in a sense she is right, that it shouldn't be that hard, but for it to not be "that hard" both parties need to work together to allow things to naturally progress in all aspects and that's where most of the issues lay (not just within your relationship I mean) and helping her understand that will make things all the more easier for both of you.
I went all through so I have plenty of experience (which sucks and its damn hard work) but if you ever need a chat or the likes feel free to drop me a PM