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  • I'm Back!! Thats right, long over due! :)
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Hi XR8Chic,

You poor woman, sounds like my job all over. So you have the fun of training newbies as well? Hmmm. I know your pain :P

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  • The Noble Leader
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  • Member For: 22y 3m 22d
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  • Location: Sydney Australia
Very funny!!

I am now fairly computer ok...but on buying my first one I went out and got a magazine on how to put it together...now know that the bits will only go one way anyway

The last thing the mag said to do was switch the 'power' switch on at the back of the computer...which is correct for USA...in Aus the switch changes the voltage from 110 to 240 volts...plicked the switch...bang and ...smoke...!!!

Another ID 10 T !!

Three more sleeps and I get my car!!You bloody beauty

Thats exactly what happened with my first PC when i was around 8!!! :lol: Luckily for me it got replaced under warranty..

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  • I'm Back!! Thats right, long over due! :)
  • Lifetime Members
  • Member For: 22y 2m 30d
  • Gender: Male
  • Location: West Brisbane

Hahahahahaha, LOL, cool.

Think of a few victims I could send that great little URL to. :D :D :D

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  • 2 months later...
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  • Member For: 21y 9m 19d
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  • Location: Sydney

Heres a few IT jokes I picket up the other day :lol:

The IT team felt that it would be good to provide you

       with this guide to help us do our jobs better:

 1. When you call us to have your computer moved, be

> sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards,

> baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling

> trophies and children's art. We don't have a life,

> and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting

> glimpse of yours.

>

> 2. Don't write anything down. Ever. We can play back

> the error messages from here.

>

> 3. When an IT person says he's coming right over, go

> for coffee. That way you won't be there when we need

> your password. It's nothing for us to remember 300

> screensaver passwords.

>

> 4. When you call the help desk, state what you want,

> not what's keeping you from getting it. We don't need

> to know that you can't get into your mail because your

> computer won't power on at all.

>

> 5. When IT Support sends you an email with high

> importance, delete it at once. We're just testing.

>

> 6. When an IT person is eating lunch at his desk, walk

> right in and spill your guts right out. We exist only

> to serve.

>

> 7. Send urgent email all in uppercase. The mail server

> picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery.

>

> 8. When the photocopier doesn't work, call computer

> support. There's electronics in it.

>

> 9. When you're getting a NO DIAL TONE message at home,

> call computer support. We can fix your telephone line

> from here.

>

> 10. When you have a dozen old computer screens to get

> rid of, call computer support. We're collectors.

>

> 11. When something's wrong with your home PC, dump it

> on an IT person's chair with no name, no phone number

> and no description of the problem. We love a puzzle.

>

> 12. When an IT person tells you that computer screens

> don't have cartridges in them, argue. We love a good

> argument.

>

> 13. When an IT person tells you that he'll be there

> shortly, reply in a scathing tone of voice: "And just

> how many weeks do you mean by shortly?" That

> motivates us.

>

> 14. When the printer won't print, re-send the job at

> least 20 times. Print jobs frequently get sucked into

> black holes.

>

> 15. When the printer still won't print after 20 tries,

> send the job to all 68 printers in the company. One of

> them is bound to work.

>

> 16. Don't learn the proper name for anything

> technical. We know exactly what you mean by "my thingy

> blew up".

>

> 17. Don't use online help. Online help is for wimps.

>

> 18. If the mouse cable keeps knocking down the framed

> picture of your dog, lift the computer and stuff the

> cable under it. Mouse cables were designed to have

> 20kg of computer sitting on top of them.

>

> 19. If the space bar on your keyboard doesn't work,

> blame it on the mail upgrade. Keyboards are actually

> very happy with half a pound of muffin crumbs and nail

> clippings in them.

>

> 20. When you get a message saying "Are you sure?"

> click on that Yes button as fast as you can. Hell, if

> you weren't sure, you wouldn't be doing it, would you?

>

> 21. When you find an IT person on the phone with his

> bank, sit uninvited on the corner of his desk and

> stare at him until he hangs up. We don't have any

> money to speak of anyway.

>

> 22. Feel perfectly free to say things like "I don't

> know nothing about that computer rubbish." We don't

> mind at all hearing our area of professional expertise

> referred to as rubbish.

>

> 23. When you need to change the toner cartridge in a

> printer, call IT Support. Changing a toner cartridge

> is an extremely complex task, and Hewlett-Packard

> recommends that it be performed only by a professional

> engineer with a master's degree in nuclear physics.

>

> 24. When you can't find someone in the government

> directory, call IT Support.

>

> 25. When you have a lock to pick on an old file

> cabinet, call IT Support. We love to hack.

>

> 26. When something's the matter with your computer,

> ask your secretary to call the help desk. We enjoy the

> challenge of having to deal with a third party who

> doesn't know anything about the problem.

>

> 27. When you receive a 30mb (huge) movie file, send it

> to everyone as a mail attachment. We've got lots of

> disk space on that mail server.

>

> 28. Don't even think of breaking large print jobs down

> into smaller chunks. Somebody else might get a chance

> to squeeze a memo into the queue.

>

> 29. When an IT person gets on the elevator pushing

> $600,000 worth of computer equipment on a cart, ask in

> a very loud voice: "Good grief, you take the elevator

> to go DOWN one floor?!?" That's another one that

> cracks us up no end.

>

> 30. When you lose your car keys, send an email to the

> entire company. People out in Pofadder like to keep

> abreast of what's going on.

>

> 31. When you bump into an IT person at the grocery

> store on a Saturday, ask a computer question. We do

> weekends.

>

> 32. Don't bother to tell us when you move computers

> around on your own. Computer names are just a cosmetic

> feature.

>

> 33. When you bring your own personal home PC for

> repair at the office, leave the documentation at home.

> We'll find all the settings and drivers somewhere.....

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  • Lifetime Members
  • Member For: 22y 1m 29d
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  • Location: Albany Creek QLD

For those of you that need the highest quality support and information about computers, look no further than this site.

http://www.deadtroll.com/index2.html

My company does 2000 support requests a month. We could fill the forum with the crap we take daily

cheers fellow IT'ers

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