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  • Member
  • Member For: 22y 4m 9d
  • Gender: Male
  • Location: byron bay more underarm hair per square km

ive got a couple.

why dont you go to bed with a mirror and wake up to yourself!

go home and f@$k your shoes theres been a c@#t in them all day

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  • nutter
  • Member
  • Member For: 21y 5m 13d
  • Location: Wagga Wagga

kinda lame but been an on-going joke between me and a few mates

whenever somone says somthing to you, like "im gonna go get a beer" turn fast and say "your a beer"

iunno, just somthing we do while pissed... passes time faster

  • Member
  • Member For: 21y 9m 25d

One of the favorite insults I've given was to a good female friend. After a rather long trip back from Airlie Beach to Brisbane we got out of the car at which time she remarked " Arr man I've got a numb ass"!

Me being the polite gentleman that I am promptly replied "sh*t, that must take a load off".

Might I add, she didn't seem to find it as funny as me and if I wasn't quite so light on my feet the right hand she swung may well have connected with some marked degree of force.

  • Donating Members
  • Member For: 21y 4m 17d
  • Gender: Male
  • Location: brisbane

Was at doohlies irish bar in the valley when a female walked over to me and said "your trying really hard to look cool but its not working"

I was dumbfounded and lost for words.... My mate standing next to me replied to her in an instant "well your trying really hard to look skinny but that's not working either"!!

She was really embarressed.... and I bought my mate a pint :3gears:

It was a priceless moment

  • zeke
  • Member
  • Member For: 21y 11m 28d
  • Location: Adelaide

One of the best insults I ever heard of was from a polly in parliament and he did it without using any rude words. (I think it was Gough, but not sure).

Another polly was getting a bit strident and said "Don't forget I'm a country member"

Gough muttered "We remember!"

(Prolly went thru' to the keeper with most of that mob in Canberra)

Another time he took his staff out to dinner and ordered a steak and salad. The waiter said "What about the vegetables?" He said "they can order for themselves".

  • loitering with intent
  • Lifetime Members
  • Member For: 21y 9m 30d
  • Gender: Male
  • Location: Zombie Birdhouse

ppfffttt ( roll eyes) .. how hard can it be?

So how is it goin people ? " well we just keep 'chimpin" away sir

  • Poison Fish. Poison Fish. TASTY FISH!!!
  • Donating Members
  • Member For: 22y 3m 3d
  • Gender: Male
  • Location: The Bogan Shire

'I hope when you go home that your mother comes out from underneath your front porch and bites you'

'If I were you I'd sue whatever doctor dropped you on the head when you were a baby'

Is it OK if I nod and smile as ignoring you often offends'

and for those that know some Chris Rock skits:

'Tammy Dead'

'Guns, aren't the trouble, bullets are! They should make guns free and bullets $10,000. So next time some one pisses you off. "that's it, im gonna get a second job, start saving extra hard, quit smoking and in 18 months, im gonna come back and put 20K worth of bullet in you'.

'You don't sell drugs, drugs sell themselves. Have you ever heard a dealer say "What am I gonna do with all this crack?"

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