Guest XR09 Guests Posted 20/10/10 06:50 AM Share Posted 20/10/10 06:50 AM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corzza 777 Member 7,135 Member For: 16y 1m 2d Gender: Male Location: Neutral Bay. Born and Bred in the RSA Posted 20/10/10 08:36 PM Share Posted 20/10/10 08:36 PM (edited) A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices asign out of the corner of his eye....It reads:SISTERS OF . FRANCISHOUSE OF PROSTITUTION10 MILESHe thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on withoutsecond thought....Soon he sees another sign which reads:SISTERS OF ST. FRANCISHOUSE OF PROSTITUTION5 MILESSuddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drivespast a third sign saying:SISTERS OF ST. FRANCISHOUSE OF PROSTITUTIONNEXT RIGHTHis curiosity gets the better of him and he pulls into the driveway.On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next tothe door reading:SISTERS OF ST. FRANCISHe climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun ina long black habit who asks, 'What may we do for you my son?'He answers, 'I saw your signs along the highway and was interested inpossibly doing business.....''Very well my son. Please follow me.' He is led through many windingpassages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed doorand tells the man, 'Please knock on this door.'He does in and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answersthe door... This nun instructs, 'Please place $100 in the cup then gothrough the large wooden door at the end of the hallway.'He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips throughthe door pulling it shut behind himThe door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot facinganother sign:GO IN PEACE.YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWEDBY THE SISTERS OF . FRANCIS.YOU SINNER!! Edited 20/10/10 08:36 PM by Corzza Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harryh Donating Members 166 Member For: 14y 5m 3d Gender: Male Location: Sydney Posted 21/10/10 06:33 AM Share Posted 21/10/10 06:33 AM Little johnny is at school and today the teacher tells the class that the word of the day is CONTAGEOUS so she would like some examples of how you can use the word. Two children put up their hand (one of them little johnny) and the teacher chooses little Suzie because she is worried what Johnny might say... "yes Suzie, please give your example""well, my brother has the measles and mummy said not to get too close because he is contageous""excellent work Suzie". The teacher scans the room and nobody but Johnny has their hand up so she has to pick him."Ok johnny, plese give us your example""well I was in the car with mum dad and my sister and we were driving over the harbour bridge"The teacher is releived as she cant see how this will be made into a rude story...."and all of a sudden a big truck coming the other way gets a flat tyre and the truck swerves over the road, dad jumps on the breaks and the truck tips over in front of us and thousands of oranges fall out over the road and our car. Daddy was silent for a few seconds then said 'its going to take that contageous to pick up those oranges'" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Banned1 Banned Banned 734 Member For: 14y 5m 19d Gender: Male Location: Caloundra Posted 21/10/10 06:48 AM Share Posted 21/10/10 06:48 AM guy says to wife," feeling kinky, wanna come in your ear tonight ! " she said , "you'll make me deaf ffs !" "doubt that he said, I've been coming in your mouth for years and you still wont shut the f*ck up ! " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Banned1 Banned Banned 734 Member For: 14y 5m 19d Gender: Male Location: Caloundra Posted 21/10/10 06:49 AM Share Posted 21/10/10 06:49 AM (edited) seen this pakistani lady on the train last night, thought she was dead but then spotted the red dot on her forehead and realised she was just on standby ! Edited 21/10/10 06:49 AM by rab Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turbo6FG Silver Donating Members 497 Member For: 15y 1d Gender: Male Posted 21/10/10 06:59 AM Share Posted 21/10/10 06:59 AM The Red Cross knocked on my door & asked me if I had anything to donate to the Pakistan flood victims.I told them my garden hose only reached as far as the front driveway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest XR09 Guests Posted 22/10/10 07:58 AM Share Posted 22/10/10 07:58 AM (edited) Sometimes things just arn't as tasty as they look ! Edited 22/10/10 07:59 AM by XR09 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turbo6FG Silver Donating Members 497 Member For: 15y 1d Gender: Male Posted 26/10/10 04:14 AM Share Posted 26/10/10 04:14 AM Man charged over pen*s tattoo | Odd Spot | BigPond News Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corzza 777 Member 7,135 Member For: 16y 1m 2d Gender: Male Location: Neutral Bay. Born and Bred in the RSA Posted 27/10/10 08:26 PM Share Posted 27/10/10 08:26 PM A guy has a horny parrot. It's terrible. Every time he reaches into the cage, the bird humps his arm. He invites his mother to tea, and the bird keeps saying foul things. Finally he takes the parrot to a vet. The vet examines the bird extensively, says, "Well, you have a very horny male parrot. I have a sweet young female bird, and for 200 bucks your bird can go in the cage with mine.." The guy's parrot is listening and says, "Come on! Come on! What the f#ck are you waiting for. "Finally, the guy says "All right" and hands over the 200 bucks. The vet takes the parrot, puts him in the cage with the female bird and closes the curtain. Suddenly, "Kwah! Kwah! Kwah!" The cage starts shaking and feathers come flying out. The vet screams, "**** ****," and runs across the room and opens the curtain. The male bird has the female bird down on the bottom of the cage with one claw. With the other claw he's pulling out all her feathers, saying, "For 200 f#cking bucks, I want you naked, b!tch. Naked!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corzza 777 Member 7,135 Member For: 16y 1m 2d Gender: Male Location: Neutral Bay. Born and Bred in the RSA Posted 28/10/10 08:12 PM Share Posted 28/10/10 08:12 PM A man is stopped by the police at midnight and asked where he's going."I'm on the way to listen to a lecture about the effects of alcohol and drug abuse on the human body."The policeman asks, "Really? And who's going to give a lecture at this time of night?"My wife" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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