Baddy Member 55 Member For: 17y 4m 17d Posted 28/05/10 03:35 AM Share Posted 28/05/10 03:35 AM ABC Steel, P/L feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a bloke leaning against a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business. He asked th is bloke, "How much money do you make a week?" A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, "I make $400 a week. Why?" The CEO said, "Wait right here." He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, "Here's four weeks' pay. Now GET OUT and don't come back." Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?" From across the room a voice said, "Pizza delivery guy from Domino's." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corzza 777 Member 7,135 Member For: 15y 11m 10d Gender: Male Location: Neutral Bay. Born and Bred in the RSA Posted 29/05/10 12:05 AM Share Posted 29/05/10 12:05 AM Video - Truckie unknowingly snares car at 110km/h - The Age Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest XR09 Guests Posted 29/05/10 12:39 AM Share Posted 29/05/10 12:39 AM A man and a woman are sitting at the bar one night, drinking their problems away. After a time, the man decides to ask the woman, "What's the matter, you seem really down?" The woman responds, "Well, it's just that my husband left me." The man looked surprised as the woman was quite attractive and asked "Why would he leave you?" The woman replied, "He said I was too kinky in the bedroom." Immediately the man’s eyes lit up in shock at her answer. "My wife actually just left me for the same reason," he told her, and it was the truth. The two of them get to talking and eventually she invites the man to her home.They enter her bedroom, and the woman instructs the man to take a seat on the bed, that she is going to 'get ready' in the other room. The woman proceeds to attire herself in a leather corset, complete with whip, chains, and ballgag. She heads to the pantry and grabs a bottle of whipped cream and some Tobasco sauce.The woman then re-enters the bedroom to see the man putting on his coat about to walk out the door. The woman exclaims, "What's the matter? I thought you were kinky!" to which the man replied, "Lady, I just f*cked your dog and sh*t in your purse, I'm done here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corzza 777 Member 7,135 Member For: 15y 11m 10d Gender: Male Location: Neutral Bay. Born and Bred in the RSA Posted 30/05/10 09:23 PM Share Posted 30/05/10 09:23 PM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corzza 777 Member 7,135 Member For: 15y 11m 10d Gender: Male Location: Neutral Bay. Born and Bred in the RSA Posted 31/05/10 09:24 PM Share Posted 31/05/10 09:24 PM A man had great tickets for the World Cup Final. As he sits down, another man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting inthe empty seat next to him. "No," he says. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible!" says the other man. "Who in their right mind wouldhave a seat like this for the World Cup Final, the biggest sportingevent, and not use it?""Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife was supposed to comewith me, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final wehaven't been to together since we got married. "Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you findsomeone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbour to take theseat?" The man shakes his head. "No. They're all at her funeral..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corzza 777 Member 7,135 Member For: 15y 11m 10d Gender: Male Location: Neutral Bay. Born and Bred in the RSA Posted 02/06/10 02:25 AM Share Posted 02/06/10 02:25 AM Teacher: "Children, tomorrow I would like you to give me an example of a development that is currently being built near your home and what are the advantages of this new development." At the end of the class, the teacher asks that all the little Girls stay behind for 5 minutes. Teacher: "Young ladies, I have received numerous complaints from your parents concerning Little Johnny's' crude remarks. It is very likely that for tomorrow he is going to say something dirty and that is why I am asking you all, to avoid any further problems, when he says anything that appears rude, Get up and leave the class room" Everybody agreed to this plan. Next day, teacher: "Is everybody ready with their assignment? Go Ahead Anita" Anita: "Near my home, a supermarket is being built. Now my mommy doesn't have to walk so far to get bread and milk." Teacher: "Very good Anita! Yes Koosie!" Koosie: "Near my home, they are building a furniture factory. My Daddy is a carpenter and this permits him to work near home" Teacher: "Excellent, thank you Koosie!" At this point, little Johnny's hand shoots up and the teacher asks:"Oh heavens, tell me Johnny what new development is being built near your home." Little Johnny: "Near my home, they are building a brothel" As all the young ladies got up and proceeded to leave, Little Johnny says, " Hey relax you little whores, it hasn't opened yet!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest XR09 Guests Posted 02/06/10 06:24 AM Share Posted 02/06/10 06:24 AM A woman goes to the doctor, beaten black and blue. Doctor: "What happened?"Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes homedrunk he beats me to a pulp."Doctor: "I have a real good medicine for that. When your husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of sweet tea and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don't swallow until he goes to bed and is asleep." Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn. Woman: "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk, I swished with sweet tea. I swished and swished, and he didn't touch me!"Doctor: "You see how much keeping your mouth shut helps?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tab Sucker Moderating Team 32,303 Member For: 20y 8m 17d Gender: Male Location: Brisbane Posted 02/06/10 06:56 AM Share Posted 02/06/10 06:56 AM More effective as an email...> Make your vote count> > As a rule, I don’t pass along these “add your name” lists that appear> in emails, BUT this one is important.> > It has been circulating for months and has been sent to over 20 million people.> > We don’t want to lose any names on the list so just hit forward and send it on.> > Please Please keep it going!> > > > To show your support for Kevin Rudd please scroll to the end of the> list below and add your name.> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > 1. Therese Rein> > 2. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buf-Phoon loitering with intent Lifetime Members 13,318 Member For: 21y 4m 23d Gender: Male Location: Zombie Birdhouse Posted 02/06/10 07:50 AM Share Posted 02/06/10 07:50 AM but you are wrong, that list doesn't have a beginning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corzza 777 Member 7,135 Member For: 15y 11m 10d Gender: Male Location: Neutral Bay. Born and Bred in the RSA Posted 02/06/10 09:34 PM Share Posted 02/06/10 09:34 PM The 7 dwarfs went to meet the Pope. "Go on Dopey, ask," chanted the other 6. "Ok" said Dopey. "Sir are there nuns in Alaska?" "Yes there are" said the Pope. "Go on Dopey, ask him" urged the other 6. "Ok" said Dopey". "Sir are there black nuns in Alaska?" "Yes there are" said the Pope. "Go on Dopey ask him", Dopey blushed "are there midget nuns in Alaska?" "No I don't think so" said the Pope, all 6 leapt up shouting, DOPEY SHAGGED A PENGUIN, DOPEY SHAGGED A PENGUIN !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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