Mother.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turbo6FG Silver Donating Members 497 Member For: 14y 8m 11d Gender: Male Posted 15/12/10 01:24 AM Share Posted 15/12/10 01:24 AM Double post Corzza you got the same one at the top of the page. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turbo6FG Silver Donating Members 497 Member For: 14y 8m 11d Gender: Male Posted 15/12/10 01:25 AM Share Posted 15/12/10 01:25 AM As we get older we sometimes begin to doubt our ability to "make a difference" in the world. It is at these times that our hopes are boosted by the remarkable achievements of other "seniors" who have found the courage to take on challenges that would make many of us wither. Harold Schlumberg is such a person:QUOTE FROM HAROLD I've often been asked, 'What do you old folks do now that you're retired? ' Well...I'm fortunate to have a chemical engineering background and one of the things I enjoy most is converting beer, wine and whisky into urine. I do it everyday and I really enjoy it. Harold should be an inspiration to us all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turbo6FG Silver Donating Members 497 Member For: 14y 8m 11d Gender: Male Posted 15/12/10 01:26 AM Share Posted 15/12/10 01:26 AM A big football player is in the bathroom taking a piss, and up walks this little, short guy to the urinal next to him. The big guy couldn't help but notice the enormous size of the little guys pen*s. He said to the little guy, "I'm not gay or anything but how can a guy so little have such a big dick?" The little guy replied, "Well I'm going to let you in on a little secret, I'm a leprechaun. I can grant you any wish you want, but there's a catch, you have to let me stick this up your ass." The big guy thought to himself, 'Well I've been knocked on my ass several times in football, surely I can take the pain of a pen*s in my ass.' "Ok. my wish is for a million dollars," he says. Leprechaun says, "bend over!" and proceeded to have his way with the football player. When it was over, the big guy exclaimed, "I can't believe you got all that up in me!" The little guy says, "I can't believe you thought I was a leprechaun!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turbo6FG Silver Donating Members 497 Member For: 14y 8m 11d Gender: Male Posted 15/12/10 01:27 AM Share Posted 15/12/10 01:27 AM Q: What is a man's Ultimate embarrassment? A: Running into a wall with an erection and breaking his nose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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