favorite simpsons quotes!

[Guest wrxboy]

Burns: "Surely the manual will depict which lever is the velocitator and which is the decelaratrix."

Homer (after listening to the subliminal learning tape):

Lisa: "Are the tapes working dad?"

Homer: "Lamentably no. My gastronomic capacity knows no satiety"

Marge: "I don't think those tapes are working. You ate three desserts tonight!"

Homer: "Marge, that triumvirate of Twinkies merely overwhelmed my resolve."

Homer (after he stops listening to the tapes)

Homer: "Marge, where's the ..... metal dealie....... you use to.....dig.....food with?"

Marge: "You mean a spoon?"

Homer "Yeah, yeah, gimme."

[dankman]

Duff man can't breath OH NO!

Chick: But duff man you said you'd help father our child

DuffMan: Duff Man says a lot of things OH YEAH!

[JB]

Moe: I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt... I can't compete with that stuff.

[JB]

Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?

Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.

Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.

Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?

Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.

Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.

Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.

Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.

Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.

Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.

Homer: Bart, go to your room.

[JB]

B.T.Barlow: Mr. Mayor, I have a question for you.....what if YOU came home one night to find your family tid up and gagged, with SOCKS in their mouths.They're screaming.Your trying to get in but there's too much BLOOD on the knob!!!!!

Quimby: What is your question about?

B.T.Barlow: It's about the budget sir.

Titanya: But Duffman, you said if I slept with you I wouldn't have to touch the drunk!

Duffman: Duffman... says a lot of things! Oh, yeah!

Duffman: Hey Duff lovers! Does anyone in this bar loooove Duff?

Carl: Hey, it's Duffman!

Lenny: Newsweek said you died of liver failure.

Duffman: Duffman can never die, only the actors who play him. Ooh yeah!

Announcer: Your cable television is experiencing difficulties. Please do not panic. Resist the temptation to read or talk to loved ones. Do not attempt sexual relations, as years of TV radiation have left your genitals withered and useless.

Wiggum (checking): Well I'll be damned.

[-carty]

Willie : There's nary an animal alive that can outrun a greased scotsman!

[Goose]

Duff man can't breath OH NO!

Chick: But duff man you said you'd help father our child

DuffMan: Duff Man says a lot of things OH YEAH!

When home goes on the hunger strike cos duff are moving the Isotopes to Alberquirequeu (can't spell)

Duffman: Duffman is thrusting in the direction of the problem, Ooh Yeah!

When Santas lil Helper gets stuck in the air vents at school

Willie: "Lunch Ladie Doris, Have ya got eny grease"

Lunch Lady Doris: "Yes, yes we do"

Willie: "The grease me up woman"

Lunch Lady Doris: "Okey Dokey"

[siccar]

Homer:

Yum, Yum, Yum, Yum,

Yum, Yum, Yum, Yum,

Yum, Yum, Yum, Yum,

Yum, Yum, Yum, Yum,

Homer in College: (1969 during Neil armstrong moon landing.)

Yummy yummy yummy, I've got love in my tummy and I feel like loving you.

[JB]

Trent: [walking up] The man knows what he likes.

Homer: Just taking care of business.

Trent: If you don't, who will, huh? Trent Steele.

Homer: Homer Si ... uh, Max Power.

Trent: Oh, hey! Great name!

Homer: Yeah, isn't it? I got it off a hair dryer.

Trent: [laughs] I like a man who can poke fun at himself. [looks at his watch] Ooh, hey, my one o'clock cancelled. Eh, you had any lunch?

Homer: Yeah, but I usually have three or four.

Trent: So where to eat? You like Thai?

Homer: Tie good. You like shirt?

[JB]

Chief Wiggum: Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1... 2.

Homer: From now on, there are three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way.

Bart: Isn't that just the wrong way?

Homer: Yeah, but faster!

Professor Frink: You've got to listen to me. Elementary chaos theory tells us that all robots will eventually turn against their masters and run amok in an orgy of blood and the kicking and the biting with the metal teeth and the hurting and shoving.

Scientist: How much time do we have professor?

Frink: Well according to my calculations, the robots won't go berserk for at least 24 hours.

(The robots go berserk.)

Frink: Oh, I forgot to er, carry the one.